Today is Sept.11th. (yup, I know you know!)  Married to a firefighter, I sometimes think 9/11 means something different to me than others. Kind of like being a parent evolves once you realize your child is special.

I always took what my husband did for work lightly. I mean, yes he is a firefighter but it was a remote thing to me. Kind of like my job, he has no idea what I do at the office all day. It doesn’t mean we do not respect one what the other one does. It is just a given. 

I go to my job, he to his. He used to tell a story that until you were a firefighter you had NO idea what they did. He was right.

We had been dating for over 5 years when 9/11 happened, engaged for almost a year. In our time together he had been electrocuted in a fire (he smelt burnt for about a week–not a pleasant smell), been dropped 2 stories in a training drill, been caught in a backdraft and had thrown out his back when he was lifting a drunk on a stretcher and the drunk started flailing. 

In all the years we have been together, he had mishaps but nothing serious. I know what you are thinking…electrocution, not serious? Well it wasn’t like he was admitted to the hospital or anything. He had an ‘incident’ at work, went to the ER and came home. If I remember correctly, he waited until the rescue brought some one else into the ER and then had them drive him home on the way back to the station. He didn’t even tell me about it. A friend called me at work, told me he was sent to the ER. I went home to put the dog out (not crazy puppy–before his time) and there he was on the couch. 

So until 9/11 I knew that my future husband was a firefighter but I never worried about it. It was just where he went to work.

I am sure I am not the only one who remembers exactly where I was when the Tower was hit. I was at a meeting and the waitress came running over to tell us to come to the TV. The meeting ended and we went back to the office (where coincidentally we had just gotten cable TV for the waiting room) where we watched the 2nd Tower hit.

My future husband called me to say he was on the short list to go to Boston if it was hit. As a member of the confined space team he would be one of the first deployed. My future brother-in-law is on FEMA, he was sent immediately to NYC to begin search and rescue. 

My future husband wasn’t allowed to leave the station for 3 days as we all waited for the next calamity. Thankfully that didn’t happen.

But I will never forget sitting at home, watching the coverage, seeing the men and women walk into a building to save others. Or watching them run into the building as it fell to save their brethren. 

This morning as I was in the shower getting ready for the day my husband called in that he was leaving for a structure fire. The girls and I went on with our morning, getting ready for school and work. Just as we were leaving he came home safe and sound.

Few of us can imagine having the courage that these brave men and women had. But my husband does. Thanks to my husband and those like him how risk their lives so we don’t have to!

There is nothing like a weekend stuck inside due to crap weather to get you over a pity party. (And I fully admit that last week’s post was a pity party of epic proportions)

With the cold, damp weather the girls, crazy pup and I were basically stuck inside. Husband, of course (!) was on duty so I had to get creative. We made brownies, played bubbles and walked the carriage. Boo kept throwing the baby on the floor!

 Then the girls and pup decided to play hop on mom. Well, that quickly got out of control. So when the energy just got too pent up….couch volleyball was created.

(note to self, take socks off before diving for the ball on the hardwood floor).

 While Allie and I were competing in the couch volleyball Olympics, Boo was moving all of my kitchen chairs into her room (I guess she got bored of pushing the empty carriage).

Am I the only one perturbed by the underwhelming coverage of the 2012 Paralympics? Not only did our athletes not receive the daily medal accolades on the evening news, the closing ceremony wasn’t even presented on the prime time networks!

For the US Team, 20 of the athletes were veterans. Some of them wounded in Iraq & Afghanistan! Like this great man, Navy Lt. Brad Snyder. Lt. Snyder lost his sight when he stepped on an improvised explosive device while on duty in Afghanistan. One YEAR ago. Last week he won a second gold medal at the London 2012 Paralympic Games. Click “like” to thank him for his service with the Navy and cheer him on with his new Team USA. His story with videos: http://ow.ly/dxUf6

Lt. Snyder (taken from US ParaOlympics Facebook page)

Personally, I think his military record is more impressive. And further, I believe his Olympic record is more impressive than any able-bodied Olympian. Not to take anything away from Keri Walsh & Misty May, but these game have something called murder ball. In this game they have technicians to re-weld the athletes wheelchairs!

Murder ball

 The great news is, that although the Games did not get a lot of play in the US media, they did break all the records. Over $70 MILLION in ticket sales with over 2.7 attendees. Including the Royal Family. Read more about the games here: CBS Coverage

I want to say THANK YOU to all of our Olympians for doing their respective countries proud. You are the true champions!

