Category Archives: autism

You are not alone

A year ago, Kelli Stapeleton failed to kill herself and her daughter. Issy recovered from her injuries and Kelli went to jail awaiting trial. Yesterday it is reported she plead guilty. Before you judge her and her situation, I ask that you read today’s Throw Back Thursday Post: Remember the Parent. Remember to offer to help before you offer to judge. Talk to that woman in the elevator. Offer support, a shoulder or empathy before offering judgement of a life you know nothing about.

More importantly to the mom who is facing a situation like Kelli, remember you are not alone. I’m here. I’m listening. Reach out now before it is too late. There are ways to get your village of support. There are people who understand. If you are desperate, know that you are not alone. You just have to call. You might not think so, you might be in such a dark place that you think you are alone that no one understands. You are wrong, so wrong.

The Good Smaratians 1-877-870-4673 or the National Suicide Prevention 24/7 hotline for assistance: 1-877-273-TALK Or please utilize the Autism Speaks Crisis Intervention to find more avenues of support.

Or contact me, Kerri at firebailey@gmail.com I might not be able to help but I can listen. I can be there. I can help you find support.

Just know that you are not alone.

The post below was originally posted 23-SEP-2013

I’ve been really hesitant to write this post. First, I hate to jump on a bandwagon. I also hate being late to a party, even a pity one. Mostly, though, I do not ever want to come across as ungrateful or one that complains.

Truthfully, I have absolutely nothing to complain about. I am beyond lucky. I acknowledge that my situation is as wonderful as it is rare. I have a terrific village who supports my sanity. When life gets overwhelming I have some one within a text, an e-mail, a call or a walk to lean on. I get date nights with my husband and girls night in.

Not everyone is this lucky. They are isolated. They stay at home with their child, change how they go to Worship, do not attend family events, cannot find a babysitter and not even think about getting a pedicure. Moms like Kelli try to do everything right. They think that it is less disruptive for their child to stay home. They feel family gatherings are too hard to keep everything together and peaceful.

I do not know Kelli and only know about her circumstance from Julie, Jill and Kristi’s blogs. But I do know that not every child is like Boo. Some children with special needs are violent. They hurt themselves and those who love them the most.

When Kelli tried to kill herself and her daughter there was a lot of condemnation. People have a difficult time understanding suicide. Let alone a mom who tries to harm her child.

The sad truth is, Kelli is not the only one out there. Statistically children in the US with special needs account for almost 10% of those who are abused. And they are abused by their caregivers. This is not just the US. World-wide disabled children are harmed more often than typical.

This is just supposition on my part, but I believe the abuse and the killings and the suicides happen because the parent has little or no support. We are very lucky where we live. Our Boo has a terrific school, after school therapies and other support. But those therapists and teachers deal with our children hitting, spitting and hurting them. Yet they love our kids. They want our children to succeed.

Parents and caregivers are becoming the walking wounded, suffering from post-traumatic stress of living and working with a child who punches, kicks, sets fire to the house and destroys relationships. We love our children. We hate what their disability makes them do.

There is a difference.

There is also a reason why persons who work with children and adults with special needs have an extremely high burnout rate.

While our children in the US have a tremendous amount of government support available (if you know where to ask) for them, there is zero support for the caregiver. I am not talking about financial. I am talking about emotional support. That shoulder that you need to lean on.

Since I have that support I know full well what those of you without it must be feeling. Know that you are not alone but you have to let us know you need it. My friends know because I go to them. I break with Boo’s therapists and vent to her aides. Sure a few will reach out, but the responsibility is mine to say I cannot do it on my own.

So I implore you, the Kelli’s out there, to know you are not alone. But you need to scream and raise the white flag.

And if you know a parent out there with a child who has special needs reach out. Stop by their house tonight with a pizza and a bottle of wine. Stop by and check in on them. Keep inviting them to events, even if they have to say no. Remember that e-mail is great, but you can hide there. Call, speak to them. Make sure they know you are available to listen without judgment.

