I choose

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I do not write about my husband often on this blog. For a number of reasons, primarily because he doesn’t read it. I do not think it is fair to write about him and he not know about it. Also it isn’t fair. He has no recourse to refute anything I may decide to expose. Something I might think is funny or natural he might take offense to. After eighteen years (holy crap, we are old) together we have a nice rhythm and life based on mutual respect.  Out of that respect I generally do not talk about him, here.

My friend, Allison at Go Dansker, Mom, Writer, recently wrote a beautiful post about choosing to see the light in the world. Turn on the news and if they are not talking about Brian Williams (gasp, he exaggerated) they are telling us how horrible the world is. I told Allison that a frequent argument discussion in our home is over my husband focusing on the dark (my words, he would say he is just aware and vigilant) while I am determined to see the beautiful light in the world (he would probably say I believe in unicorns, too). Okay, those are all my words but I believe our differences create balance between the two of us and show the girls both sides of the world.

The side of the world where you have to not talk to strangers.
The side of the wold where you stop and ask if someone is okay.

The side of the world where your Uncle goes to War.
The side of the world where that Uncle sends pictures of camels home. (true story)

The side of the world where you do not see kids playing outside in the neighborhood.
The side of the world where your neighborhood takes a van load of kids sledding (true story).

The side of the world where those running in the Boston Marathon are exposed to terror.
The side of the world where your mom still runs and races.

The side of the world where you see the looting, the distrust and the hate.
The side of the world where you see the first responders doing their job.

The side of the world where you don’t know your neighbors.
The side of the world where you pay your neighbors back in baked goods for snow blowing your driveway without being asked (true story).

The side of the world where kids go to impoverished schools.
The side of the world where teachers stock their cabinets with socks and toothpaste. (true story, not mine but still true)

The side of the world where a child can be murdered for being disabled.
The side of the world where a child is included not despite their disability, but out of friendship.

The side of the world where looking at this you think, crap I have to shovel three feet of snow.
The side of the world where looking at this you think, well at least I don’t have to mow the lawn.

snow

The view from my front door this weekend

The world is dark and scary. There are things happening where I cannot find the words to explain it in a manner Abby will understand. All I can do is show her, through both David’s and mine examples, that we acknowledge the dark but we do not deny the light.

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars. Og Mandino

It is the smallest spark of light that can change a landscape. The tiniest stars are visible on the darkest night. We can all be that light. For ourselves, our families and our society. To not acknowledge the dark is to disrespect the sacrifice. My determination to focus on the light is not to live in a bubble. I just refuse to believe that the light at the end of the tunnel is a train speeding towards me.

I am determined to show my children that they have to be the light. It is our job to advocate for fairness. That every person counts and is important to our lives. It is our job to show compassion, friendship and empathy. We must be the teacher, the example of how to live a life full of light. They might just be that tiny spark in someone else’s darkness.

In the words of the immortal Yoda, I tell myself and my family that we must: Try not. Do or do not. There is no try.

So we will do, we will be active in our compassion and our kindness. We will lead by a tiny example of how the tiniest village starts with few like minded individuals who want to flood the world with stories of compassion.

I hope you choose to join us.

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22 thoughts on “I choose”

  7. tamaralikecamera

    I certainly do choose to join you.
    And it’s funny. I don’t talk a lot about Cassidy and our arguments. I talk about our past a lot, and his insane costume making, but not about these same conversations.
    He’s a realist and I’m an idealist and sometimes talking to him is like running into a brick wall.
    Repeatedly.
    The funny thing is that when we make predictions, I’m always right, but it takes years.

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  10. Kristi Campbell - findingninee

    I flagged this one earlier in the week because I was on my phone and just want to say that I ADORE you for saying “At least I don’t have to mow the lawn!” HA. Also, here’s to seeing the light my friend. I think our husbands (and we) are very alike.

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  11. Emily

    I am joining by tweeting and sharing all of these wonderful posts…my lack of blogging these days is still holding me back from posting my own story of compassion, but I hope you know I am 100% behind all of these compassionate voices!

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