Express yourself

I used to be a wallflower.

No seriously, ask Tia.

I didn’t speak to my mother-in-law for 6 years, unless she looked directly at me. I didn’t know what to call her. I wasn’t sure how to get her attention. It took having Abby for me to say “Barbara” and even then I stuttered over it!

In high school, I would go a whole day without talking to anyone other than my closest friends. In Junior High, Mr. Leavitt got so angry at my mumbling that he screamed at me in my face. I fell under the desk. It was the 80’s teachers were allowed to scream at students and not get fired.

I was timid. I was shy. I had no self-confidence and rarely started a conversation. I had friends, don’t get me wrong. It was a small group, but a group of girls I am still proud to have in my life. It wasn’t like I was a hermit and never left my room. I was just quiet and waited for my turn to speak.

Then I had Bridget.

As I became her advocate I found my voice. Not just in relation to her health, but in my family. In my career. In my personal and professional lives. I did not do it alone. Bridget’s teachers and her therapists gave me the words and the confidence to speak up when I need.

To listen when I need.

To cause holy hell when I need.

When it comes to my words, I know I would not have them if I didn’t have Bridget.

 

 

I would not have been a panel member of Care to The People, joined the school committee  or for that matter the PTA.

I know without Bridget I would not have had the confidence to audition for Listen to Your Mother, gone to BlogHer or answered had a conversation with a person I had only met online.  I would not continue using this blog to spread my truth, my ideas and my thoughts.

I sometimes feel bad for David. I am not the girl he met 20 years ago.  I am sure at times, he wishes I was the timid, docile girl he first took to a Jimmy Buffet concert.

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circa 1990-something

I know he is proud of my accomplishments. What I have learned in finding my voice is that it doesn’t matter if my husband, my family or my friends are proud of me.

It matters what I think of me.

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This is how I completely broke the rules but adapted the Finish The Sentence Friday prompt, “When it comes to my emotions and words…” brought to you by Kristi at Finding Ninee 

11 thoughts on “Express yourself

  1. Lizzi

    Amazing words, and so glad you found your voice and became such a brilliant advocate. I love that your life changed so much for the better when you opened yourself to the goodness in such a different way forward than you envisaged. Good job on LTYM 🙂

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  2. OhBoyMom

    Ohhh how I love that video and every word you wrote! I feel bad I’ve been M.I.A. These days – barely writing or reading blogs, but boy am I glad I read this today. 😃

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  3. Ruchira Khanna

    Gosh! you had me in tears and loved how you opened up with the retard incident…made me giggle at first and yes, the dimensions of life is so huge yet uncertain…got to embrace all that come our way!

    Proud of you kerri, and sending hugs!

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  4. explorereikiworld

    Gosh! you had me in tears and loved how you opened up with the retard incident…made me giggle at first and yes, the dimensions of life is so huge yet uncertain…got to embrace all that come our way!

    Proud of you kerri, and sending hugs!

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  5. Allison G smith

    I remember the video, and love hearing your voice (and the Cape Cod) in you! I was just like you when I was younger. Sooooo shy and afraid. I found my voice when I lived in Puerto Rico for a year, and really let it roar when the boys arrived😈

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  6. Erin Orcutt

    And now I’m crying on my way to work. You are beautiful your words are beautiful your family is beautiful Bridget’s amazing!

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