Let what happened to Kelli be a lesson to all of us to reach out before there is no one there to catch.

When they are not perfect

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I recently received a panicked text from a good friend of mine. Her son had just been “maybe” diagnosed with Asperger’s. My friend didn’t understand why she was so upset. She had long suspected something was off (?) with her son. He was certainly different in social situations than her other children. (One of whom is a diva extraordinaire) She had questioned doctors before and always been told “no”. But she kept asking because in her heart she worried.

When she got the report she knew what it could contain. So why was she breaking in the supermarket parking lot?

My response: You were just told in black and white that your little boy isn’t perfect.

Now before everyone gets up in arms I am NOT saying that there is anything “wrong” with her son. I am not saying that having (or maybe having) autism means you are not perfect. In all honesty, every parent has a notion of what their child is and will be.

We never think they will have a disability, a syndrome or a diagnosis. They will be a princess, a prince, a cheerleader, a musician or the President of the United States.

When you first get that diagnosis it hurts. It hurts worse than any pain you can imagine, other than physically losing a child. There is a grieving process and you (she) have to allow yourself to go through it.

Then you get your big girl warrior panties on and figure out what needs to be done.

I believe that I had it easier than most. At birth I knew there was something wrong (for lack of a better word) with Boo. I knew immediately there were health issues. Serious ones, that became non-serious. By three months I knew she was not developing correctly. I was better prepared that my child had a disability. I knew that Boo would be intellectually disabled long before the doctor broke the news to us. That she has come so far has been a miracle to me.

Yet still the autism diagnosis threw me for a loop. My defense at the time was that I had been told multiple times that Boo had something but it was not autism. Then it was. And it was okay. It was okay to struggle, to cry and to wonder what now?

My friend’s son has not been officially diagnosed. He might have Asperger’s or he might not. More testing is needed, should she decide they need a definitive answer. Either way, I said to her, you were just told in black and white your little boy isn’t perfect.

Except he is, perfection just has a different definition now.

My Challenge: Echo

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Today’s My Challenge is from Echo a mom blogger who writes about the joys and tears of home schooling two children, one with autism and one with a diva issue.

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My biggest challenge and my greatest love…

When Kerri asked me if I would be willing to participate in this series, I was ecstatic. I think that opening up and sharing our struggles and challenges is a great way to help each other grow as parents.

My son. My handsome, smart, charming and stubborn son is on the Autism Spectrum. He has PDD-NOS (formerly diagnosed as Asperger’s Syndrome). He is extremely high functioning, but also has a lot of sensory processing and social interaction issues.

My daughter. My gorgeous, intelligent, dramatic and independent daughter is NT (Neuro-Typical). She has hit all of her milestones and continues to grow and progress.

My biggest challenge is also my greatest love, raising my two children. Raising a child on the spectrum is hard for anyone, add in sibling rivalry and it can be complete chaos. I have to navigate so many issues, that at times, I feel like I am nothing but a referee.

Try dealing with the emotions of an over dramatic 8 year old when he realizes that his 3 year old sister is faster than him. Try dealing with his frustration when his 3 year old sister starts riding her bike and he cannot.

Imagine trying to get your strong-willed 3 year old to stop touching her brother a certain way. Imagine trying to break up a fight between a 3 year old and an 8 year old because the 3 year old took her MegaBlocks back.

Feel the heartache when you watch one child achieve something that the other could not. Feel the confusion because you don’t want to treat them differently, but you have to because of age. Feel the frustration when your 8 year old constantly yells at your 3 year old and your 3 year old constantly pushes your 8 year old’s buttons.

My children are my greatest love and I would not change either of them. However, trying to raise them together, equally is truly my greatest challenge.

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When Echo sent me her post she wondered if it was “right” for the series. After reading it I replied it was freaking awesome. I think all of us with multiple children have the challenge of raising them the same but different. Add in a disability and YIKES it can sometimes (most times) seem overwhelming.

