This sounds horrible, but when I had Allie I was one and done. I mean D-O-N-E. I didn’t think I would ever love, like, have patience or stamina for another child.
Then along came a massive fire and Boo. Swear to God as any firefighter wife and she will tell you that fire = aphrodisiac to the Men that Are. Anyway, too much information but again there came Boo.
But a couple of weekends ago, Allie had her first sleep over. We had only one child and crazy dog (what exactly is a puppy who is not a puppy but not a dog called) to be responsible for almost 23 hours.
Oh my gosh, life was easier with one child. To be able to do things at Boo’s pace, to be able to sit in the quiet with her it was magical.
This past weekend, Allie went to a friends on Saturday. Called me at 4pm to let me know she wasn’t coming home. Hello, you are 9! You do not get to just call and say you have other plans. But because the friend is like a fairy godmother we let her stay. Hubs went to work on Sunday morning, leaving me and Boo to spend the day anyway we wanted.
We went for a great walk, where she screamed RUN at me. I tried to tell her we were walking, she said Donut. I ran. For a half-mile then slowed. Then she said Cookie. I ran, then slowed. CUPCAKE!!! I ran then said, screw it. I will not be guilted by a four year-old. I just walked a little further than I planned. It was a gorgeous day…
Notice how she is relaxing as I am just trying to breathe (nope, I am not sharing that picture!). I look at it this way, not only did I get exercise but Boo had speech therapy during the walk. And any rumors that she almost rolled back into the Canal are completely fabricated.
The best part of the weekend, sadly, was being able to focus on one child. Not distracted by a million other things. Please understand I do love both my girls. But to have 23 hours to just focus on one?
I quickly realized why only children are spoiled.
I know what you mean. A couple of weeks ago my mother went out of town and my sisters and I took turns going out to dinner with my dad. (Man can't fend for himself!) When it was our turn, my 4 year old stayed at my older sisters house and we just had the baby with us. My son is such a mellow relaxed child, which is completly opposite his sis, that it was almost like dining out with no kids at all. It was so much easier just with the one!
Oh yeah! I loved those camp weekends when one was gone but not the other. They have often been on different school schedules as well and that was cool too. I had so many people tell me “oh what a drag that their days off aren't the same!” and I'm like “are you kidding? I love that!”
I used to dream my parents stopped after having me- but they had two more! I think its nice you had your special day with Boo- maybe make it a quarterly thing for each girl?
It is really nice to have one on one time with just one child. The dynamics are different, and it's just more relaxed. And you did not swallow a bug – yay!
I was an only child, Samantha is an only child. There's definitely something to be said for that!! Not sure if that word is “selfish” or not, but yes, maybe we are selfish. Life is easy, the kid is great, and I can't imagine sharing my time with another child!
So, you're saying if I only had one child I would actually work out?
I don't think what you're saying is bad at all. There is a lot of data (that I'm too lazy to look up to specifically quote) that says first borns (who are only children for a while) have higher IQs than there siblings and are even, on averager a couple inches taller than their siblings.
Our ped (who is a SN dad) has told us that birth order and socio-economic demographics are statistically significant factors in outcomes of SN children.
SN or not, it is so much easier to be a better parent when you can give your undivided (or less divided) attention to that child.
But second kids are pretty awesome too and I don't think any of us regret it when we do it.
Tucker is an only child and he is VERY spoiled. VERY. Like every time we go to a store that sells trucks or airplanes, we come home with one. I think it's great that you got to spend some alone time with Boo. You reminded me of what my mom did when we were little. Once every couple of months or so, my two brothers and I would choose a Saturday on the calendar and we'd call it “Kristi Day” or “Tommy Day” or “Mike Day” and for that entire day, we got to do whatever we wanted with my mom. Alone. I think it was brilliant and invite you to steal her single great parenting idea.
Ahhhh…I only have one…stretches arms and legs out while drinking tea 🙂
My sister in law always talks about that special time that she has with her kids when they are separate.