If we were having a glass of wine, I would tell you how much I like that the Bruins are back. I missed my boys and my boys who only text me during the Bs.

If we were having a glass of wine, I would tell you that I need you as my personal shopper and go-to therapist. I would thank you for keeping it always real. Even when I fall in love with an online sweater that just doesn’t work in the real world.

If we were having a glass of wine, I would thank you for letting me be there for you after you have kept me from the edge of the abyss since we were 12 years old.

If we were having a glass of wine, we would be cracking up at my daughter telling me she wanted to go to the first ever school dance but that she would in no way be dancing. Especially not with boys.

If we were having a glass of wine, we would agree that bullying sucks and is not to be tolerated.

If we were having a glass of wine, I would tell you that Bridget went on a field and brought home a pumpkin. When I asked about the field trip, I wasn’t told about the pumpkin. I was told that cows go poop. I’m counting it as a win because the cows probably did go poop and she told me about it.

If we were having a glass of wine, I would tell you that Bridget doing soccer sucks whether it is Special Olympics or the YMCA. I’m ready to follow the parenting technique I did with her sister and not sign her up for sports until 7th grade.

If we were having a glass of wine, I would tell you I ran another half marathon and didn’t die. Though at mile 10 my hips reminded me I was 45 years old. They still haven’t forgiven me.

If we were having a glass of wine, I would tell you how sorry I am that your life is sucking eggs right now. I would remind you that I have been there and there is light at the end of the tunnel. That light is your friends, not a train meant to do you off. You should lean on your friends, that is why they were created.

If we were having a glass of wine, I would ask how your week has been…