The other day I was texting with Kristi over at Finding Ninee. Kristi started blogging right after I did. We found one another through a link-up and supported one another before she got all famous and stuff. She was my first blogging friend turned real-life friend. Kristi is the one I can text at 11pm with something that is so wrong it is funny.
When we first shared our real-life personal information I warned her if instead of being her awesome self, she was in fact a 40+ year-old man, living in his mother’s basement, wearing a wife-beater t-shirt that has a BBQ stain on it I would be extremely pissed off.
The added worry in wondering if Kristi really was a Kristi and not a Kurt was David being able to say, “I TOLD YOU SO” when it comes to the internet, Facebook and the devil.
Back to my rambling point, on top of worrying if Kristi is a Kurt, my friend Kate from Another Clean Slate had me worrying about a Zombie attack and if we would survive. I told her I was sure we would. We just have to be faster than the person behind us.
Now I have spoken on the phone with “Kristi” so I am pretty sure she isn’t a Kurt. Though she has a smoking hot voice on the phone. I’ve met Kate in real life, I made her run and she still talks to me. So I know two out of the blogging friends I’ve met on line are real.
Bron, Bron has to be real or else I am never going to be able to go to Australia. And that is just not fair.
But what about the others?
Dana from Kiss My List for example. She seems wicked nice. Someone I’d like to invite over for a cocktail and chocolate. But what if she is not? What if she is a closet serial killer and she really makes lists of her killings not her DIY projects?
Does Christine from A Fly on Our (Chicken Coop) Wall really have all those kids? Does she really live on a farm and have a great winter coat? Or….maybe that farm is just a home for disturbed children. It would explain all the trips to the ER.
Is Jen really a lover of music or is her Mix-tape challenge just a ruse? Maybe she is a spy from the NSA trying to figure out what the lyrics really mean.
I am pretty sure Ellen from Love that Max is just a front for the Disney Corp. How else does she get all those trips? And she doesn’t even know I exist so moving on….
Is K really a college kid? Maybe Transcending CP really isn’t what I think it is. I mean CP might not stand for cerebral palsy but a Coy Playboy with transgender issues.
Either Janine or Lizzi could be a Zombie. Have you noticed they are the first to comment or tweet? No matter what time of day or night! Lizzi has been running so Kate & I are screwed in the event of a Zombie apocalypse.
Sylvia from Faithful Mom of 9? Maybe she is really isn’t homeschooling but running some type of cult. Cause who could home-school NINE children yet not drink. Something fishy there.
I’m pretty sure Emily from Oh Boy Mom! is really a mom with more than I have on my plate. But who knows, she could be running drugs with all those trips to the Bronx. I visited the Bronx once. Once. By mistake. We were towing a camper. Never tow a camper with Masshole plates on it through the Bronx.
Michelle? What if Big Blueberry Eyes really aren’t blue but Photoshopped! And, gasp, what if she isn’t a Red Sox fan after all? I was just thinking how cool it would be if her husband got stationed up here.
What if Rachel really isn’t a geriatric mom? The Tao of Poop cannot possibly be that pretty and serene. Geriatric people are cranky. She might be really a teen mom with great hair. Cause you know teens they are always so easy going.
Ruchira? Who can be that insightful. A person who can take away all the trappings like Abracabadra and make the world seem right? She cannot be that all knowing.
When I think about it you are all suspects: either serial killers or zombies. And I met most of you via Love that Max. So really, it’s her fault if David is able to say I told you so.
Man I hope all my bloggy-friends reading this have senses of humor and really are not serial killers. Maybe I should look for a protection program. I’m sure Don can help me out with that right? Cause cops cannot lie, right?
If you don’t hear from me for a while check out my friends blogs, maybe they’ll confess!