This past week was wonderful. We had a house full of company for the long weekend, Allie is exhausted from all of kids. She (and Boo) had a great time playing with their cousins, the ones that are their ages and the ones that just act like it.

It was a hard weekend for me and not just because I did 15 loads of towels! I know Boo is delayed, that she will most probably be labeled “intellectually disabled” within the next couple of years. She has made such gains this summer in the new special-ed program and I am so proud of her.

This weekend I was taken by surprise to see just how far behind she remains. As Allie and her cousins ran around the yard, played on the bounce house, climbed all over the playground Boo tried to keep up. She really did. She was so excited and squealing. But every time she got close…ZOOM they were off in another direction.

It was great for Allie. She got to play with kids who could keep up. She ran around the amusement park with her Uncle and got to go on all the rides (poor husband was working!). Boo was content to sit in the stroller and watch them have fun.

Boo was fine. Allie was fine. I was guilty. Because instead of seeing all the gains Boo has made, I saw her flaws.

I saw Boo not catching up.

I saw people not understanding Boo’s efforts when she tried to communicate.

I saw Boo not being able to jump on the bounce house.

I saw Boo getting overwhelmed when we went to the playground that had sand surrounding the play structure.

I saw Boo not  being able to do things a typical 3YO can do. Things that her cousin (who is 3m younger) did without any difficulty at all.

Although, Boo was MUCH better behaved in the restaurant 🙂

I feel horrible.  I feel guilty. I feel like I let Boo down.

I admit to having high expectations for Boo. When they said she wouldn’t walk, I got her more therapy and a pediatric walker. A year later she walked. I have always set reasonable (in my mind) goals for Boo and never felt that as a mom I was short changed.

I have never looked at another child and was envious. I have felt that it wasn’t fair that Boo had to work so hard. That I would look at other parents and cringe when I heard them complain about their toddler getting into things. I would think to myself, if only!

But until this weekend I never looked at the other children and held Boo up to their level of development.

I have always looked at Boo and been proud. Sure I’ve been embarrassed (like that time in Church) when she acts up in public. But I’ve always been able to rationalize that those staring didn’t know Boo and could kiss my right cheek.

But this weekend, I was one of those idiots who judge my daughter.

It’s the first day of school, it’s the first day of school, it is the first day of school! This is how I woke Allie this morning. Singing and dancing.

It is amazing, all summer she and Boo have been up at freaking 6:45 in the morning. Today, first day of school? I had to wake Allie up at 7:30!!!!!

But I don’t care, because it is the first day of school!!!! WOO HOOOOOOOOO 🙂

Boo has an issue with her left foot. I am not sure what the issue is, but Boo really (and I mean REALLY) does not like socks or shoes on her left foot. She will walk around all day with the right shoe/sock on. But her left? Oh no, she does not like that at all. 

We do manage to get the shoe on in the morning, but left unattended and she has that shoe off faster than a prom dress on prom night.

She is no longer allowed to wear shoes in the Jeep, since her last left shoe ended up somewhere on the highway.

Yesterday afternoon as we sat around the fire pit, enjoying the peace and quiet of the day I heard my mom yell BOO NO!!!!! I jumped up and in slow motion watched her left sneaker plop right into the middle of the pit. 

You never realize what a fire hazard those light up sneakers are. I apologize to our neighbors who saw (and smelt) the black plume as it rose above our yard.

I will be investing in sneakers AGAIN. If only I could buy the left ones 🙂

Raising kids is tough, sure. With Allie it really doesn’t seem to difficult. I kind of took for granted the people who help make her a great, easy kid. But it took Boo to make me realize that it was more than just her parents that make Allie the girl she is becoming.
My husband, in-laws (who unlike my mom live in town), friends, Allie’s daycare when she was younger and teachers now that she is (gasp!) entering 3rd grade. All of them contributed to making her an awesome, easy child who is fun to be around. And sure, I had something to do with it too!

But I would not be able to keep my sanity without the village that keeps Boo going. Without her village of physical, speech, occupational, feeding therapists Boo would not be walking, talking and eating me out of house and home. Without her village of daycare providers who took her as their first special needs child EVER in the history of their school, Boo would not have had a loving and nurturing place to go while mom & Dad were at work. Without her village of medical professionals Boo would not be alive let alone walking, talking and playing with her sister. Without her village of the special education program thru our local school system, Boo would not have made such terrific gains this summer. She made a friend and knew her teachers names!

