The Sibling

I once had “the talk” with Abby. No, not THE TALK. The online world talk. She (like her dad) thinks the internet is the devil and has no wish to be on the social media world some of us call life.

Now I am breaking the rules we set, because it is important. Also she is not online so she will never know,right? Continue reading

Lose it and scream

The other day, I received an e-mail from a reader that read:

One day, as soon as my husband got home from work, I loaded up and drove to the park to read a book. I had to get away. I know it wasn’t my son’s fault he was pushing my buttons but I had to get away before I lost it and screamed at everyone.

I could have written that paragraph. I am sure my husband, after a long day with Bridget could have written that paragraph. I also know that if I did not know this reader’s backstory the above paragraph could have been written by any parent. This feeling of having to “get away” is not necessarily because her child has autism. It’s because he is a child and sometimes a child’s favorite past time is pushing their parent to their breaking point. Continue reading

It’s not my fault

It’s not my fault. I swear that I am to blame for many things. I admit to the fact that my personality, viewpoints and beliefs have changed since becoming a parent.  I am definitely more vigilant. Until today I have never tiptoed over the line that separates the typical parents from those that hover.  Until today when I became a helicopter mom. Continue reading

Forgetting

Life has been a little chaotic lately. Okay, life has been a lot of chaos. Being a little stressed has made me a little forgetful.  So consumed with open house, I forgot that our house was out of milk. Worrying about juggling two jobs, I forgot that some of us in the house were out of underwear. I made cookies and forgot to put the eggs in them. Continue reading

It’s wine time…

If we were having a glass of wine, I would thank you for meeting me for dinner. I cannot believe it has been more than 30 years since we last had a one-on-one. I cannot believe that we are old enough to have a “30 years ago” conversation. But I am so very happy that 30 years ago was a blink of the eye and a ripple of time. I promise it won’t be another 30 years before we are in one another’s life again.

If we were having a glass of wine, I would tell you that my freaking body hurts. My half-marathon is a month away and my body is telling me I am too old for this running thing. My bedroom smells like BenGay and let’s just admit that smelling like your dead grandmother is not a good thing. Continue reading

Open House

Tonight is Open House at Bridget’s school. There have been other open houses, but like field trips I have always avoided them.  It never made sense, really, to go. After all Bridget spent most of her time in the special education classroom. I had such open communication that I did not feel the need to attend open house.  My feeling was that Bridget was the class pet. She came in for a few moments, like a puppy, gave hugs and went back to the special education room when “learning” was happening within the classroom.

It made somewhat sense, at the time. Bridget needed the directed lessons. Bridget cannot write her name, add or recite the alphabet. She is probably a distraction and as she is not learning in the traditional classroom the argument could be made that she be in the special education room. It worked, Bridget’s language exploded and she learned to read sight words.

Hard to argue with success. Continue reading

If only you could unhear

“What’s wrong with her”

“Why is she hitting her head”

“It’s not like she understands”

“I could never do what you do”

“Isn’t she too old to be carried”

“It takes a special mom to have a special child”

“She will grow out of it”

Benign phrases, really. On the face value, they are not hurtful. They do not cause pain. They could even be said out of kindness.

Here’s a hint: Don’t ever say them to a mom of a child who has special needs.

Even if you are family. Continue reading

Thank you….

If we were having a glass of wine, I would tell you THANK YOU. Thank you for calling me and giving me an hour where I laughed as we compared how our girls drive us crazy. I would tell you that somehow, someway, we would meet in person someday. Even if it means I drive across the country.

If we were having a glass of wine, I would tell you that the whole balance my life thing isn’t quite working out. Continue reading