I’m old

A warning to anyone under 30-ish and/or childless, this post probably isn’t for you. It contains a lot of truth but will probably make you either jealous or want to punch me in the throat for crushing your dreams. But here are some truisms that you just don’t get until you are on the dark side of 30 with children. Or (insert gasp) older with children.

1. Staying up past 10pm is an accomplishment not a right.
2. When your child comes home and tells you some one was mean to them you remember when you were not so nice and wish you could do a Back to the Future and kick your own ass. See, if you are 30-ish you have no idea what that means.
3. You will give the last Oreo to your child, but not your spouse.
4. At some point you will stop thinking you can lose those last five pounds and instead look at that C-section scar as a badge of courage.
5. Although you want to smack the childless co-worker who says she is “so tired” and “didn’t sleep” all night you won’t. But only because you are too tired to lift your arms.
6. Sometimes you wish life was a Jimmy Buffett song and could just change your Latitude.
7. While you will always love your children you do not always like them.
8. You don’t care if you just insulted childless couples by saying you sometimes don’t really like your children.
9. Although you love your parents, you will wish they remembered what it was like to have children NOT grandchildren when they go shopping.
10. You wouldn’t change one minute, one moment of heartache, one tear in exchange for the hug that just won’t stop. Even when your child is on the dark side of 30.

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