Category Archives: developmental delay

Dear Abby

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Dear Abby,

When I had you I was terrified. The hospital nurses actually wrote, failure to bond in our chart. I was so sure I was going to fail you. Or worse, hurt you. You were an emergency c-section because (and I quote a doctor here) my body wasn’t meant to survive childbirth. I thought that meant I wasn’t supposed to be a mom.

In all honesty you were all I needed. You taught me how to be a mom. Not a perfect mom by any means. I did not think I had the love, patience or endurance for another child. You wanted a little sister so badly. You even had an imaginary friend whose name was simply “imaginary baby sister”. 

Then there was Boo. From the beginning you at just five years old were my rock. You, my dear sweet child, showed me that I was strong enough to handle two daughters. You, my sarcastic truth-teller were there to keep things in perspective. You, my great educator taught others how to care for Boo. 

The time you told Dawn that Boo couldn’t have peanut butter because she was allergic to dairy. The time you told a teacher that Boo was perfect, she was just in the hospital. When you taught a friend that being having a sister with a “funny pattern in her brain” just means that your sister takes a little longer to learn things. The countless times you practiced “I LOVE YOU” with Boo never knowing that is my secret desire for her to tell us she loves us.

You, Abby, are my hero. I wish I had your grace, your patience and your sense of self. You are confident in ways I can only strive to be at 40+ years. Your imagination astounds me. You are so brave, trying things that would normally terrify me. You are your father in the ways that make me love him. And in the ways that make me want to strangle him. You have an old-world soul mixed with a new-world outlook on life. You are me in the ways you are picky about eating food and in the way your sense of humor aligns with my own. You are so beautiful in your smile, your laughter and yes, your sarcasm. 

On Saturday morning, I awoke exhausted. I lay in bed and listened to Boo over the monitor at 6:30 am. She was gleefully calling your name. As I got out pretended to get out of bed to get her I heard another voice. Yours. You entered her room and quietly said, “I’m here”. You then proceeded to take her out to the living room. You got her IPAD and gave me another hour of semi-rest. You got her muffins and only called to me when her diaper exploded.

Mom I’ll do a lot of things but I won’t take care of that!

That afternoon you received your first phone call from a classmate. You went on your first ever sleep over where I did not know the parent. I didn’t sleep that night for another reason. I was worried of course. But also marveling over how quickly a decade has gone by. How the little baby I was terrified of now completes my heart in a way I never imagined. The house is empty without your presence. I am astounded by how you have grown into such a sweet young girl soon to be tween. The excitement in your voice when you called to say good night. This is the girl you would be, maybe, if you didn’t have to tailor your life to your sister. Not that you complain, ever. But I promise you, I know the sacrifices you make for Boo. That you cannot join girl scouts, after school activities or miss birthday parties because we have Boo-centered appointments.

So thank you, my sweet Abigail. For being you. For giving me an extra hour of dozing. For giving me peace. For sharing your dreams. For giving Boo your unquestioning love. For just being your awesome self.  

Keep living the dream, my Abby. When you obtain world domination this world will be a better place. I simply cannot wait to see the woman you will become.

Love, 
Mom

PS you are still not getting a pony

Will my child cause your favorite teacher to be laid off?

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Last week there was an article in our local paper titled, “Special Education costs blamed for (school) layoffs“. Lucky for Boo this is not her school we are talking about. However it struck a chord. Why must we pit one against another?

Our town is small. We do not have many businesses therefore the tax burden rests on the property owners. Frequently we see battles pitting the school department against the municipal side of the budget. This is the first time, to my recollection that we are putting students (and their needs) against one another.

I am extraordinarily grateful that this article was not about our town. Yet I live with a fear that it will be soon and we should explore ways to avoid it at all costs.  


Probably because this is the first time I have had a child in the “special education” cohort of the school system.

