Remember when Spring Break was bikini’s, beach, drinks, sun and fun? Yeah, me neither. Going to college in your 30’s makes Spring Break very different than when you are barely 21. 

It’s even more surreal when you are old, gray and traveling with children.



The upside is there is no hangover, no worry that there will be a picture of you dancing on the bar and no fear that you woke up next to a serial killer.

Instead you wake up with a child drooling down your neck while your husband hangs on to his 1/4″ of the bed the other child is trying to knock him off of.

Another upside is you stay in your parent’s spare room so you save a boatload of money. They house you, feed you, supply you with the alcohol they once banned and bonus watch your children!

They also take you for pedicures

Let you make wine:

You can cheer your older sister on while she crashes your father into strangers:

You prove you are never too old to hunt for Easter Eggs

You have some Tea with Grandma

You ride some horses

You take your first selfie on the big girl swings

You dance on stage

Then you settle in for the long ride home

Like I said, it is very different than Spring Break is very different than how it used to be. But it sure was fun!

When your child is born you are overcome with a lot of emotions. Then you get home and realize that you misplaced that instruction manual handed out to all new mothers.  Never fear, help is here!

Truth is, that “what to expect” is a bunch of bull crap. Here for you is the the real story of what to expect.
1. Don’t try to get the gum/lollipop/sticky thing out of your child’s hair. The more you try to remove it the more intwined it will become. Instead, cut around it and tell the preschool teacher that your sweet little thing got a hold of some safety scissors. 

2. You will never sleep again. Just when you get the baby to sleep through the night you will realize that you were the one in training. You will learn to rest like a combat soldier. Deep sleep one minute, the next wide awake realizing that your child is asleep. Around age 8 you will begin to sleep more soundly. Then they become teenagers and you start all over again. Remember those naps your mom told you to take? This is her revenge.

3. Speaking of grandparents. Sure they seem all benign and loving. That’s how they trick you. When they were your parents you had to make your bed, eat your veggies and clean your room. As grandparents they will take your child, give them sugar and toys that make noise. Then they send them home. Thus ensuring #2 

4. Your child will eventually be potty trained. Honestly, no child graduates high school with a diaper unless there is a medical need. Give yourself a break. You are doing fine. It is easier to train your husband to put the seat down then to explain bowel functions to a toddler.

5. Kids come with homework. Not the homework you might recall. But math homework you will have to Google to figure out how to answer the math problem they way they are supposed to. 

6. You will know, by heart, the words to every song on the Disney channel or movie. You will not know one person up for a Grammy, an Oscar or a Tony.

7. Phrases you never expected will come out of your mouth. For example, no you cannot tickle my butt or let me shut the windows so I can scream at you without the neighbors calling the cops.

8. Pre-child you thought multitasking was taking a call at work, while answering an e-mail and texting your girlfriends. You will soon learn the true art of multitasking: Going to the bathroom in a public restroom while holding your foot on the door so one child cannot escape while the other sits on your lap.

9. Your child will embarrass you. Seriously embarrass you. They will say inappropriate things (in and out of public), they will dress funny and they will one day tell the teacher: My mom had popcorn for dinner last night but made me eat all of my baked beans.

And the last gem, courtesy of Abby….

10. Babies are not fun. But 10 year-olds are so hang in there.

March Madness, forget College Basketball. Dudes the Bruins were on! In all seriousness the month of March was incredible for me. And a bit ‘mad’ as in crazy busy but for something important.

I joined a fantastic group of people at Abby’s school and created Special Needs Awareness Month.
The program happened because of Abby. We were at a therapy appointment of Boo’s and she saw a classmate. She told me that she never realized XX was special needs. She wish she had known because she would have helped him more. I was shocked. How could this child who lives with a special needs sibling not see the uniqueness of a classmate?

Thus an initiative was born. Working with teachers, parents and administrators at Abby’s school we created a month-long, school-wide event. It was a simple concept:

Each week we had conversation starters, activities, videos and books for the classrooms to use. Every class, kindergarten to grade 8, participated. Every discipline, gym to library to music to art added to the program.

Week One focused on the children’s definition of challenge: something that is hard for you to do without help. We had pictures of celebrities with disabilities (the girls swooned over Justin Timberlake–ADD and Orlando Bloom–dyslexia). 

So what is it? What is something hard for you to do? 

The response was heartwarming to heartbreaking: It’s hard for me to catch frogs to I spend a lot of time in the hospital.

Each week the program grew. And you know what? It worked. The school nurse during W3/Down Syndrome week ended up sharing a story about her favorite cousin. With the entire school. Children went home and talked to their parents about empathy and those with special needs. They saw the video Just Like You and understood that friendships are built on love not need.

We had each student write down their challenge and hung them in school entrance. A teacher walked by, read a few and said, “These are all my challenges”. We all have trouble making friends, speaking in public, doing math homework. Some of our challenges are more difficult: being in the hospital, having asthma when you want to run, losing a parent, having dyslexia.

A young boy expressed that he wasn’t afraid to say he had ADD. Today. I pray for his tomorrow.

My friend, Kristi, recently asked how to create a world of empathy and understanding. A world where we wouldn’t have to worry about her beautiful son or my Boo being bullied because they are not typical. 

It starts with you. And me. And our children. Integration means that your typical child will become friends with Boo or Tucker or Kayla or Little Dude. They become friends with children who are not typical but have something extra. Children’s ideals are formed at such a young age. They see friends where parents see ability.  

Like the video says, understanding leads to acceptance. By having open dialogue with students and their challenges our school tried to create a small epicenter of tolerance, acceptance and peace.

How about you? What’s your challenge? 

I urge each and every one of you to begin seeing the ability in a child and not the disability. If anyone would like to implement this in your school please e-mail me at firebailey@gmail.com and I will send you our program.

It wasn’t easy….I am sure we will rethink this decision over and over again. We had no choice, really. We thought that we would decide in May if Boo would transition to Kindergarten. But the deadline was mid-March.

Boo has been in this integrated preschool since she was three years old. We love her teachers. And when I say love I do not mean the way you love chocolate but the way you love your God. They have been patient, kind, loving and words cannot explain the feelings we have for them. They have guided us, provided ideas and shown up when we needed them. 

I was afraid to leave them for kindergarten. Their security. Their understanding of Boo. Their acceptance of my limitations. They understand that Abby does Boo’s homework. They get that I cannot handle field trips. Or that work interferes with Nursery Rhyme day.

That her dad will show up in his hunting regalia.

Kindergarten? That is a huge step for us. We want Boo to transition with her peers. This is the first year she has been invited to birthday parties. She has always been accepted, don’t misunderstand, by her peers. But this was the first year she was came home telling me she played with someone other than her therapist.

I want her to go forward. To transition. To be normal. Freaking normal going to kindergarten on schedule. To have gym and art and library. To have lunch in cafeteria. To be with her age-peers.

But she isn’t ready. I know it. I swear I know it. But…

She is being left behind. Again. Only two classmate of hers will be there in the fall. And, no offense, they are boys. They are not little girls who understand the importance of Princess Sophia. We will have to begin again with the parents who know Boo. Who do not get that she is petite and 2 years older than their child.

There are only upsides to Boo being left behind. She will have more time to learn her colors, numbers and letters. She know the routine and is comfortable. Her teachers encourage her growth in all areas. It is more just me realizing that, once again, Boo isn’t ready to move forward. 

I spoke with her pre-K teacher who told me that Boo will be with her until she retires.

I’m kind of okay with that. Because who wouldn’t want their child to be with the teacher who loves and nurtures them?