Category Archives: work out

I need crowd control

Recently Abby started swim lessons. Yes, I know we are a tad late to getting her skills up. Especially as we are surrounded by water. But well, we’ve been busy. As I was sitting at her lesson recently I realized that just across the pool was a windowed room that gave you a view of the pool.

The room was filled with stationary bikes. In a moment of AHA I thought why am I sitting here when I could be exercising. No I wasn’t hit on the head. 

This week I brought my shorts and sneakers with us. As she got into the pool I went to the next room and entered the land of the bikes.

Giving thanks there was no one else in the room as I realized that while it had been over a decade (plus) since I belonged to a gym. And then I only took classes. I never used the equipment. But it shouldn’t be too hard, right? I have never. Ever. Like never ridden a stationary bike before. A real bike, yes. One that you pedaled and didn’t change your scenery? A new experience. I ran into a few issues. 

First the bikes are freaking huge. As in I hop onto the seat and can not only not reach the pedals but cannot reach the handlebars (are they called that if they don’t steer?). Jump back off and spent a few minutes figuring out the adjustment. I figure out how to get it to the kiddie height. Hop back on and cannot move the pedals. 

What the heck? Is there a brake? There must be, but now it seems that doohickey on the handlebars is a tension control. Okay now I can move. I am in the zone. Watching Abby swim, I think this is great. I get 40 odd minutes of uninterrupted exercise plus I don’t have to sit in the overheated pool area with a mom who wants to make small chat.

A guy walks in and says you having a bike ride? I’m like no a pedicure. Anyway with 20 bikes in the room guess where he chooses?  YUP THE ONE RIGHT NEXT TO ME!!! Then he strikes up a conversation. Asking me if I was a member of the “Y”. (yes) Because he is not but thinking of joining. I didn’t even have to ask a follow-up question to find out while his children do their lessons he “sneaks” into this section and rides. He comments on wondering why more parents don’t take advantage of the equipment while their children are in the pool. (Maybe they are not members I think). And goes on and on which would have been fine except just as I’m about to finish an Adonis wannabe walks in and again asks…
You having a bike ride?
Men are idiots. But at least this one was eye candy.
I tell him I’m just finishing up b/c my daughter is about done. He gets the bike on the OTHER side of me. I’m like really? There are now 19 other bikes that could have been utilized. But apparently my area is the perfect area in which to ride. And like I said, this guy was eye candy.

I try again at Abby’s next lesson. There is not one person in there. WHOOPEE and I am prepared. I have my ear buds, music playlist and Kindle balanced on the bike. A woman walks in and says, oh are you teaching a class?

I think: yes and these are my invisible students. 
Instead I bite my tongue and reply: Nope just riding and enjoying the quiet while my daughter has her class. She gets on the bike right in front of me so I cannot even see the pool. She is in street clothes and flip flops. Um, weird but okay. I have my ear buds in and am reading my book. One sentence in and….

YUP SHE STARTS A CONVERSATION!!! (I guess my enjoying the quiet comment was too vague)

She is not a member but saw me riding and thought she could get 20 minutes of exercising in since it was raining. I channel my nephew of the one word answers. It doesn’t work. I hear about how this seat is better than that seat. I look back down at my book as she begins telling me about her two children. I keep pedaling, keep the ear buds in yet it goes on and on. I was wishing for eye candy.

The “Y” needs better crowd control.

I did it!

After two weeks of “training” I did it. I managed to run a 5k and not be the last one across the finish line. My husband ran it with me. He did not train at all. Which makes me extremely jealous, as he never got out of breath.

The race started with motivation from the 19 year-old who organized the race to raise money for Crohn’s Disease. Mackenzie is a cool kid who has battled Crohn’s for the past three years. When she had to postpone starting college due to the disease instead of sitting back and feeling sorry for herself, she organized a 5k.

She is an inspiration for all children not to let illness, disease or hardship to defeat them. As she finished her speech she informed us that this was an “easy” 5k with just one hill. Oh, but it was a killer hill with a cemetery at the top if anyone couldn’t make it!

With those words of wisdom we were off! I started off with the pack, that quickly left me behind. David (thankfully) believes in leaving no man behind so he slowed to my pace. My goal? Keep the 80 year-olds behind me and not come in last.

That hill? It was after the first half-mile. As I am struggling to breathe running up the hill, David says: I know a short-cut. NO! I am not cheating, I am running this damn hill. Boo, in the stroller, is yelling RUN. Now in his defense he did offer to take over pushing her. But I was making a point and have way too much pride to give up.

Although I did slow to a walk. As we crested the hill, David encourages me to start running, after all it’s now down hill and we might be able to pass a couple of teenagers. We round the corner, Boo yelling ‘fast’ and me trying to breathe.