Which is not quite true. My older daughter goes three mornings a week for extra help in math. She has gone to summer school for math assistance. This is the only subject she struggles in and the school (and tax payers) have supported her needs. I am sure it is for the care they show all students and also to increase the MCAS standing of the school. A quid pro quo, if you will.

Boo on the other hand is a different situation. Boo brings tremendous value to her classroom. Her classmates will grow to be more empathetic, understanding of another’s needs and more accepting of their peers. Inclusion means that while Boo is exposed to peers for advancement while she advances their sense of community. 

But she is a drain on the school system. Boo receives physical, occupational and speech therapy from the school system (which in my opinion should be the responsibility of our insurance company to pay). She has a dedicated 1:1 therapist that is with her during the school day. This is for Boo’s safety (she wanders) and to make sure she can participate in class activities. That is, after all, the purpose of inclusion: to have Boo participate. Without the aide she simply cannot. 

Due to the layoffs, that other school system has modified some 1:1 care. Now a therapist will have 2 (or more) children under their responsibility. Let me explain why that is an impossible task to give that staff member. Logistically it is difficult. If you take your two children to the playground you know they will not leave. If a therapist takes Boo and her other charge, she cannot have Boo on the slide and the other child on the swing. How can she make sure both are safe? What if one has to use the bathroom? 

Education-wise it is still ill-advised. The therapist sits at a table with Boo and reviews counting. If she has another charge, how can the children and the therapist concentrate and make sure the program is run correctly and with consistency? Just as a teacher with 30 students in a class cannot make sure every child understands the Vietnam War, a special needs therapist cannot split their attention equally with more than one child and be confident they are getting the most out of the child. Having another child is a distraction for all.

But who should pay? That is really the question and you are probably not going to like my answer.

I believe the parent should pay for some of the care and education. It is our child and our responsibility. However we cannot. We simply do not have the money to pay. Just as the town budget is stretched a parent of a special needs child is under a financial burden unlike no other.  Our medical bills are higher, we pay out of pocket for supplemental insurance and at age 5 we are still purchasing diapers, wipes and pull-ups. Due to the amount of physician and therapy appointments we also cannot work 40 hour work-weeks. A family with a special needs child budgets in ways you never imagined. It is constricting and inventive.

Here is where I will again anger many. I also think that the tax payers should not have to pay for music, sports, clubs or electives. English, foreign language, history, math, science? Yes. That is education. But electives, including music and art, should be the responsibility of the parent to pay. Those electives are also a drain on the school system. There are pensions, salaries and healthcare costs associated with those staff members just as the special education staff. 

There are a lot more students taking electives than using the special education department. 

I am not sure of the answer. I do believe that we should pay a portion of Boo’s care. I firmly believe that our insurance company should have to pay for her therapies that happen in school, including her ABA therapies. I think some sliding scale should be in place to take some portion of the expense off the community.

However, if I am going to pay privately for Boo’s public education than I believe I should also have to pay for my older daughter’s music instruction.  


It’s okay she is turning colors…

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Add another diagnosis to Boo’s repertoire. Okay, not another one but “color changes” has officially been updated to Raynaud’s Disease. With this polar vortex happening, her color changes have become more pronounced and she is for the first time telling me, “hands hurt”.

Which is good.


Because, first, she is aware of the pain. Second, she is telling us and third…okay no third upside. Before seeing the doctor we asked Boo’s teachers and therapists to have her skip recess. I know that seems unfair, because the girl likes her slide. However being the mean mom that I am I thought frostbite trumps love of slides.

We finally got an appointment to see her rheumatologist this week. We left at 6:30 in the morning for a 9:30 appointment and made it on time (yeah me!).  This is typical for an early morning appointment. There have been days when we are an hour early and others when, well…when you wait three months for an appointment you better be an early bird and not the late worm.

