Tag Archives: friends

Not my kid

My kid would never…
My kid is “everybody’s” friend…
My kid is never mean…
My kid was provoked.

Let’s be honest, there is always going to be kids that are mean, there will always be “cliques”. There will always be the kid that doesn’t fit in and will be picked on.

We always hope it won’t be ours. If it is mine, I want to know.  Continue reading

For the uninitiated, this is what it looks like

I’m going to feel all lapsed-Catholic guilt for admitting this, but I sometimes despise this life. I hate that I don’t understand my own child. I despair that by my own actions I am the trigger to her crisis. I freaking loathe that this behavior doesn’t happen at school but only at home (see trigger comment).  I despise that I cannot calm her, I cannot reason with her, I cannot even give in to her because if I do this will not be a daily occurrence but an hourly one.

For the uninitiated, this is what a meltdown looks like. Continue reading

Mirror, Mirror on my wall

I am not a fan of the mirror.

When I look into at the image the mirror, I see Rosannadanna hair and a face only Cher would love in the movie Mask. I see the long front teeth that got me nicknamed “bucky” by a vengeful cousin in JR High. I used to hate going into the bathroom that said “Bucky was here” where a chunk of the counter was chipped. Continue reading

It’s wine o’clock

If we were having a glass of wine…

I would tell you that I am freaking exhausted, after being up with a sick Bridget all night. I would say she is feeling better now, that I am sure it was just a 24 hour bug. I would confide in you that every time she gets sick I worry that we are going to be hospitalized. It makes me more cautious, cancelling school and therapy appointments. I would also joke that she must realize I am going away tomorrow night. She tends to get sick right before I have leave.

I would tell you how excited I am about Friday night. When I am meeting 11 of my village members for dinner, a night in a hotel followed by rolling around in the mud on Saturday. That somehow I convinced 10 other women to join me at Mudderella New England on Saturday. I would laugh when you remind me that there is a hurricane scheduled for this weekend. I would tell you we are already planning on getting muddy, what’s a little wind?

I would tell you how thankful I am that I can call a friend at 8am just to say men suck for Christ’s Sake! You would say, of course they do but I have to drop my boy that sucks off at school so let’s chat in an hour.

I would tell you how I was convinced to sign up for a half-marathon. You would remind me that it was on my 2015 bucket list. I ran six miles over the weekend, my thighs are freaking killing me. I didn’t realize when I signed up how long it will actually take to finish.  Who the hell wants to run for over two hours, I would ask. You would snort your wine and say obviously someone who wasn’t thinking clearly.

I would tell you I did one whole day of healthy eating. Forsaking M&M’s and any processed food. I had cereal, a protein shake (and it didn’t kill me) and a healthy salad.  I would confess that lasted until about 1pm when the lure of M&Ms overpowered my will power. I did try, I would say as we snacked on chips & salsa.

I would tell you that Fall can kiss my flip flops.

I would tell you that I was better at healthy eating than I was at giving up Facebook.  I need to take a hiatus but, like Micheal Corleone it keeps pulling me back in.

I would explain that the screaming you heard coming out of my house was over homework. I firmly believe that homework has become teacher’s revenge for having to deal with children all day. We would laugh when I said the only upside of Fall is that the windows will be closed and you will no longer have to hear me screaming JUST FOLLOW THE FREAKING INSTRUCTIONS.

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We would open another bottle and I would ask how your week was….

Feeling Powerful (it might be the puff paint)

Last weekend  we created t-shirts for our upcoming Mudderella event next week. Yes, I did arts and crafts. I wanted to order them online, I was convinced this would be “fun”.  At least no one was injured. Then came the puff paint. I shuddered.  As I was instructed on the power of puff paint the fumes got to us and we wrote: PUFF POWER.

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Abby told us the puff would give us what we needed to get through the obstacle course. Which led to the question: if you could have a superpower what would it be? Continue reading

Want to change the world? Make it personal

Warning…I’m on a bit of a soapbox.

I just finished reading a book about WW2 (Escape from Davao). A quote from the book resonated in me as it applies to everything: Natural and man-made disasters, the horrors of the news, the treatment of our elderly, 9/11, Ferguson, police being killed, domestic violence, the drug war and (insert horrendous thing here). I honestly think words from 1944 are still true. Until it becomes personal,until we understand that WE must feel we cannot win.

“We’ve got to have the nature of this war drilled into us Day after day before we sense the whole horror of it, the demands of it, the danger if it….This War has not yet become personal with us…But if we hear the truth day by day … We’ll silence the babble, sober the feather-minded and fight like hell” (Palmer Hoyt page 332)

Continue reading

If we were having a glass of wine…

If we were having a glass of wine I would tell you…

That tomorrow is the “big” day. Bridget starts kindergarten. I would tell you that I spoke with both her SPED teacher and her kindergarten teacher. Both women are kind, generous with their time and willing to collaborate with me to make Bridget as safe as possible. I’m still scared as hell. I’m also hopeful that my friend, Dana, is right and in 3 months I will be telling you I was worried for no valid reason. Continue reading

Don’t be scared

We have all been there. You go to Back to School night and see the PTA table and quickly run past. Do not make eye contact you say to yourself. You don’t have time. You are not one of “them”. Those stay at home moms who cannot just let their kid go to school and be independent. You maybe go to one or two events a year. You may feel guilty enough to pay the $10 membership fee. You want to support the kids so you write the check grateful you got out easy.

