I don’t usually do New Year’s Resolutions. To me it is setting yourself up for failure. Until I read my friend’s first ever blog post. This friend, a former ESP for Bridget, has been present in my life for 6 years. We’ve run a frozen Muderella together and remained Friends. She is no longer Bridget’s ESP and yet here we are, friends. We never see one another, yet friendship remains. Then this month she began her first blog.
Her first post (When you are not even sure who you are anymore) resonated with me, and made me rethink my anti-Resolution stance. I know who I am. While reading her post I had an AHA moment. I realized that while I know who I am, I am not taking care of me. Therefore….
In 2019, I will write more. Writing is my outlet. Writing is where I found myself. Where I defined myself, rather than let the world define me. Fair warning, I’m planning a post a month in February for #RareDisease Month. That helps in two ways. It gets me back into the writing regularly mode and spreads awareness.
In 2019, I will run more. Not half-marathon, not obstacle race training. At least once a week I will run, for me and for my health. For my widening ass. For my floppy thighs. For (as Abby calls it) my fluffy belly. For my heart. For my mind. While running I concentrate on breathing, nothing else except the music coming from my ear buds. I don’t have to talk. I don’t have to be present for anyone else but me.
In 2019, I will purge all the crap that has been accumulating in my house since I had Abby. Why do I still have her doll house? Why is my basement filled with things we do not use and will not need? Again, self-serving. The less clutter the less for me to clean. (win-win!)
In 2019, I will read more. I miss reading. I am spending too much time at night on my phone, scrolling social media. Playing foolish games. I will go back to my love of a good book. I will get lost in a story. I will learn from a historian. I will learn more about the world around me and how I can affect change.
In 2019, I will have more girlfriend time. I will schedule one night a month to go out and be with those I can laugh, cry, share and show up in pajamas with. It might be a night in at Janice’s B&B. It might be a night at K’s fire pit. It might be bowling. It might be inviting the Spaulding chicks over to my house (once I’m down a house guest). It won’t be expensive. It will be a time to remember I am not a wife. I am not a mom. I’m, well, me.
In 2019, I will be a stronger mother. I will enable Bridget less (her sister and father too!). There are things I automatically do for Bridget. I help her get dressed. In truth, I dress her and use the excuse I have to get to work. I am working against her independence. I need to support her, not let her use meltdowns to not do something we know she can do or at least attempt.
In 2019, I will be more present. I will be there more for my villagers than they are for me. I will support them. I know this is self-serving, if I am there for my village they will be there for me. I will, however, check in on them more. Be aware of what they need, rather than what I think will help.
In 2019, I will say no more often. Realistically I know I will over-commit. I will, however, make a concerted effort to prioritize. I have a good friend that has the awesome power to say no without guilt. She will be invited someplace and reply, nope taking a me night with a fire and a good book. I will learn from this friend. I will attempt to decide do I really need to do X?
In 2019, I will remember that I know who I am but that I need to take care of me. In order to be me, I need to make health (mental and physical) a priority. It may mean I say no more often. It may mean I say that I need an hour to go for a run.
In 2019, I will not make it the year of Kerri. I will make it the year of knowing Kerri cannot be who she is if she doesn’t remember to care for herself as she cares for those around her. That she needs her husband, her children and her friends. She also needs herself.
This is how I Finished the Sentence, In 2019 I will…. and created a listicle with my awesome co-host Kristi from Finding Ninee
You don’t have to pick 10 Listicles, but what is one thing that you will do in 2019 for you?
!– start InLinkz script –>
OMG we had such similar brain waves with this one. I especially love how you put this “In 2019, I will not make it the year of Kerri. I will make it the year of knowing Kerri cannot be who she is if she doesn’t remember to care for herself as she cares for those around her. That she needs her husband, her children and her friends. She also needs herself.”
Because we do. Also, I SO get “helping” the kiddo get dressed because easier, faster, all of it. Because OMG we need us, too. I wish I loved running. I might try again.
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Running sucks. But while I don’t always agree with David… we need to care for us.. So care for you!
Sounds like you have some realistic goals, and ones that will make your life better. I’m always up for more reading, and I have some purging to do this year too. Does my 20 year old need all of her old baby dolls? Nope – keep your favorite and say goodbye to the rest. Happy 2019 Kerri!