But we did it, we ran a 5k in under 38 minutes (okay, very close to 38, but it was under!).  There is rumor of a runner’s high. When the adrenaline starts to flow and all is peace and harmony.

I never found it.

This is what went through my mind as I ran (thought because I didn’t possess the energy to speak):

Boo really has to stop eating donuts and cookies
David knows way too many people in this town
What time does the Irish Pub open
The next time David jumps onto a staircase and shows off I hope he breaks his ankle
Crap, did I take a wrong turn
Boo screaming “I’m running” really isn’t helping
Does that girl in front of me know her ass is hanging out of her shorts
Why didn’t I know about the dress code for this race
Who can run in all that make-up
Boo please stop yelling FAST I’m doing the best I can
Where the hell is that runner’s high
How can David NOT be out of breath yet
Am I supposed to be listening to his stories
If I finish this I am so getting a burger and a glass of wine

HOLY CRAP There is the finish line!

Phew I’m not the last one across and I didn’t eat one bug

Why sometimes one child is so much easier

This sounds horrible, but when I had Allie I was one and done. I mean D-O-N-E. I didn’t think I would ever love, like, have patience or stamina for another child.

Then along came a massive fire and Boo. Swear to God as any firefighter wife and she will tell you that fire = aphrodisiac to the Men that Are. Anyway, too much information but again there came Boo.

But a couple of weekends ago, Allie had her first sleep over. We had only one child and crazy dog (what exactly is a puppy who is not a puppy but not a dog called) to be responsible for almost 23 hours.

Oh my gosh, life was easier with one child. To be able to do things at Boo’s pace, to be able to sit in the quiet with her it was magical.

This past weekend, Allie went to a friends on Saturday. Called me at 4pm to let me know she wasn’t coming home. Hello, you are 9! You do not get to just call and say you have other plans. But because the friend is like a fairy godmother we let her stay. Hubs went to work on Sunday morning, leaving me and Boo to spend the day anyway we wanted.

We went for a great walk, where she screamed RUN at me. I tried to tell her we were walking, she said Donut. I ran. For a half-mile then slowed. Then she said Cookie. I ran, then slowed. CUPCAKE!!! I ran then said, screw it. I will not be guilted by a four year-old. I just walked a little further than I planned. It was a gorgeous day…

Notice how she is relaxing as I am just trying to breathe (nope, I am not sharing that picture!). I look at it this way, not only did I get exercise but Boo had speech therapy during the walk. And any rumors that she almost rolled back into the Canal are completely fabricated.

The best part of the weekend, sadly, was being able to focus on one child. Not distracted by a million other things. Please understand I do love both my girls. But to have 23 hours to just focus on one?

I quickly realized why only children are spoiled.

Following what was I thinking…

Remember I said I would find 10 minutes and signed up for a 5k. If not you can read here to catch up. Okay if you are done laughing we can continue…

The other day I decided I had to start training for that 5k. Two weeks should be enough, right? Since the Bruins kept me up to oh-dark-thirty in triple overtime it wasn’t happening before work. I decided to take an hour personal time before the Boo pick-up and take a practice run.

A 2.2 mile run/walk. What could go wrong?

It started out fine, there I was rocking jogging to Lady Antebellum when I hit my first obstacle. The fire department. Who drives by? Husband and fellow brothers in the big ass fire truck. Why are they just roaming the streets, shouldn’t they be at the station or saving lives? (Later husband tells me they were on their way back to the station, not just roaming the streets)>

The second obstacle, the hill. Why the hell are there so many hills. Okay driveways that are at an incline, but still it was an incline.

Then the third obstacle, elderly tourists. They get off the tour bus and right onto the sidewalk. You just know you can not run around their walkers. I veer around them trying to ask the gentleman for a hit off his oxygen bottle and continue on. I finish almost mile one (yes, ALMOST mile one) and…

Eat a freaking bug.

In the name of all that is Holy why the Hell are there bugs!!! But I didn’t vomit so point for me. As I am choking I decide to walk. Except I am almost to the fire station. I cannot embarrass myself. Or him. Okay not so much him….So I start running again.

Then I see Mecca, a liquor store. Hello wine…are they doing a tasting? Crap I am supposed to be jogging not drinking. Damn I knew I should have brought wine cab fare. Carrying on I almost get hit by a car.

Yes a car that obviously never heard of the rule to STOP before turning RIGHT on red. I am pretty sure they were tourists. Mass drivers know the stop, not quite stop but roll, then go. Out of towners? They don’t have the roll down.

