Throw back post…

Originally posted on 4/3/17

A parent walks into the store, dragging her child kicking and screaming as other shoppers look on.  A sibling walks into the store and says, “next time I will babysit so you can try to get the shopping done”.

A parent answers, “What time is it” for the 500th time with patience that is waning. A sibling tries to redirect the looping by distracting them with Disney Jr.

A parent tells her other child that they cannot attend the school play, because their sibling cannot handle the lights and sounds. A sibling whispers they understand while their heart is breaking. Continue reading

When we fail Bridget

This week we are starting at home services. It kind of scares me, because (honestly) you feel judged. I remember when we had Early Intervention Services. The mad cleaning before the nurse arrived. That was hard enough. But now we are bringing someone in to help us with Bridget’s behaviors.  Her compliance.

Because we are messing it up.  Continue reading

Refer a friend

Thanks to a referral of a reader, in September 2014 we received the long awaited answer to Bridgetitis.  It took five years, countless tears and traveling 18 hours by car. The visit was not covered by insurance (thankfully the genetic testing was) and we worked a lot of overtime to afford the expense.

It should not have been that difficult to find the diagnosis. The science was there, the accessibility to that science was not. Continue reading

When your kid turns out imperfect

In some ways we were lucky.  We knew at day 1 (even tho the nurses didn’t believe us) that something was wrong with Bridget.  Which sounds awful. Because Bridget isn’t “wrong” but she definitely had unexpected issues.

But what happens when you have a happy life and then BAM life kicks your ass? Continue reading

Throw back post from 2014

This is kind of a Jen Kehl type of post but I hope everyone bears with me. I listen to Pandora at work. This means music goes from Eminem to the Drop Kick Murphys to the Glee Soundtrack.  The other day right after I heard a song by Eminem the music transitioned to Christina Perry’s A Thousand Years (theme from Twilight).

It was the instrumental version so I did not have the singer’s voice, just the one in my head. It occurred to me that the song while about true love, to me is about parenthood.

“The day we met, Frozen I held my breath. Right from the start I knew I had found a place for my heart…”

With each girl I literally held my breath when I first held them. I was so afraid I would break them. But I knew in that instant I had found my home. One where I would always be warm and loved.

“Time stands still. Beauty in all she (he) is…I will not let anything take away what’s standing in front of me…”

Time does stand still. It also goes faster than a heartbeat. But there are moments of parenthood where you are lucky to see for the rest of your life. Their first step, their first smile (for real, not the gassy one). The day they drive the car for the first time. The moment they find their true love. No matter how many times you hear “MOOOOMMMMM” and wish they had a mute button. It will erase the moment you heard them say momma the first time.

“And all along I believed I would find you. Time has brought your heart to me. I have loved you a thousand years. I will love you a thousand more”

Children don’t understand. I know I did not understand the depths of my parent’s love until I had my own. Time might march on. We are only “here” for a short time. But love transcends time. It transcends distance. You can have a child half-way around the world and yet your love reaches them.

Your child might be non-verbal. They might be in the midst of an epileptic seizure. They might just be being a pain in the butt teenager. Yet they feel your love.

For a thousand years you get to feel theirs right back at you.

And that is how deep I got into A Thousand Years until Men in Hats came on. So everyone grab your child and do the Safety Dance