Into the appointment walks Boo’s previous rheumatologist, the one that left us for Singapore was back. I did a happy dance. Seriously a happy dance. She told us that Boo Reynaurd’s. She further explained that typically they don’t diagnose it this young but obviously she has had it since birth. I honestly breathed a sigh of relief, we were not imagining it. Then the other shoe drops as she told me: However, due to her very low blood pressure we cannot treat her as we typically would medicate. The risk of bottoming out her pressure is not acceptable to the benefit of providing her relief.

Um, low blood pressure? We were just seen by cardiology. Remember, we don’t have to go back for five years! They never mentioned anything about a blood pressure issue. We immediately place a call into cardiology and in typical fashion hear back two days later. 

It seems Boo has always had significantly low blood pressure. We were not told as it does not seem to impact her. Because she isn’t complaining that she is dizzy (would she know how to?) or passing out (obvious clue thank goodness) there is no reason at this time to worry about it.

But if she passes out be sure to call them ASAP. Dude, I’m not calling you I’m calling 911 if that starts to happen. Of course we are not going to medicate the Raynaurd’s if giving her medication will potentially bottom out her blood pressure and kill her. We will keep her warm and try to limit her exposure to the polar vortex.

I am struggling with the faith that some day, some freaking day, instead of being told: well, it isn’t normal but it doesn’t seem to bother her (or my new favorite: just keep doing what you are doing because it is working) a physician is going to say to me:
  

This is what Boo has and this is how we are going to treat it.







Don’t hide

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It used to make my heart stop. When I would see other children Boo’s age and think WHY CAN’T SHE JUST (insert whatever they did). I still get smacked in the head now and then to be honest. 


But I don’t want to NOT hear about your child’s accomplishments. I want to celebrate them with you.

Just like I want you to celebrate with me. When Boo jumps for the first time. When she says a sentence. When she moves all the furniture into one room. Her milestones are different than your child. But that doesn’t minimize what your little one accomplished.

Please do not think you are hurting me by bragging. Heck that is the right of every parent. Even Boo’s. And hell I brag more than anyone. I am excited when I see your child build blocks, sit up unassisted or walk for the first time. The fact that your child did it on schedule and mine took her time?

Yes, it hurts. But in a good way. Because every time you post a milestone I am reminded of Boo’s first whatever. Sadly, Abby’s not so much. Only because Abby hit her stride and never stopped. We didn’t have to work for them. It doesn’t make her milestones less or Boo’s more.

I like your child’s milestones. I’m glad you don’t have to go through what we do to have our child walk, talk, jump or eat. So please don’t stop sharing. And definitely don’t stop celebrating. Just rejoice in how awesome your child is.

I know I do.

Got humor?

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How to survive life as a parent with special needs. Okay that is a lofty goal! It is hard enough navigating parenting with a child who is typical. Add in a few diagnoses and life can get overwhelming. But here is my go-to list for surviving the life I never expected.

1. Keep your sense of humor. If you have lost your sense of humor because it was drowned by vomit, poop, tantrums or tears Google comedian Steven Wright. How can you not chuckle at thinking: “Is it weird in here or is it just me?” (Steven Wright)

2. Make a daily goal. For me it used to be brushing my teeth at least once a day. Now it is making sure I get to work without evidence of Boo’s breakfast on my shoulder.

3. If you feel all alone in this life as a parent with special needs, you probably are. But it is your job to find support. To scream at the top of your lungs I NEED HELP. If no one hears you, let me know and I will add my voice to yours.

4. Make your child’s teacher/therapist/doctor your friend. Find out about their lives. Interact with those who your child spends most of their time. It will enrich your life in ways you cannot imagine and make issue #3 far less likely to happen.

5. Have a glass of wine. Not the bottle a glass. 

6. Allow yourself to cry, laugh, grieve and rejoice all in the same minute. It doesn’t mean you’ve lost your mind but that you may have found it.

7. Find “ME” time. I know, I hardly ever do. But when I can run for just 30 minutes I come back a much nicer wife, mother and person. It doesn’t have to be every day (oh how I wish I could find me time every day) but make time for you.

