This was so not in the parenting manual

You know how before you give birth some one gave you a What to Expect book? You also probably did a birth class. None of which prepares you for life with an actual child.

Last night Boo woke up at midnight and proceeded to throw up every 15 minutes for the next couple of hours. Then she only woke every 45 minutes to throw up. Eight hours and four loads of laundry husband comes home from his shift.  As I lay Boo on the couch to go to work, she throws up one more time….all over me.

Second shower and a change of clothes and off I go to my paying job. You know when you get into the office you ask the question, how are you to your coworkers. Not that you actually care after being up all night, but just to be polite.

And then that one coworker, the one without children. The one who is unmarried and lives with the dog that is her life. You know the one that I mean. The one that has time to exercise, take long walks, drink her wine without interruption. The one who has the life you used to have before children. Let alone a sick child. She proceeds to tell you that she is ‘exhausted’ but ‘surviving’.

And all you want to say is survive this (with the one finger salute) and walk into your office. Instead you empathize and escape to your office as soon as it is polite. You walk into a call from your husband saying Boo has now spiked a temp. What should he do? To another call saying the contract is ready to be picked up and that a hundred emails that tell you other things need to be done before you can escape to take care of the most important part of your life.

But you need the paycheck. So you put your big girl panties on and go to work.

And think to yourself, I’d really like to meet the author of that book, because they have no freaking idea of what to expect.

13 thoughts on “This was so not in the parenting manual

  1. Big brother, Little sister.

    Kerri, beautiful writing, I loved it xx so sorry Boo is sick x I am amazed you even made it to work ! Having kids really opens up your world and disability changes you forever I feel. Agreed these childless people have no idea what tired really feels like! When my brother in law (22) talks about being exhausted from a late night I try not to throttle him 😉


  2. GirlWithTheCane

    First time reader and commenter…what a beautiful little girl your Boo is! I'm so sorry that she's feeling sick. I don't have children, and I hope that if I ever sound that insensitive that someone tells me. I apologize for all of us childless folk, lol!

    You're a lovely writer and I'll be back to read more…


  3. Maya

    I hope Boo is feeling better now! It can be hard not to lose it on those people who just don't get it. On one hand, I don't fault them too much because they have no idea. On the other hand though, they should be cognizant of who they are talking to!


  4. Rabia Lieber

    I have a young, newly married (no kid-plannin') co-worker who loves to complain about how difficult her life is: she didn't get to DVR the show she wanted, her husband is working a weird shift this week and she's bored, her gym class conflicts with a meeting. I just smile and nod. She has no idea!!


  5. Considerer


    I only hope the one with no kids and a dog she dotes on is that way by choice.

    Otherwise she's possibly in my position, and would give her eyeteeth to be robbed of sleep, double-vomited on and rendered anxious as hell by her very own child…


  6. Kristi Campbell

    I had a day a little bit like this yesterday. After almost falling asleep in a meeting, some dumb young dude with no kids was dumb enough to ask how I was. I told him that I'd had 3 hours of sleep and that at 5am, I was cleaning up kid puke b/c my poor little dude was sick. His response? “I just ate.” F#cker.
    Hey I just realized I've never seen this before because you wrote it before I even knew you or was blogging – how weird. It's like a time space thingie.


  7. Molley Mills

    I've had 2 days like that. I hate when the kids get sick. It's worse when you can't do anything to help them. My frustration is always so difficult to keep in check.
    Hope little Boo feels better now.
    Thanks for hooking up to the Hump Day Hook Up



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