Without Boo’s family village she would not have blossomed. And I am not limiting that to just Allie! Boo has a great support system of grandparents, aunts/uncles, cousins and friends who are sometimes closer than family.

She is an incredibly lucky child.

This week has proven that. My mom came up for a visit, she has made my life so much easier this week. Caring for the girls so that my husband and I could just go to work without worrying about bathing, dressing, feeding, medicating Boo. She took them on adventures, cleaned my bathroom (yes, she is my favorite mom), did the dishes and picked up some groceries. And wine (yup, favorite!).

Last night grandpa arrived. Chaos ensued as Allie had her two favorite people were here (she sees new Barbies in her future) for the long weekend.

So not only should a special needs child come with a village, it should come with a great grandmother who visits every couple of months. It’s really not fair otherwise 🙂

We did it! We survived summer vacation. I know, I am a horrible mom. I am one of those moms that would vote for school to be year round with mini vacations throughout the year. Maybe if I was a stay-at-home mom I would think differently. But I bet they cannot wait for summer to end more than me! It is just so hard to keep the girls busy (with fun stuff) and then I feel guilty for not taking time off to spend with them. Unfortunately, my vacation/sick days are reserved for Boo’s appointments and some long weekends here and there so I don’t go insane.

Thank goodness Boo was eligible for a summer program. She has this week off and goes for half-days next week. Allie goes back next week and I am doing a mini dance at my desk. She, well not so much. Allie does not like school. Don’t get me wrong. Allie loves the social aspect of school, gym and recess. Other than that she would rather not go, thank you very much.

Allie is a smart kid. A brilliant reader with an imagination that amazes me. Allie does not enjoy math/tests/having to do the assignment just as the teacher described. I remember one day last year her coming home so mad at the art teacher. She did not WANT to draw the apple, she wanted to draw a princess. Why should she have to draw something so boring as an apple?

I blame myself (of course). Allie spent preschool and kindergarten in a Montessori school. She excelled under that program. But man did she work it! There is a reason Allie doesn’t do well in math. At Montessori she only worked on things she liked but never put the time in for the work. When the decision came for first grade we figured she needed a bigger pond and a lot more disciplined teaching style. Rather than going full out discipline (think Catholic nunnery) we opted for the public school.

Allie had a hard adjustment academically. Socially she is a butterfly (probably again why academics are difficult! She is too busy with her friends).  I hadn’t realized how far behind she was in the math areas. Reading though, man she reads two grade levels ahead. When you can force her to do it, then she won’t put the book down. (guilty here I let her slack this summer) 

My parents are going to be here for the first day of school. Boo’s school starts at the same time. I will be leaving them to put Allie on the bus and then escape to work.

Where I will be doing my happy dance that the girls are back in school. I will also start the acceptance speech for mom of the year. 

First, a quick update. The plague seems to be lifting.

Second, my mom is in grandma heaven. She had Boo to herself all yesterday afternoon while Allie & Husband rested. She hadn’t seen the girls in about 3 months. An eternity according to her and Allie.

Sometime I look at Boo’s life as a war. Made up of little battles that she has to win in order to make gains developmentally. When I am in the trenches I forget to look at (and sometimes acknowledge) the progress she has made. I am too focused on the next objective. But since my mom hasn’t seen Boo since she began the new SPED program she notices the changes right away. She is amazed how far Boo has come since May.

Of course, she is going to take Boo and Allie back-to-school shopping today. Alone. She may be wishing for the Boo who was content just to hang in the stroller by the end of the afternoon 🙂

The Plague has invaded our house. First Boo, then me and just when I thought it was safe to disinfect the house…Allie and husband came down with it last night. I finally escaped to work this morning. My poor mother is flying in this morning. I called to warn her of the Plague. She is coming anyway. She misses the girls and hasn’t seen them since May.

I cannot wait for her to see the changes is Boo. She has progressed so much with the summer program. The rest of the family is coming later in the week. But my mom wanted some Grandma time. With Boo on break and Allie still on summer vacation, mom has a lot of visiting planned.

I did warn her about the Plague. She is coming anyway.

Gotta love your mom!