Filing under what the heck was I thinking?

Attention: Anyone in your 20’s this might not be the post for you. See, right now you have a rockin’ bod. A bod to die for that you don’t have to do any real work to maintain. Oh you also have time for the gym. 

Anyway, I am  22 years past the prime of the 20-year old. And I put on a bathing suit for the first time this year. It was not pretty. I am sure that the pasty white skin didn’t help the image. And yes, I could use a little self-empathy.

I asked the always reliable husband: Do I look fat? Ladies, especially, those in your 20’s do not in your 40’s ask a man you have been with for too long to remember for his “honest” opinion. He will give it to you.

“Well,” he said without a moment’s hesitation, “If you are asking me if you have put on weight in the past 3 or 4 years, yes. But you are not fat you just have a pouch and flabby legs”.

Yes he lived. Because, well, he was right. I haven’t run in over a year and the only aerobic activity I have done since Boo’s birth look like this:


Now friends, in the interest of honesty, I know I am not fat. I do not really have a weight issue. Things just aren’t where they used to be. I am in no way trying to be dismissive of those who struggle with their weight on a daily basis. But I am not happy with the “pouch”. So I did two things…

I signed up for a 5K with only 2 weeks to train. I’m an idiot like that. I outted myself on Facebook for accountability and I asked my nephews if they thought that was time enough to train. One replied, of course. The other one said: sure if you put down the wine. Guess which one is my new favorite?

Next, I contacted the always reliable and exercise-aholic Tia. She agreed that the 40’s have not been kind to our bodies. She then recommended the on-demand videos that are 10 minute work-outs. Surely I can find 10 minutes, right?

Well, the last time I tried a video workout I ended up watching it on the couch with some Gelato and a glass of wine. But this time I was going to do it. I could find 10 minutes,  I will, I will.

The other night I picked Allie up from school, ran errands and made it home before Boo and hubs (he had therapy duty, yay him). Started dinner and said, hey wait I have 10 minutes now.

Choose the cardiac dance video and proved once again why Allie thinks I cannot dance. Marching, I did that step perfect. The slide, yup got that down. Then they moved onto something and I, well, mis-stepped. I have no idea what move I was trying to make but I landed on the floor. Then with perfect timing, Allie comes in…

Allie: Mom what are you doing?

Me: I am exercising

Allie: I don’t think that is what exercising is supposed to look like.


Yes, she lived. Because she was right. But I got up and finished the last 7 minutes of the workout. Yes, friends, I fell in minute 3. As soon as you stop snorting wine you can finish reading….

Oh you are back!

This morning I got up and found another 10 minutes. So I did the Thin-in-10 core work out. Twelve years ago I did Pilates and Yoga 3 times a week. This should be a breeze. Let’s forget that the last Pilates/Yoga work out was 12 years ago.

I could not do a sit-up. Not one without heaving my legs off the floor for momentum. I did manage to some of the other torture moves. Thankfully there were no witnesses.

But I am determined to carry on. I will find 10 minutes every morning/evening and find time to train for the 5k.

Because I will wear a bathing suit this summer and I want to tan my pasty white skin.

And if you haven’t had a chance yet and feel bad for me and my pouch please take a moment to “like” me! I am nominated for the Best of the Blogs. Just visit this link and “like” with Facebook.

http://www.babble.com/mom/a-letter-to-new-special-moms/

You can only like me once, though. So thanks to everyone who already likes me!

 

17 thoughts on “Filing under what the heck was I thinking?

  1. Julie Sparks

    OMG, I am dying laughing, Kerri! The wine aerobics and the favorite nephew comments had me laughing, but Allie saying “I don't think that is what exercising is supposed to look like” almost required a Heimlich Maneuver! It was so lucky I wasn't actually eating at that very second. (Never mind the seconds before and after). Oh, and you go, girl! More power to you!

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  2. icansaymama

    This is such a funny post! I love the wine aerobics!!

    Seriously, I am impressed that you are going for the 5K!! Yay Kerri!! You will rock that thing, I am sure!