8. You hopefully have a partner. The child’s mother or father. Guess what, they are your partner in this and they too are parents with special needs. So lean on them. Consult them. Do not do this all on your own and remember that partner is there. Make them take your child to therapy, a doctor’s appointment or do drop-off at school. For too long of a time I tried to be super mom, handling everything for Boo. Once I let David in our lives were much easier. If you don’t have a partner look at rule #3.

9. It’s okay to wear your sweat pants with a hole in the crotch for a few days in a row. Just try to remember to wear underwear so you are not arrested for pulling a Miley Cyrus at school drop-off.

10. Mix-up your friends. Try to anyway. Keep a healthy mix of parents with special needs and those with that normal kid who just talked back to them. It will make you appreciate your own little wonder. It will also help to make sure you feel alone.

11. It’s okay to get pissed off. Seriously pissy at this life you didn’t expect or prepare. And once you think you’ve got it handled someone will take the rug out from under you. Consider yourself warned. It is okay to question yourself, your God and your child’s doctor. It is not okay for any freaking one to tell you that you are not allowed to feel anger, grief or whatever emotion you may be going through.

12.  Your house doesn’t have to be Martha Stewart Spotless. I will say the state of our life is directly reflected in the mess state of the kitchen. But I have stopped saying to people, sorry for the mess. Instead I say, This is how it always looks and today is actually better.

13. Remember you are more than a parent. You are more than a parent of a child with special needs. You are you and may I say you are doing a fine job of navigating this life the best you can.

Lastly, and this is important: Five years into this life as a parent with special needs I will say this is our life. What we make of it. A glass of wine helps. But what really makes me survive?

The friends who have stood by to hold, comfort and more importantly laugh with me. So find some of those and keep them close. They will help you keep your sense of humor and your sense of self.

My best dream ever….

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When I was little I had a very active imagination. My parents would put me to bed and I would spend hours imagining a life other than the one I was currently living. Sometimes I was a princess, sometimes I was a warrior and sometimes I was just a girl living a different life.

Each night it was the same. I would wait until Mom put out the light and close the door and I would line up my stuffed animals all around me. I would begin to imagine this fabulous life where everyone was equal and no one was sad.

As a child I did not know that prejudice existed. That children were born with different needs and talents. That adults would look at a child and judge. The parent and the child would be judged and found lacking. That you would be judged for who you loved, your gender or your skin color.

As an adult I wore blinders. I saw those who were disabled but did not see past their disability. I saw children who appeared disobedient and thought not like mine. I admit to not seeing a person’s color but not standing up to those who did. I lived my life on my terms, never seeing how we are all intertwined.

Then I had Bridget and my ideals evolved. A person who was a wallflower became an advocate. It took Kristi’s Our Land to put my dreams in perspective. She dreamed of a world of empathy and wonder. One where we looked at others with the imagination of a child. Not with the jaundiced vision of adulthood. A land where it would matter that our children had a disability only to make people stop and see the wonder that is this life we live.

My best dream ever? It is a dream where Abby & Boo’s story show the world what wonder and empathy look like. A dream where we judge others like we did back in the sandbox. Not by color, race, creed or gender. But with the opening line:

Do you want to be my friend?

My best dream ever is the one where our children never lose their empathy. That they continue to look at the rain with wonder. That our children make friends first and judgments last. A world where we shared the joys, the heartache and the triumphs of living a life full of blessings.

The cool thing is? My dream is coming true. I was astounded this week when not once or twice I was stopped on the street and told that this blog affected them. In a positive way. When someone sees Boo and looks with kindness and not judgement. That some parent knows they are not alone.  A world when we are allowed to break and heal with someone there to help and not to judge. A life where others view Boo through Abby’s eyes. 

My best dream ever is the one that never ends. A life where Boo shows others how to live in a world of empathy and wonder. Thanks for being with me on my journey to make my dream come true.