Thank you, Echo for sharing your challenge today. You can read more about Echo at Mad Mommy where she shares everything from the 100 lb challenge to home schooling.

What's your challenge is a series that was inspired by a program I created at Abby's school. I am amazed at how honest and hopeful the challenges have been. Thank you to all who have contributed. To submit your challenge, please e-mail me at firebailey@gmail.com

TBT–Just deal

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Throw-back Thursday, this post was originally published on 10-OCT-2012. It’s about the time Abby became Boo’s advocate. For real. As in stand up for her sister to adults. This was probably one of the first times I realized that Abby was a warrior sister.

Boo had a tough week, so far. This weekend was wonderful, visiting my parents. The girls were spoiled for the short time we were there. Even though we were only gone for a couple of days, it was enough to mess with Boo.

To add to her difficult week, yesterday not only did she have to travel 3+ hours to Children’s for a GI check-up afterwards she had to take Abby to an orthodontist appointment. After spending 12+ hours in the car driving home from being spoiled, to spend 6+ (round trip) hours in the car then have to pick up Abby and just to sit in another waiting room for Abby was a bit much to ask of her.

While in the orthodontist waiting room, Boo was….shall we say….exuberant in her joy over a book of puppies. I don’t think the receptionist or the other families in the waiting room have ever experienced such exuberance. I was just happy that Boo was in the stroller (although I had a funny moment when I imagined their experience of an unconstrained Boo). Rather than being embarrassed I was so proud at how Boo was labeling the things in the book. Okay, I was embarrassed at the volume of her expression. But I was proud too 🙂

When it was time to leave, I asked if there happened to be a handicapped entrance/exit. Abby and I had to carry Boo’s stroller up 5 steps to enter the office building. The look of utter surprise from the receptionist face was priceless. Turns out, the building is not handicap accessible. Something that would not have occurred to me pre-Boo. Now we are lucky, I could have either carried Boo into the building or she could have walked. But that would have meant that Boo would be racing around the office (as would anyone after spending so much time in a car seat). So instead, Abby helped me get the stroller up and then down the stairs.

As Abby and I were carrying Boo’s stroller back down the stairs she commented on how Boo was so loud, she could hear her way in the back of the office. I asked if the doctor said anything about it, here is Abby’s reply:

They asked if the person making all that noise was Boo and I said yes. Then they said, wow she is really loud. I told them she was special needs–just deal with it.

Any embarrassment I may have felt faded in that moment. Abby is right, we have to deal with their building not being handicap friendly and they just have to deal too.

Sorry I don’t have a process.

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My first ever for-real blogging friend Kristi recently tagged me in a post for me to explain my writing process. I thought it was cool she thought I had one. Kristi is not even in the same stratosphere that I am in when it comes to the blogging world. But she pretends even though she started blogging three months after me and then became wicked famous we are on the same planet.

Kristi is the mom of Tucker, a quirky artist, the founder of Our Land (which I get credit for telling her to go for it) and the person most likely to be sitting next to you in jail after a Billy Idol concert.

Okay here are the questions I am supposed to answer.

1. What am I working on? Well I was working on trying to do the Twisted Mix Tapes correctly for my friend Jen Kehl. But then she got retired the series. I hope it wasn’t my fault. It was either that I messed them up for finally got them right. Either way I have some Catholic Guilt going on about the end of the series.

Seriously though, I am working on making the What’s Your Challenge series a phenomenon online and in real life. I love that people are being so open with how we are all so freaking similar in our struggles. That all of us have a challenge (or two). But that our Challenge doesn’t define who we are deep inside. I hope it makes someone stop for just a moment and instead of assuming or judging they stop and say, “how can I help”.

