A little self-care goes a long way

I am horrible at self-care.

With my eldest away at college, I am very aware of how much I took advantage of her being here. Wait, that sounds bad. I did not really take advantage, more I was spoiled by her willingness to hang out with Bridget while I went for a walk, a night out or even just running to the grocery store without Bridget tagging along.

I am extraordinarily lucky that while my friend’s children are grown and have either left the nest or are fully independent, my friends understand that 99% of the time, if they see me that I will have Bridget with me.

I am also lucky that while her dad is as joined at my hip as Bridget is, he does get that once in a while I need a mommy-time-out.

It is my own fault that I have self-isolated…which brings me to how I have also neglected my own self-care. Not just by putting family and work first. Not by not prioritizing myself. But I think I might have had a little (gasp) depression over the past year. Those who know me, know I just threw up in my mouth a little bit by not only writing it out but acknowledging I may not always be able to pick myself up by my big girl panties and suck it the fuck up.

If not depressed, I definitely allowed myself to get “old” over the past year. I’ve gained weight. I am not maintaining my nutrition and balancing the snacks like a 50+ woman should. Instead, I am acting still maintaining the diet of my 16-year-old self with access to my parent’s liquor cabinet! I have not truly exercised (other than walks that become shorter and shorter) this past year. Me, the woman in her 40’s that was running obstacle races probably could not jump rope in her 50’s.

Somewhere along the way, I decided my gray hair was fine. That it was natural. After all, I haven’t worn makeup since it was forced upon me at my wedding 29 years ago. I have historically been a woman that is low maintenance, just some wet hair and some hair gel and I am ready to go. I even started cutting my own hair over the last year (something those of us with curls can get away with!).

Then I saw this photo of me.

Holy crap, I got old.

And not in a graceful, Betty White way.

So the other night, I took some time for some long overdue self-care. I went to an adult salon, not a chain.

Thankfully the stylist not only took mercy on me but guided me away from looking like Elvira and inadvertently signing up to a hair commitment I could never keep. Three hours later I went from this to that.