    And PS: never exercise in front of your kids. Ever. 😉

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  3. Stacey Nicole

    Love, love, love this! If I weren't so exhausted, I would laugh. I understand. I am not fat by most people's standards, but I am fat by mine. Thighs that rub together at the top plus a muffin top are not pretty. I only weigh eight pounds more than I did when I got married, but I weigh exactly what I did when I got pregnant with my now almost five year old. However, the thighs have expanded, the butt has drooped, I have added about 2.5″ to my waist (and that is the thinnest part of my belly!), and, well, I don't like it.

    Like you, I got a 10 minute exercise video thinking I could find 10 minutes a day and do it. No. Well, I could find 10 minutes a day, but do I want to? I get short winded and my legs burn chasing the kids just to get them to get in the bath or brush their teeth; there is no way I am lasting 10 minutes working out. I will just continue to whine about my gut until I save up the money to buy spanx (or the like).

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  4. RACHEL TaoOfPoop

    You had me at the title and the rest was gravy! This post was hilarious. And you have now outed yourself here too! I actually think that's smart. The accountability actually gives you another reason to just do it! I know you can! I'm also headed right over to FB! Way to go, Kerri!

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  5. K

    This made me laugh SO hard! But seriously, I really admire you for signing up for that 5K and committing yourself to training for it. Major props! And might I add that even though I am only nineteen, I can relate? I am thin but my “bod is rockin” in the sense that I am always trying to catch my balance! Hahahaha…I also know what you mean about finding it difficult to get motivated to work out…I'm starting again soon after a bit of break and I'm a little nervous (okay, let's be real here…I'm terrified.).

    Again, though, major props! YOU GOT THIS! 🙂

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  6. Diane Tolley

    Bwahahahaha! Oh, this was priceless! Persevere, Kerri! Persevere!
    P.S. If it helps, my daughter (mother of one) just posted that she hates putting on newly-washed jeans. It's just like trying to jam 10 pounds of cottage cheese into a 5 pound bag. You are not alone!

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  7. Kristi Campbell

    Kerri! This is awesomely hilarious and congratulations to making it to minute 3 before falling! I'm laughing my wine-damaged brain off big time right now! I love that Allie said that she doesn't think that's what exercising is supposed to look like. HA. Also? You were really nice to let your husband live. My husband won't even answer me directly. He just says “you're beautiful.” Sortof helpful, but not because I haven't signed up for a 5K and really need to. Love it! And YOU! Thanks for the smiles today, sweets!

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  8. thesadderbutwisergirl.com

    This is so funny Kerri! Exercising after having kids is no easy feat. Now that I'm on the mend from my neck injury I need to do more. I need to sign up for a 5K or something!

    Thanks for hooking up with us for the Humor Me Blog Hop!

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  9. Melissa Swedoski

    I don't think that is what exercising is supposed to look like.
    I love that kid. She would've been allowed to live in this house as well. If I did start exercising in front of my kids, they would probably stare open-mouthed at me. And then promptly run right in front of me. Kudos to you for sharing. 😉

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  10. Dana Hemelt

    So this was two months ago – you're ready for a marathon now, right? My gym routine has suffered this summer; I have to get back in the saddle when school starts, if I can fit my ass into it!

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  11. The Shitastrophy

    I tried one of those workouts – went with Jillian Michaels – got tendinitis in my elbow and couldn't bend it for over a month without agony. So yup, i totally get falling down within the first few minutes. Glad you stuck with it and had success. Love the wine aerobics too:)

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  12. dayslifedreams

    I laughed my way through this. I also have been working to lose weight and have had my less than good moments. 10 minutes a day may not seem like much but it is better than nothing. Keep it up!

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  13. Mocadeaux

    The wine aerobics image is awesome! Good luck on your training. I should probably follow your example since my 6 year old nephew, while engaging in a game of knights and dragons, recently dubbed me “Princess Squishy Tummy”. Not good…

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  14. Pingback: Ten things I’m Thankful | Diagnosed and still okay

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