Balance

I some days find myself on a balance beam. Without a gymnast ability. I am definitely not Mary Jo. My beam is so much more treacherous.

My beam is Bridget.

I walk the beam of Bridget being Independent versus State benefits.

I walk the beam of getting services at school versus being pissed that they are not listening to me.

I walk the beam writing my will, knowing that means Abby will be responsible for caring for her sister.

I walk the beam of biting my tongue when friends and family say, I don’t know how you do it and wanting to educate them on how they could help me.

I walk the beam of holding my shit sanity and keeping the peace.

I walk the beam of keeping our family “us” centered and not Bridget focused.

I walk the beam of being a wife and a mom.

I walk the beam of finding me time without being selfish or resentful.

I walk the beam of being patient while Bridget does things in her time, rather than rushing her to get where I think we need to get.

I walk the beam of figuring out when to hold Bridget to the same standard I hold her sister.

I walk the beam…

Somedays I am more successful than others, at keeping my balance.  Lately I’ve been doing better, but I am walking the beam.

How are you walking?

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