2. How does my work differ from others of it’s genre? Truthfully it doesn’t. I think all bloggers share a commonality. We blog about families, for example. Even blogs dedicated to special needs have a common focus. For my blog I think it is a mix. I try to educate via the Challenge. I try to show that there is both heartbreak and joy in parenting Boo. I didn’t start my blog to share about Abby. But she is just too hysterical not to share. I also try to show that you can survive anything with a little bit of humor.

Most importantly I try to use my blog to show that you are never alone. You just have to find your village. Through this process my village has grown to be a small town of support.

So I think my work differs because it isn’t about one thing. My blog doesn’t fit a niche. Instead I just share the everyday moments that make up our life with Boo.

3. Why do I write what I do? I can’t help myself. That is the honest answer. David always says I have no filter. That carries over to my writing. I feel like I have to write. To show people that Boo is not just a child with special needs. That Abby is not just the perfect big sister but that she also comes by her sense of being sarcasm naturally.

But more, that it is okay to break now and again. That it is okay to say this sucks sometimes. That when your child goes five years without a diagnosis and then some doctor says they think she is autistic it is okay to flounder. I believe so many warrior moms think they always have to be strong. I write to show them yes be strong, but also break and lean on others.

I also write because David and the girls give me so much material. I mean really, how many moms can write about the time their husband who swore the math problem was a trick question?

4. How does your writing process work? Okay, still cracking up that Kristi thinks I have a process.

I seriously do not have one. There are just moments that resonate that I have to share. If the post is controversial I will usually send it to Kristi with a “should I” or “would you” hit publish? If it is a post I think will make my mom cry I send it to Tia first with the same question.

I do not do a lot of editing. What you read is exactly how a conversation would go if we met in public. I want my blog to be authentic. To be me. If you saw me in the supermarket we could begin a conversation without awkwardness. There are some posts that I write in my head first. Then I get in front of the keyboard and BAM. It’s either great or not.

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And now it is time for me to give a shout out and tag my fellow bloggers to ask them about their process. I’m totally cheating and stealing Kristi’s questions.

First up is my friend K from Transcending CP. K is beyond awesome. She is one of the reasons I started the Challenge program at Abby’s school. K is a college student who enjoys fried clams and making my heart grow ten times to big by reading her blog. If you ever feel that life might be unfair but it something worth living this is the one blog you should read.

Next up is Kate from Another Clean Slate. One day I asked Kate to run a Mullet race. She ran but refused the mullet. Funny thing is she still talks to me! Kate is like me. Kind of an open book, which we both love to read. She is a super cool urban professional and writes about everything life is: wine, books, food and fun.

Last up at bat because they are hitting a home run is my boyo Isaiah at Isaiah Dot Com only because I have to know how he comes up with the way that makes his mom reply there is no maggot season. I cannot wait to see how he replies to some of the questions. He can think of it as summer homeschooling for kids of bloggers.

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And that is is. That is my writing process which means there isn’t one. With a few tags in the mix to keep the game going. Thanks, Kristi for being my go-to girl.

TBT–Out of the Mouths of Babes

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Welcome to Throw Back Thursday, blog style.

(Originally posted 18-JUL-2012)

Abby is taking some summer help in math at a local school. This morning when I dropped Abby off she was telling me about the kids in her class. Some were from her current class and others she didn’t know. Abby said that there was only one other girl, a bunch of boys and one weird boy.

Weird boy, I asked, do you mean the boy with Down syndrome?

What’s that? Abby replied.

Well he is special needs, like Boo, I explained

Oh, is that why he has a teacher just for him in the class? (Yup) That makes sense now. I thought there was something different but couldn’t figure it out. Why didn’t they tell me so I could help him?

This conversation floored me on many levels. First, Abby has intuitively known that there is something special about Boo and has accepted her without conditions. I automatically assumed that she would recognize and accept it in another child. Second, Abby attends enough of Boo’s therapy appointments to see other children like this boy. I was completely astounded that she even had to ask, or worse in her mind label this boy as “weird”.