But we all survived. Of course I was thinking hey if he hits me the EMT’s will bring something stronger than wine, right? But then the second thought of, well crap I can just imagine the ribbing I will take from my husband and his friends if they have to respond. Okay….

I give up and begin walking. For half of an Adele song, why do I have slow songs on my MP3? And to boot a song that makes me feel like a weak woman rather than a strong one. I finally figure out how to fast forward on an MP3 to Miranda Lambert. Now that is kick-ass jogging music.

I start up again and I make it just before mile two. When Levon by Elton John comes on. Yes, he called his child Jesus. I think that was my reprieve and I started walking again. Jesus walked on water, I can walk on the sidewalk, right?

This is what I learned in my first jog of the year in my hope to go from couch to 5k (without following their program) instead of 5k to couch:

Our town has way too many elderly tourists.
Dunkin donuts is right next door to the police and fire station. Yet my husband never brings home donuts… Coincidence?
There were four liquor stores on my short 2.2 (yes I am counting the .2) mile jog/walk.
I did not stop at one of them so I am either an idiot, a runner or just some one who didn’t bring cash on my run.
Bugs are gross.
I really shouldn’t sing out loud to the MP3 player.

But I did it. I ran 2.2 miles (okay I walked maybe more than the .2), ate a bug and didn’t vomit.

I am on my way to the 5k.

Filing under what the heck was I thinking?

Attention: Anyone in your 20’s this might not be the post for you. See, right now you have a rockin’ bod. A bod to die for that you don’t have to do any real work to maintain. Oh you also have time for the gym. 

Anyway, I am  22 years past the prime of the 20-year old. And I put on a bathing suit for the first time this year. It was not pretty. I am sure that the pasty white skin didn’t help the image. And yes, I could use a little self-empathy.

I asked the always reliable husband: Do I look fat? Ladies, especially, those in your 20’s do not in your 40’s ask a man you have been with for too long to remember for his “honest” opinion. He will give it to you.

“Well,” he said without a moment’s hesitation, “If you are asking me if you have put on weight in the past 3 or 4 years, yes. But you are not fat you just have a pouch and flabby legs”.

Yes he lived. Because, well, he was right. I haven’t run in over a year and the only aerobic activity I have done since Boo’s birth look like this:

Now friends, in the interest of honesty, I know I am not fat. I do not really have a weight issue. Things just aren’t where they used to be. I am in no way trying to be dismissive of those who struggle with their weight on a daily basis. But I am not happy with the “pouch”. So I did two things…

I signed up for a 5K with only 2 weeks to train. I’m an idiot like that. I outted myself on Facebook for accountability and I asked my nephews if they thought that was time enough to train. One replied, of course. The other one said: sure if you put down the wine. Guess which one is my new favorite?

Next, I contacted the always reliable and exercise-aholic Tia. She agreed that the 40’s have not been kind to our bodies. She then recommended the on-demand videos that are 10 minute work-outs. Surely I can find 10 minutes, right?

Well, the last time I tried a video workout I ended up watching it on the couch with some Gelato and a glass of wine. But this time I was going to do it. I could find 10 minutes,  I will, I will.

The other night I picked Allie up from school, ran errands and made it home before Boo and hubs (he had therapy duty, yay him). Started dinner and said, hey wait I have 10 minutes now.

Choose the cardiac dance video and proved once again why Allie thinks I cannot dance. Marching, I did that step perfect. The slide, yup got that down. Then they moved onto something and I, well, mis-stepped. I have no idea what move I was trying to make but I landed on the floor. Then with perfect timing, Allie comes in…

Allie: Mom what are you doing?

Me: I am exercising

Allie: I don’t think that is what exercising is supposed to look like.

Yes, she lived. Because she was right. But I got up and finished the last 7 minutes of the workout. Yes, friends, I fell in minute 3. As soon as you stop snorting wine you can finish reading….

Oh you are back!

This morning I got up and found another 10 minutes. So I did the Thin-in-10 core work out. Twelve years ago I did Pilates and Yoga 3 times a week. This should be a breeze. Let’s forget that the last Pilates/Yoga work out was 12 years ago.

I could not do a sit-up. Not one without heaving my legs off the floor for momentum. I did manage to some of the other torture moves. Thankfully there were no witnesses.

But I am determined to carry on. I will find 10 minutes every morning/evening and find time to train for the 5k.

Because I will wear a bathing suit this summer and I want to tan my pasty white skin.

And if you haven’t had a chance yet and feel bad for me and my pouch please take a moment to “like” me! I am nominated for the Best of the Blogs. Just visit this link and “like” with Facebook.

You can only like me once, though. So thanks to everyone who already likes me!