I am admitting to a snarky blog today. After the past couple of years I have compiled how I would really like to reply to some people. The other night we were out to dinner and I worried I might stop biting my tongue! It cracks me up. While I know that people are well meaning, sometimes the questions/helpful hints are enough to make my hair straight. Then thought, blog post! So here it is, what I am really thinking when some one offers their ‘helpful’ comments:
Boo will be just fine–Can I borrow that crystal ball to find out tonight’s lotto numbers?
Does Boo really need to be in Feeding therapy?–Nope, but I had nothing to do every Tuesday morning so figured why not. (This is an old one but still golden)
Most 5YO are like that–Really? Because Abby was once a 5 year old and she never escaped the back yard, the car seat, the class room, etc…
Boo is just a late talker–I know I just love hanging with Christine and Lauren.
She is banging her head for your attention–Oh, okay. I will tell the neurologist that you figured it out.
God doesn’t give you more than you can handle–I think he must have confused me with some one else.
Boo cannot walk in the parking lot alone?–Well I supposed she could, but then I wouldn’t be building up my arm muscles.
I don’t know how you do it–A nice chilled glass of Mommy’s Time Out Pinot Grigio (they don’t call it that for nothing!)
Just let Boo try that (insert food/drink item here)–You are right. I will just drop her off at your house for the Hazmat clean-up.
Are you in a support group?–Yes, they are called Girls Night In and frequent texts from my best friends.
It is so nice that Hubby is so involved–I know you would think Boo is just some one he is volunteering with and not an actual parent of.
Boo really doesn’t like the beach?–I’m sure she is just screaming with fright because of the Speedos.
(Another oldie) Why does Boo use sign language, don’t you want her to talk?–Yes, I do but I also think having a second language is so helpful these days.
Don’t worry, Boo will catch up–To whom?
From the man in the next pew: Good luck with that one–Yes, I have good luck with her, you should see the child I didn’t bring to Mass.
Enjoy the girls devotion to each other, it won’t last (yes, this was from a helpful cashier at K-Mart who thougth she had the right to comment on my life)–Thanks, I have one more thing to worry about now.
From the oh so helpful woman at the insurance agency: Does Boo really need that expensive medicine?—Nope I just want to get the most our of premiums.
And my personal favorite…..(In a restaurant from a helpful patron at the next table) Just put the girl in the highchair and enjoy your meal.--Sure, I will put her in the high chair. At your table and I will be at the bar.
Tell me, what are you privately thinking when some one you don’t know comments on your life?
To learn more about Down Syndrome, please visit the National Down Syndrome Society.
(Un)Diagnosed and still okay 
Ohmygoodness, just when I think I can’t possibly love you any more than I already do! I laughed so hard at the “you should see the child I didn’t bring to Mass.” OMG. I love that you are able to see the humor in this stuff, because without the humor, it just completely sucks that people have to make such ignorant comments! Some of them I can see were well-intentioned, but it still must be so frustrating to have to put up with that. And — “Just put the girl in the highchair and enjoy your meal” ….WTF, seriously?
And as far as the girls’ devotion to each other not lasting — that is the biggest load of $%!# I’ve ever heard. If anything, I think their relationship will grow even stronger over time. Your kids are awesome.
I really dislike when people ask me if I’m drunk because of the way that I’m walking…it’s like, WHY WOULD I BE DRUNK ON A TUESDAY MORNING? AND WHO ARE YOU?! WHAT HAPPENED TO SOCIAL GRACES?!
Or — kinda like the people who assure you that Boo will “catch up,” sometimes people say stuff to me like, “You can work through it,” or “I’m sure you’ll be all better in no time!” I usually just smile at these people and go on with my day, but sometimes I just wish people realized that not everything is temporary and curable.
LikeLike
Exactly!! They are trying to be supportive, but failing miserably!
LikeLike
OMG, I’m dying here. Those are perfect. As my brother used to say “those are the things you think but don’t say” — but oh, how you want to say them!!!!
LikeLike
I think those thoughts VERY loudly!
LikeLike
My personal favorite is the “Does she really need feeding therapy?” and the infamous “God never gives you more than you can handle!” First off, the expression is supposed to be “God never gives you more than you can handle WITH HIS HELP!” and if that was true, there would be no child abuse or suicide or ____ (fill in the blank.) So you just muddle through as best you can and take one day at a time with that glass of Pinot!
LikeLike
The God doesn’t give you more than you can handle puts me right over the edge. Along with the “it takes a special parent to have a special child”. URGH I could start a new list with those alone!
LikeLike
FUCKRS. Yup. “He will catch up” and “all 5yo do that” and “that’s just a boy thing” and “maybe if you’d made him talk more when he was younger” and “if he’d been in daycare” and “he seems mostly normal to me” and “it’s fine to move the other kids so he can have his spot” and “it’s easier to just give him what he wants” and “He’s five years old and needs a bottle to drink milk? you are a horrible parent”
Yup. Sob. Yup.
LikeLike
It’s quite ridiculous. Family comments you can almost say to yourself, well they are trying to understand. But the ones from acquaintances or strangers? Those are the ones that drive me truly crazy!
LikeLike
Oh Kerri, I was laughing out loud at these!
The one that really annoys Cooper is “what’s wrong with him?” He would be happy to answer if firstly they said hello, then asked his name then perhaps more appropriately asked ” why do you need to use a wheelchair/walker etc” so instead he just does the Ben Stiller in Happy Gilmore and pretends to cut his throat 😉 or uses the fact that his speech is unclear to mutter a few choice words! 😉
I used to get ” no! He doesnt have cp, he looks so normal!” ” are you sure?” Which launches me into a 30 minute education about different types and severity of cp! When all I want to do is punch them in the face!
LikeLike
I want to know how you do not punch them in the nose! People amaze me with their remarks.
LikeLike
Wow, these are great. Do people actually think they’re being helpful?
I bet if felt so good to write these down!
LikeLike
They are all true and it was very cathartic for sure!
LikeLike