Category Archives: acceptance

Third time’s the charm, I hope

I do not consider myself an athlete. I have never pushed Bridget’s older sister to compete, join a team or do anything but follow her passion. I do wish her passion wasn’t horses or adopting every stray animal, but I have been perfectly happy not having to sit on the sidelines at some cold and rainy soccer field.

It is easy, with Bridget, not to worry about typical events in children’s lives.  We have been so busy trying to make Bridget verbal and a member of society, we can forget to expose her to normal, run-of-the-mill life experiences.  Recently her SPED teacher told me that she thinks that parents with children who have disabilities forget to do the normal childhood fun, like sledding or skiing or just playing outside.  I tried to explain that, for me, having faced failure before it makes me less likely to try again.  It is definitely easier to just let her watch her I-Pad then to continue to expose her to experiences that are going to make her cry.  Last year we tried basketball, epic fail. We tried soccer and watched our little girl happier sitting on sidelines than kicking the ball.

Yet, I do not want Bridget to sit on the sidelines of life.  My entire goal with Bridget is to make her a functional member of society. I want her playing with other children, not lost in the world of videos.  Lucky for me our town recreation department is making a concerted effort to work with Special Olympics. For the winter they offered bowling.  We talked it over and felt, well she won’t get knocked over by her teammates, let’s give it a try.

She loved it.  I mean loved it more than Fig Newtons kind of love.  She might win the World Record for slowest bowling ball down an alley, but she had so much fun!

The next day she walked into her first grade class and actually shared what happened during circle time. “I go bowling with J”. Her teacher told me that Bridget’s excitement was beyond measure. Bridget articulated her story and added to the classroom activity.  Bonus, she retained what happened and will tell anyone she comes into contact with how she went bowling.

This is something we can do as a family. Bowling is not only accessible it does not need to be adapted for Bridget to access it. Except the gutter guards, but even I would benefit from that help.

I always want to have Bridget access “typical” experiences.  Special Olympics has taught me that by exposing her to adaptive experiences first she will have much more success.

 

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I am incredibly thankful to the Sandwich Recreation Department, their partnership with Massachusetts Special Olympics and for the generosity of Ryan Family Amusements for donating the lane time to let “special” families feel typical for a few hours on a Saturday. 

 

I’m Leaving a Light On for you

When you are the parent of a child who has a disability you can feel isolated. You begin to not go out, to not seek friends and scared of judgement. You don’t complain, because you fear people will think you are not a good mom. You try to promote your life as a Hallmark Channel movie and not a Halloween one. Then the holidays come and you are slapped with the face of reality. How to get through the season when you feel so alone and trapped in this unexpected life. Continue reading

On learning to see the person first

It took having a second child for me to understand that disability did not mean inability. I am guilty, like many others, of seeing the chair before the person in it. I would look at those with a disability and not see the person first.

After my second daughter was born my definition of disability was reborn. This wasn’t a child to be pitied or thought to be unable.  This child could accomplish anything she set her mind to, whether it was walking or climbing up the wrong side of the stairs. She would defy doctors and our own expectations too often for us to begin putting limits on her ability. I wanted everyone to see Bridget, not the things that set her apart from her peers.

ef13a-118 Continue reading