Abby has been a staunch defender of Boo. She would never let one of her friends use that term with her sister, so why did she do it with a boy she just met? Have I failed in some way in to prepare and nurture her to accept all others like she does Boo?

Of course, I asked Abby. Not that specifically, but why she did she not understand that this boy was special. She thought because he was so big and not little like Boo he was just a boy. I asked (just to make sure) that she hadn’t made fun of this boy. She was quick to say no, but that she wished that the teacher had told her because the other boys in the class did. Abby was so cute, telling me that she would make sure it didn’t happen again! We had a long talk about Boo and how would Abby feel if one of her classmates called Boo “weird”.

But it made me think, is inclusion working? Are the teachers and other parents explaining to their children that not all children can run, read, speak like others. Whose responsibility is it really? Mine, in some way because while I can educate/prepare Abby and she can then teach her peers. But neither Abby, her dad or I can go into Boo’s class and wake up the other children/parents. I can only be responsible for the children who interact with Boo in my presence.

Is it the teacher’s responsibility? Certainty, but how can they do this without embarrassing (not the right word, but hopefully you get my point!) the child in question. Abby thought the teacher should have let the kids know. But by privacy laws, they cannot.

I think the biggest obstacle is that the other parents are not on the playground or in the classroom with their children. So they might not even be aware, like me, that their child may be prejudging some one. Think about it, if you do not have a special child would you think to educate your ‘typical’ child about a child with Downs, CP, and autism or like Boo one who is undiagnosed? I will admit that before Boo I cannot honestly say I would have said something to Abby until she asked/made a comment in my presence.

I think as children get older they may become more aware (and yes, mean). But at Abby’s age it is just a sense of innocence where they don’t really notice differences in others until the difference is glaringly obvious.

Boo is in an integrated preschool with a not so equal ratio of special/typical kiddos. Even there I notice that some parents look at us askew when Boo is not participating like their ‘typical’ kid in the class. Once a child asked their mom what was wrong with Boo and the mother, instead of educating, told the child to ‘hush’.

So I don’t know what the answer is, if integration is worth it or how to educate the world at large that Boo just has a different sense of typical.

My Challenge: Eric

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I consider myself very lucky today. I have read a lot about autism from the perspective of the parent, the teacher, the doctor, etc…but today I want to introduce you to Eric. A young man who recently graduated high school and entered the work force.

My Challenge: Autism

My name is Eric and my challenge is having autism. Sometimes I have a hard time coming up with the words to say what I am feeling. Sometimes I think people are acting a certain way for a certain reason and my mom and dad tell me that it is probably not for that reason.

I graduated from high school in May of 2013 and I did a lot of volunteer work. I finally got a paying job last month and now I work as a dishwasher three nights a week. I really like that I’m finally getting paid. I am looking forward to my checkbook balance going up. One day I would like to own my own car instead of driving one that my mom and dad own.

I like being able to drive myself and get around. I’ve been driving for two years now and I haven’t had an accident. I am a very good driver.

My favorite things to do are golf, bowling, watching movies, hanging out with my cat, working puzzles, building models and making things. I created this marionette puppet out of pipe cleaners.

I thought it was pretty cool and brought it to school to show off.

I need people to be willing to explain things to me different ways so I can understand, but then I am just as capable as any other teenager to do jobs. I like being useful at home and at work.

It is a challenge to have autism and sometimes I wish I didn’t have it but I am learning to live with it.

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Wow. Eric. Just. Wow. Thank you for being so cool and honest about living with Autism. How it makes you, well, you but it also changes how the world perceives you. Here’s the thing, though. Almost every one of us knows some one with Autism. They are learning next to you in school but then they grow up. Just like you. They get jobs, they have a fulfilling life. A person with autism has just as much impact on the world as one who doesn’t, thank you Eric for showing that. And good luck on your new job!

To find more information about Autism, please visit The Organization for Autism Research.