Finish the Sentence Friday

Oh and if you haven’t checked out Kristi’s Our Land yet I recommend the trip. It’s not about living with a disabled child. It is about living your life to be better. There are posts about body image, friendships and not judging a person (or yourself) before you meet them. Kristi is the blogging equivalent of Oprah’s AHA moment. 

Thanks but I’d rather have a glass of wine….

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It was difficult to find the thanks this week. But I’m going to try because Lizzi is hounding encouraging me. But this week was full of floods.

The first flood was quite literal.

1. I am thankful that if a frozen pipe is going to burst in the walk-in closet on the second floor that my husband was there to go all handy and run around the basement for the shut-off valve.

2. I am thankful that the plumber who came over on a Saturday morning did not make us take out a 2nd mortgage to pay his bill.

3. I am thankful that Abby was there to feed Boo breakfast, snack and lunch while her dad and I contended with the flood.

4. I am trying to be thankful that although Abby wouldn’t change Boo into clothes or hey a clean pull-up. I am thankful nothing escaped the close to exploding diaper.

5. I am thankful that although I hadn’t showered before the flood there was still hot water left to take one after it was under control.

The second flood hurt more as this time I had a flood of emotions. 

6. I am thankful for restraint when I didn’t smack the psychologist who said that saying Boo was autistic wouldn’t change how I would feel about my child. Although I did scream really loudly in my head NO SHIT HARVARD. 

7. I am thankful for Boo’s PT not only babysat Boo & Abby so I could decompress but then stayed up until 1 am with me as we talked about Boo being labeled autistic meant to me, to Boo and more importantly to those responsible for her care.

8.  I am thankful for Jenn who always knows what to say and for Tia who thinks she doesn’t always know what to say but is the first one there to lift me up. For Becky taking Abby on the best play date of her life so Boo could attend a birthday party.

9. I am thankful that when Boo attended a birthday party (her FOURTH!!!) and when the party host asked if Boo was “a little autistic” I could reply, yes but that is like saying someone is a little pregnant. And I said it with a smile not with gritted teeth.

10. I am thankful that while I spent another birthday at CHB this time it was with Boo’s cardiologist who told me that while Boo still had a hole in her heart it would not require surgery. Just observation. She doesn’t have to go back to Cardiology for FIVE YEARS. Can I get a WOO HOO and a FREAKING THANK YOU!!!! for the best birthday present ever?

Ten Things of Thankful

A funny thing

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A funny thing happened on the way to becoming Boo’s mom. I knew Boo was not going to be the same from Abby right from the start. In a way that does not diminish my love and adoration for her sister, but in a way that makes me a better mom to both.  However her being Boo turned me into mom that celebrates moments that shouldn’t happen.
Those who know this story are probably bored by now, but with Boo I am reminded every moment is precious. Even when she shits down my leg I can think “EW” and “wow she said poop” at the exact same moment. The thought that follows close after is thank the Good Lord and all that is Holy I had pants on. 

There have been times when I have been in shorts.

When Boo runs to her sister to get her off the bus I think this is the child who Early Intervention told me might never walk.  I rejoice because I can think of not one other person who gets to see their children race towards one another every afternoon at 4pm. Trust me on this, I never raced to get my brother off the bus.

https://www.youtube.com/v/WHgntYWuEW0?version=3&f=user_uploads&c=google-webdrive-0&app=youtube_gdata

 
When Boo says “mum” over and over again I never get tired of hearing her voice. I may wish for an indoor voice at 6am but I never shut the monitor off. I lay in bed and think wow she is up to her 20th word in a row. This is the child I worried would never speak and had her entire family learning sign language to help her communicate.

When I walk into the kitchen and find that Boo has relocated the furniture, managed to climb up the chair and is laughing like a loon I think to myself this is the girl they say has poor motor planning skills.

https://www.youtube.com/v/gFeOIM37YLU?version=3&f=user_uploads&c=google-webdrive-0&app=youtube_gdata

A funny thing happened on the way to becoming a mom…I became a mom of a child with special needs. Not only special but unique. One who five years later science still does not have a true diagnosis, other than unknown genetic syndrome. With a lot of other issues.

