Monthly Archives: July 2012

Poor, poor, poor crazy puppy

Yesterday I just wasn’t quick enough. I had given Boo her morning medications and everything was fine. Until the Ex-Lax. Just as I turned away she took it out of her mouth and POOF it was in the puppy’s.

This was just as we were walking out the door for a 3 hour therapy session. I locked the puppy in the breeze way and hoped for the best.

After therapy I returned home and realized hoping for the best just wasn’t good enough.

Lesson learned: never, ever, ever walk away from Boo after giving her medication!

Trying not to compare and failing miserably

I really TRY no t to compare Boo to other children. I just don’t often succeed. Take last yesterday. While other children (including Allie) were enjoying the fire department muster, Boo was to overwhelmed to participate. I tried to take her off to the side to play in the foam, but she could not over come her fears. Too many people, too much foam, too much noise. I don’t know which of these factors were too much for Boo, because she cannot tell me.

It is so difficult not to think, look at those little ones rolling in the field. They are having so much fun. Watching the utter joy on the other children’s faces as they played with the water and foam I had to continually remind myself of Boo’s progress this year. At least this year, she watched from afar. She kept calling for Allie to come out of the fun, certain she was in danger. But she wasn’t crying or clinging to my arms. She just wanted to watch and laugh from a safe distance.

It was the well-meaning family members that bothered me. Trying to force Boo into a situation she wasn’t comfortable. Trying to force her to touch the foam or play in the water. They were trying, I know, to help. 

But they were not helping. 

They just think this is something Boo will outgrow. They do not understand that the hours of therapy a week are necessary. That Boo needs to explore the world at her own pace. You cannot force Boo to do anything. She has to wait and make sure it is safe (thankfully Allie is a willing guinea pig). Boo does not like for you to take her shoes off and make her walk onto the grass. That it took me a week for her to be able to wear the crocs in the first place, so please do not remove them!

They do not truly understand that the doctors, surgeries, procedures, therapies are essential for Boo’s life. And that they are probably unending. A friend actually said to me that Boo was a typical 3YO, why is she in so much therapy. Then I pointed to the actual 3YOs that were playing with the firemen in the muster.  The ones who were playing on the playground unassisted, going to the ice cream truck and eating without a problem. If Boo wasn’t in so much therapy she wouldn’t be rolling over let alone walking.

I understand that all children reach milestones at different times. I just wish well-meaning friends and family would begin to understand that Boo’s milestones may be in the distant future. They should rejoice in where she is, not where she should be.

And so should I.

Independence Day

Tomorrow, July 4th, we celebrate our Nation’s Independence. The preparations got me thinking of how, as parents, we provide the tools for our children’s independence. Even though it breaks our hearts, a little, every moment we are preparing them for growth.

Allie is already an independent 8 year-old, going on 45. Preparing her to be independent means giving her the confidence to know she can do anything she sets her mind but nurturing the desire to include others on her journey.  

Naturally, I wonder about Boo’s Independence Day. Will she ever have one? I know she is only 3! But I am a worrier and a planner. I want to know today what I am doing tomorrow. This is where Boo’s needs fit perfectly with my own. I need to plan and she needs a plan for every day!

One of the difficulties I face with Boo being undiagnosed is I do not know what her future holds. I do know that all children’s futures are uncertain. While I can imagine Allie being a wonderful dictator to a small Caribbean nation (hey, I want to retire to a beach and she loves ordering Boo around!), she may just run a household. And that’s okay.  And it is okay that I will always worry that Allie is living a fulfilled life. That’s the definition of MOM, or it should be!

Boo is another worry. I just don’t know what her expectations should be. Should I expect her to be reaching for the stars or just concentrate on her teaching her to hold our hand? A year ago, Boo was using a pediatric walker. Today she is walking independently. This is where I have to stop and acknowledge her success. She may never reach total independence. But she will have moments of independence that I should remember to celebrate in small ways. 
I have begun to set short-term goals, rather than long-term expectations.   

Tomorrow, while I am attending the parades and fire department musters and watching the celebration of our Nation’s Independence Day, I will also remember to celebrate Boo’s accomplishments. In just a year she has become independent in:

·         Walking  

·         Climbing on-top of my kitchen table

·         Signing “I want” and following up with verbalizing “cracker” (or her version of the word)

·         Getting herself into and out of her toddler bed

·         Opening her bedroom door

·         Drinking from an open cup

Happy Independence Day, Boo! I cannot wait to see what the next year brings.

Crafty, I am not. Thankfully my sister-in-law and brother-in-law are. I saw this post on a redneck waterbed on another blog (find it here http://playathomemom3.blogspot.com/2012/02/redneck-waterbed.html) and thought it was a fabulous idea for Boo. I figured we could use it as a balance / sensory mat.

Except, I am seriously impaired in the craft department! I am so seriously impaired that Allie will not even let me help her with school projects. She calls Auntie for that. So when I saw this online and realized how we could adapt it for Boo, I immediately sent the link to Auntie.

Auntie did even more research and found that it could be adapted with bath toys (http://playathomemom3.blogspot.com/2012/04/i-spy-redneck-waterbed.html) making it even more fun!

Yesterday in the 90-degree weather she and Uncle came over with the mat. As it was filling we found that the edges will seep, so they recommend if anyone wants to try this at home, to fold over the corners a couple of times when taping. They also used Gorilla Duct tape.  

It took Boo a bit to get onto the mat. But once Allie coaxed her on it, she had a fab time!
She loved laying on it and finding her bath toys. They moved around a lot so it kept her crawling around the mat. Also, thanks to the Gorilla tape, the mat held her and Allie rolling around on it. Even better, when I woke this morning the water hadn’t leaked out at all over night.
Special thanks to Auntie & Uncle who made this happen!