The Year was 2016

This year was a year of tremendous change and (quite honestly) courage. I haven’t been able to blog as much as I used to, barely managing this chaos I call life has impacted my creativity.   In January of 2016, I only wrote once due to school committee commitments. Throughout 2016 I blogged sporadically, and I am thankful to all those who have continued to read, to share and to be a part of my village.

I have continued to blog about the important things in life. Learning to fly and learning to let go. If we were having a glass of wine…..

If we were sharing a glass of wine in January, I would ask why the hell we signed up to run a mile every day in January.

If we were sharing a glass of wine in February, I would thank you for teaching me how to fly out of my comfort zone and into the air. I would still laugh over that stupid science project that “Abby” did (yeah, right) and David’s reaction to it.  We still have that stupid simple machine in our basement. I’m not sure if it is for prosperity or for the ultimate bonfire when the Elf is in residence.

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If we were sharing a glass of wine in March, I would remember fondly that day I blinked and my girl child sat in the front seat and changed the radio channel.  I would thank you for standing steadfastly with me against the R-word. We would agree that changing jobs was actually scarier than facing one of Bridget’s maladies but worth it in every way.

 

If we were sharing a glass of wine in April, I would tell you I have forgiven you for breaking up with me. I am also glad we still have pancakes.

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If we were sharing a glass of wine in May, I would tell you how thankful I was for Facebook reconnecting me with PACS1 families and long-lost cousins. I would cry with you over my failed attempt to have Bridget be the next Mia Hamm and you would make me laugh when you reminded me that living with Bridget was like living with groundhog day. Just when you think she has conquered the beach…you take her to the beach forgetting about the wind.

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If we were sharing a glass of wine in June, I would thank you for going on a blind date with me. Meeting a PACS1 family in the flesh was beyond awesome and solidified the Facebook bond. I would tell you about our trip to Great Wolf Lodge and how the little things, like my child being able to enjoy a story means more than I can ever explain.

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If we were sharing a glass of wine in July, I would remind you that for every action there is a reaction. For every time you feel you mean nothing in this world there is a ripple across the pond to someone who can change your life (in a good way).

If we were sharing a glass of wine in August, I would tell you that August is my favorite month. My camping family month where Bridget is accepted for who she is and Abby is the girl she would be if Bridget wasn’t her sister (sad but true) and allowed to be a child just enjoying the moment. I would thank you for including us, for being our fire family and for just being awesome.

If we were sharing a glass of wine in September, I would tell you how afraid I was of first grade and junior high school. That I unwillingly became a helicopter parent to the older child and placed my faith the younger child’s teacher that she would fulfill her promise of inclusion. I would tell you that it is okay to lose it and scream out loud because sometimes life isn’t fair and it just sucks.

If we were sharing a glass of wine in October, I would share (without shame) what a meltdown looks like and acknowledge that Bridget’s meltdown is so mild compared to most children who have special needs. I would tell you that October simply sucked and if it wasn’t for you I probably would not have survived it with my sense of humor intact.

If we were sharing a glass of wine in November, I would remind you that I secured best wife EVER status. I would tell you not to ask a friend in need what she needs, but be THERE in the moment and do what you can do. I would remind you that we did not end up where we planned, but in all honesty no one really does. Think about it, how many people are using the college degrees in their current career?

If we were sharing a glass of wine at the end of December, I would tell you it has been a heck of a year. I would thank you for being there every step of the way, easing my burden and allowing me (I hope) to ease yours.

I hope that we raise a glass and sip together in 2017. Thank you for being an integral part of my life.

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I’m okay with imperfect holidays

I used to be the Clark Griswold of Christmas. I decorated every room in the house. I put ribbons, bows and labels on gifts. One year each member of the family had their own individual wrapping paper. I was the hostess with the mostess, a caterer could not put on a better meal.  I knew exactly what I was getting everyone and planned out the holiday season to the moment. Each gift was chosen with thought and care. There was a time when I would shop throughout the year and remember where I put the gifts. Continue reading

When First Grade is more

I understand it has only been half a year. However I want to go on record (and brag) that the combination of Bridget’s special education teacher and (epic) first grade teacher is more than I could ever had hoped. The first grade teacher not only understands inclusion, she “gets” that Bridget isn’t the class pet there to give hugs but to be a part of her classroom. Though Bridget’s hugs are a hot commodity. Continue reading

It should be over, right?

Well it finally happened. Not only do I have a teenager on my hands, she is finally a non-believer. I know most parents are probably crushed when their child no longer believes in Santa. Let’s be honest, it is the best freaking part of them being a teen. Probably the only good thing.

I might be dealing with eye rolls, emerging hormones and teenage angst but … Continue reading

I’m thankful for more than wine

If we were sharing a glass of wine, I would tell you I am so very thankful…

I’m thankful that it has been over a year since Bridget’s hospitalization.

I’m thankful for the teachers who continue to be innovative, patient and kind in how they teach both my girls.

I’m thankful for the friends that live through the woods who are up for a last minute dinner (and better yet, provide it!).

I’m thankful for pancake breakfasts and late night texts. Continue reading

Don’t ask what you can do…just do

Have you seen this Facebook post?

Everyone says: ” If you need anything, don’t hesitate, I’ll be there for you “… so I’m going to make a bet (with being optimistic), I’m asking my ” you can count on me friends ” to put this on their wall. You just have to copy (not share). I think I know who I can count on… and I’m sure it will be less than 20!! Write “done” in comments when you’re done. It’s mental illness awareness month and I’ve done this for a friend… I pride myself on being there for my true friends. Continue reading

When this week is better than last

When this week is better than last, it is time to share a glass of wine.

If we were sharing a glass of wine, I would tell you how awesome it is that we decided years ago to give to charity rather than one another on our birthdays. Your birthday present was to feed a child on the weekends. I hope you had a wonderful birthday and am thankful that you and I agree that giving is better than receiving. Continue reading

When you don’t land where you planned

When you first enter a Children’s hospital, scared out of your wits, most likely you will see a plaque or a friend will send you the link to read the poem, Welcome to Holland by Emily Perl Kingsley. You find solace, at first. Knowing that another parent understood how you are feeling at this moment. At this moment when your child is not the one you planned but the one you must make heartbreaking decisions.  You prepared for one journey and ended up not even close to where you planned. Continue reading

I think Bridget needs some clarification

Bridget’s class has been working on feelings. I think it is great, I hope it will minimize her frustration level when she can tell us how she is feeling. It will be wonderful when she will be able to tell how her sister, her peers and those in her life are feeling.

I also think she is a tad confused.

At her latest ER visit the nurse asked Bridget how she was feeling: “Happy”.

I tripped and face planted (not out of the ordinary), Bridget: Mom is happy.

Abby had the throw up bug. Bridget asked, “Abby happy?”. I said no she is sick. Bridget: sick happy.

On the upside she is happy.

I’m not going to teach her disappointed.