 A funny thing happened on the way to becoming a mom with a child who has special needs I discovered what really matters in life.

https://www.youtube.com/v/D0n9DKpf8b8?version=3&f=user_uploads&c=google-webdrive-0&app=youtube_gdata

 

Finish the Sentence Friday

I don’t know if I’m ready….

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I don’t know if I am ready for this post. To write it. To understand it. To mean it. To be comfortable with myself to say here I am folks and it may not be pretty. You have been warned. This post is long and rambling but while writing it I had an epiphany.

Regular readers know that Boo has an undiagnosed genetic disorder, probably neurological in nature. A month ago she had to undergo neurological-psychological testing to have a better excuse than we don’t know what the freak is wrong with your daughter to satisfy the State and Insurance Gods.

Last week we received the results of the neuro-psych testing. Most of it was unsurprising. Boo has an intellectual disability (no kidding), she has a sensory processing disorder (um, yes but did you see her video at the beach?), delayed language and….autism.

I’ll get back to that last one in a moment. For the Intellectual Disability we were thankful that her skills are scattered, so she shows not only growth but potential. The majority of her skills is in the “very low” (disabled) IQ but she did have a smattering of “low” IQ in some areas. 

They asked me if I believed the testing and I said I did with the caveat that had Boo’s known therapists had performed the tests she would have had stronger results. I do not believe the Psychologist put the tests in a context where Boo understood what was being asked of her. But they are standardized tests and the tests have to be done the same way. Let’s just agree to disagree on that one. Right, Boo’s therapists who are reading this rant?

I asked why, when for all this time we were repeatedly told our daughter did not have autism this decision was made. I am not adverse to the label, but I want the reasoning. According to the “standardized” testing Boo qualifies as Autistic due to her hand flapping (although this is only with excitement and not a stim), her sensory issues, her toe-walking and her social skills. Plus some other fancy words but I had kind of stopped listening.

Um, what? You had me until social skills. I agree with everything above when except social. I did not think I could have a child more social than Abby. Boo loves people. She loves to please, she loves to be around her friends. 

What I learned is that social interest/motivation is different from social ability. The Psychologist also expressed worry that Boo will interact only on her own agenda. But when prompted to look at the Psychologist she wouldn’t. Again I said, had her therapists she sees everyday had conducted the testing I believe the results would have been different.

But they are standardized tests and the tests have to be done the same way. Yeah, I heard you the first time.

I asked if where Boo is developmentally may have some impact on her social “ability”. Unfortunately as delayed as Boo is, developmentally her social development is even more hindered. Had the delays been closer together they would not have been so concerned.

But here is the kicker…when asked how this changes what we do for Boo. Now that she is autistic what therapies do we add, what do we take away, do we try play therapy, try yoga again, anything that I haven’t thought of….I was told:

“Keep doing whatever you are doing”.


Yeah, thanks for that.

I’m not upset by the autism label. Okay I was at first. I was worried that I am in denial. However in truth, my fear of the label is that doctors, teachers and therapists will stop looking to see what is at the root of Boo’s issues. I called her neurologist, whom I not only adore but respect and trust. 

Am I in denial?, I asked. Has Boo had autism all along and I just didn’t want to know?

No, she replied. With the standardized testing Boo qualifies for the autism diagnosis. We have never tested her before with ADOS due to her intellectual disability. Once you get down to the testing, where her strengths and weakness are clearly shown you get a better picture.  But (and this is an important but she stressed) autism is not only what is wrong with Boo. What is wrong with Boo is she has an unknown genetic disorder, an intellectual disability and other medical concerns that now include autism. 

Our Boo, she said, is something unknown and also all these things we can name. Our goal now is to make sure no one ever stops looking at the whole child.  

I struggled with this post, for some time. I struggled with understanding what autism means to me. I have plenty of friends whose children have autism. I know it doesn’t make them less. I know that they are just like Boo, unique and lovely and precious. But after all this time this was one diagnosis I never considered. Or been told to consider by her team.