What's your challenge is a series that was inspired by a program I created at Abby's school. I am amazed at how honest and hopeful the challenges have been. Thank you to all who have contributed. To submit your challenge, please e-mail me at firebailey@gmail.com

Being okay doesn’t mean being satisfied

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A few months ago I wrote a post titled Paging Dr. House. One of the most fantastic benefits of blogging is when a reader might not comment but instead send you a lifeline. To protect her privacy, “T” wrote to me shortly after that post and encouraged me not to give up. Not to despair. But more than a pat on the shoulder “T” gave me the name of a doctor who might be willing to review Boo’s history. She may have found our Dr. House.

So last week we took a little 20 hour road trip hoping to find an answer to what is Boo.

We were worried, to be honest. David was nervous of walking into a Justina Pelletier issue. I was excited, we might have an answer. A little nervous that we were making a huge monetary investment in a hoax. Then I got excited again. Until the day we left and I realized that answer might be that Boo has only five years left of life. I wasn’t quite ready for that news. I sent a panicked text to Tia who replied: BREATHE.

Thankfully our fears never came true. Instead we were given a new hope: finding an answer. We might not, the doctor was very honest with us. However just looking at Boo she said she was confident that not only did Boo have a syndrome but that the answer was out there. Not five years from now, but as near as six months.

For the first time in too long a Doctor got it. A Doctor looked at Boo from her beautiful hair, to her teeth, to her fingers and toes. A Doctor didn’t talk with just me, but looked at Boo and spent time (almost 2 hours) with her. She noticed that Boo grinds her teeth, that her hands/feet are slightly webbed, that she is the best hugger and has bowed legs. She took out her medical books, laid them on the desk and said, “I’ve seen this characteristic before….” and “wait let me think about this…”

She was also honest and said we might not find the answer today but that it was important to never stop searching. She understood the why of it all. That to get Boo the best life possible we cannot be in the dark. We need to be aware of what she has so we give her the best chance at living her life that is this beautiful miracle.

This Doctor was clear: While Boo’s tremendous advances may have “ruled her out” for certain syndromes that might not be true. Without her therapies and schooling she would not be where she is today. Her advances might be in spite of a syndrome rather than because of one. She was also honest: She might not find the answer but that didn’t mean the answer isn’t out there somewhere.

She solidified for us that we have to continue to be warrior parents. That the hole in her heart may be “trivial” but it is important, that her temperature issues might be manageable but they are important, that Boo has dysmorphic features and they are important. In her terms, Boo has “structural issues” and these are due to a genetic syndrome and not by chance. That we need the answers because one day these “trivial” issues might prove to be catastrophic. That it is our job as parents to continue to be the thorn in the medical establishment’s side. She understood on an intimate level that this is our child, the most important child in the universe.

Boo will have to undergo more laboratory testing. The tests take about six months to result. The six months will be worth the wait, even if the answer is we don’t know. At least we found someone who won’t stop looking with us. We will know we have exhausted every option, for now.

Maybe, just maybe I will have to change the name of this blog from Undiagnosed but Okay to something more appropriate.

Won’t that be a cool problem to have?

Thank you, “T”. You know who you are. Thank you for reaching out and “stalking” until you found me on Facebook to offer us a lifeline. When I was in despair and worried you were willing to take time out of your life to offer me hope. I won’t forget it and hope to pay it forward someday.

My Challenge: Laura

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Today’s challenge comes from a fellow warrior mom: Laura. Her son is gorgeous. Like a mini-Elvis gorgeous. You know before he got old. Laura is an incredible photographer, gorgeous inside and out. Her smile lights up a room. Like many of us, she has a challenge that I am so thankful she is willing to share.


My Challenge : Undiagnosed Postpartum depression.