I was once like you.

I feared the PTA. Continue reading

If we were having a glass of wine…

A fellow blogger, Jamie, did a recent post entitled “if we were having coffee”, what would she say to the person across the table. I thought it was a great idea, but I don’t drink coffee. Thus the change in title.

If we were having a glass of wine I would tell you about the hectic weekend we had moving my parents moving from Virginia to our home. That we left at 3am on Friday for Logan airport, flew down and packed up her house. That we left VA at noon on Saturday and everyone in the free world was on Route 95 so it took us until 4am to get home. That it was only possible to do her move because we have a great village of supporters who took care of the girls, the bunnies and the Bailey. How much I appreciate the gift of friendship and families. How glad I am that both our parents will be in close location of their granddaughters and the positive changes happening in their lives.

If we were having a glass of wine I would tell you how I seem to be on a World War II reading binge. In the past month I have read The Nightingale, Unbroken, The Heart of a Soldier, I Lived a Thousand Years: Growing Up in the Holocaust and am just beginning Escape from Davao. I would ask if you had any recommendations for maybe a lighter read.

If we were having a glass of wine I would tell you how excited I was to be leaving in a few days to go camping with our friends. Our annual retreat where there is no WI/FI or cell service. The one week a year where we completely unplug from the world. How we were looking forward to floating down the river, campfires and community meals. That I would be using this time to hopefully break the Facebook obsession that is taking too much time away from actually living life.

If we were having a glass of wine I would tell you how I am currently failing in my running goals but that I hope to get back up to speed and dedication soon.

If we were having a glass of wine I would tell you how I feel the summer is slipping by faster than I can breathe. That while we have traveled and taken vacations it seems like September is coming faster than expected.

If we were having a glass of wine I would tell how nervous I am about all I have taken on recently. That I am worried I am doing too much, yet not enough. I would ask you where you thought I could extradite myself from or how to manage my commitments better.

If we were having a glass of wine I would tell you about how David has been working too much and we recently had a conversation based on the Zac Brown song, Free. How that someday we want that life. The one where it is just him and I in a van traveling the country. How before marriage, “real” jobs and family we would put the tent and dog in the car destination unknown. That we want to get back to that feeling of just being us, no qualifiers. That I miss that connection of my husband and yet am thankful that after all these years we still wake up and want to be there for the other.

If we were having a glass of wine I would ask how your week was and what was new with you.

So tell me, how are you?

My Best Friend Bridget

It finally happened. Bridget was invited over for her first ever official play date. A girl she went to school with last year had moved onto kindergarten without Bridget. Although “A” made new friends in kindergarten she never forgot her first “best friend” Bridget. She invited us to birthday parties and other events.

This would be the first time I would be just dropping off Bridget and going to work. In full disclosure, the mom is a trusted ESP who knows Bridget inside and out. I probably would not have been comfortable otherwise. Nervous, though, when I heard other neighborhood girls might be over to play.

Will they understand Bridget? I wondered. What if her friend is embarrassed or doesn’t want to play with her when her friends arrive? I worried.

For nothing. While I was at work worried that Bridget would not be accepted this happened:

She also played tea party, play dough (a substance banned from my house), painted and played. Bridget spun on the gymnastics bar and tried to do a cartwheel. She had snack and watched Sofia with the girls. She played Legos and colored.  Bridget played for hours with children her actual, not developmental, age and older then her.  It wasn’t noticed by any of the children that she was different than them.

My heart got three sizes too large as the text updates came in.

To “repay” our friend we had them over for dinner the following night. I watched as “A” interacted with Bridget. How she slowed down for her without realizing or explained how to play with the Barbie. I thought this is how it will be for Bridget. All her hard work, the therapies, the schooling will enable her to forge friendships. The typical peers will accept her for who she is and she will be included in their lives. Not because they have to, because they like Bridget.

Then “A” called Bridget a weirdo.

Here’s the thing though, Bridget was acting silly. “A” wasn’t being mean at all. She was laughing and treating Bridget just like she would any of her other friends. She called her on her silly behavior. When her mom (horrified) went to explain that “weirdo” wasn’t a nice word, “A” replied: it’s my best friend Bridget. I would never hurt her, she was just being silly and we were laughing.  I felt bad, honestly. I had overheard the exchange and knew “A” didn’t mean any harm. She was just laughing with her friend. Yet thankful that my friend had overheard as well and used the moment to make sure that harmful words would not used to describe my child.

Sometimes a word is just a word but it serves as a learning moment for a little girl who just repeated a term she used in school.

One word she will now defend her best friend Bridget against.

Her Best Friend Bridget