I just thought Boo had an intellectual delay. I think, honestly that was easier to deal with because delay just meant she hadn’t caught up yet. Flights are delayed all the time but eventually you get to your destination. 

Epiphany time! There was a hope that was buried deep in my heart that I never knew was lingering: that she would, someday, catch up and plateau. Did I think she would be a Harvard grad? Not so much. But then I am not too impressed with Harvard grads lately. 

You don’t recover from autism. Boo will always be intellectually disabled. The hope I didn’t know existed kind of broke my heart for a day or two. I struggled with this added diagnosis and the realization Boo may never catch up. My love never wavered that she will always be my Boo. That we will always do what we have been doing and continue to defy those who say she will not do….

It wasn’t until someone asked me if Boo was “a little autistic” and I could realize with a smile, that being a little autistic was like being a little pregnant.

“Yes, Boo is autistic but she is also something so much more”, I replied.



I owe an apology

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Like many, I have fallen trap to a Facebook hoax. I reshared a link that stated Jenny McCarthy informed the world that her son did not have autism. Thankfully she was quick to rebuke the misleading information. By misinformation I am speaking to the fact that she has never said her son does not have autism.

I rarely reshare celebrity stories or thoughts because I usually do not believe (or care about) the hype.  But in this case it hit a nerve.

 

I admire Ms. McCarthy for being a proponent of autism education. I admire her dedication to her son and her willingness to say this is what autism looks like. I do wish more people would say MAY look like.  As any friend of mine with a child who has autism will tell you, they are unique from the color of their hair to their behavior to their abilities.

However her strong campaign against vaccination is something I cannot agree. It worries me when people use a celebrity endorsement to justify their own actions or non-actions. It is one thing to decide to go gluten-free to do your own investigation on how your child will react. It is another not to vaccinate your child (and potentially expose other children) to a life-threatening disease. In the only published study linking vaccinations to autism the lead researcher lost his medical license due to his irresponsibility in the conduction of the study and the study was revoked from medical publication. 

I understand that you can interpret a study to suit your purpose. Pro- or anti- vaccine link. I am not speaking to that as I am completely inept at that discussion.To paraphrase the Vice President of Clinical Innovation at Cedars-Sinai stated to the National Geographic: you can have an opinion but you cannot state that opinion as fact.

I have two different views on this subject, from two ladies I both respect and admire.

The first is a mom who decided not to vaccinate her children. However she did this after reading medical journals, doing her own research and consultation with her children’s pediatricians.

The second is a mom who vaccinated her children, but to her it was a deep seeded belief to vaccinate. Her mom was a polio survivor. But survivor is probably a poor term. Her mother was a polio warrior. One who suffered in the time before vaccination. She fought polio until her death at age 70. Her children watched her suffer and live with grace.

Myself? I honestly didn’t think of it with either child. I automatically vaccinated them. However with Boo I spoke with her pediatrician and they modified the schedule due to her health issues. Our Pedi is great. She is very conservative when it comes to vaccinations–even the flu shot–and will minimize the quantity of vaccinations given at one visit. And if you have a runny nose? She will reschedule your appointment and not six months from now. Just call and stop by. She is quite awesome, in addition to saving Boo’s life five years ago.

I am on my soapbox here, and I admit it. I also have no problem telling you and everyone else my opinion on something. But you should never use a “Jenn said” as your reason for choosing a course of action with your child.  

As far as autism and the decision not to vaccinate, research has proven that there is no correlation. In most cases this would be a non-issue. The studies have proven time and again that there is no link. However celebrity causes will continue to advocate for more research. Which is great, that is what you should advocate: more research not telling a scared mom that a vaccine gave her child autism.

The decision not to vaccinate your child should be based on your own research, consultation with your physician and a heck of a lot of soul-searching.

But never on the basis of a celebrity.