My challenge is a common one. One that crops up among new moms
everywhere. But many of us who experience it are completely unprepared. Sure,
we all read the books. We spend months agonizing over what colors we should
paint our nurseries. Should we nurse or bottle-feed? What kind of diapers
should be buy? Moby wrap or Ergo Carrier? There’s a thousand decisions to make
concerning BABY when getting ready to have a child. But a little known thing
happens to us once that baby comes out.. Our hormones go haywire. And
sometimes, they stay that way. It’s shocking and unexpected. I say it’s
unexpected because “THEY” don’t warn us. “THEY” meaning the baby experts. There
is a 500+ page book on all of our bookshelves talking about every detail to
expect when you’re expecting - but the chapter on the postpartum baby blues
isn’t given any real fanfare. And, well, maybe it should.




Like most moms in their last trimester, I was anxious for my baby
to come early. I really wanted to deliver somewhere around the 38 week mark.
That didn’t happen. 41 weeks and then some, I was induced. 24 hours later, we
were talking c-section. So, right from the start nothing was going as planned.
I was fine with that knowing soon I’d have my little boy in my arms. I cried
the next 4 days in the hospital. The nurses assured me it was normal to be a
little ‘weepy’. But I was totally confused.. This was such a joyous event and I
was full of anxiety and was on the verge of a meltdown anytime someone new
walked into my room.. I stuffed it down - not wanting to appear weak. I got
this. I can handle motherhood. Whatever this emotional shit is, it’s gonna have
to take a hike.




We went home.. The crying continued. I looked at my husband
sleeping soundly next to me as I had a 6 day old infant attached to me. I
quietly thought to myself, “What if I just returned him to those nurses... They
know so much more about how to handle this.. We are completely unprepared” and
I cried some more. 




I went to my follow up OB appointment. She asked me how I was
feeling. It was the first time anyone asked me that.. I choked back the hard
lump of tears that was still so readily available and said, “I’m ok. I cry a
little. But I’m ok”.. It was a lie. I was a mess. But I was terrified. The
crazy hormones in me made me believe if I showed her I was weak, she would take
this baby away from me. And I wasn’t very much in love with motherhood yet, but
I didn’t want to be fired from it just yet.




The days turned into a blur. I started to walk outside. I found my
way to a nursing support group and that helped a ton. But every night the
anxiety would return. Was this really for us? Did we make the right decision?
Yes, of course we did. But I would obsess over whether I could do a good-enough
job. All these other mothers around me all seemed to have it soo together. It
just seemed an insurmountable task to be a good mother.. 




Somehow - we made it through the first year. And then another. I
casually accepted my emotional status as just ‘a mom in love with her kid’. It
wasn’t that. I had postpartum depression. Big time. I never was formally
diagnosed because I never admitted it to anyone but myself. 




Being in a baby group has it’s advantages in that you can watch
your child’s development alongside other children their age. For us, this was
another trigger for my depression.. My son was no where near where these other
children were in every area of development. It was no surprise when he was
diagnosed with autism at age 2.5 . But those waves of anxiety were flooding
back. Except this time, my son was really relying on me to keep it together so
we both could get the help we needed. 




In my frenzy of setting up a list of therapy appointments for him,
I found myself a therapist whom I still see today. And a girlfriend introduced
me to the world of essential oils (which I originally passed off as hippie
juice for a while - but I’ve since turned the corner and am now addicted). I
can self-manage the anxiety when it hits hard. My down-swing periods are not
nearly as frequent and I recognize them when they’re coming. 



Postpartum
depression is a very real thing. It’s not a fun part of preparing for a baby,
so, nobody really gives it a good discussion. But it’s worth reading that
chapter in the book. And to be honest with your doctors about how you feel
afterward. I may not have been prepared for what came following my son’s birth,
but I know now that I can overcome some serious stuff. 




And that’s a beautiful realization.

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Isn't she wicked awesome? For those not from New England there is no higher compliment. I am so happy to know Laura and to have her be open and honest about her challenge. Approximately 15% of women suffer from postpartum depression. That is ONE in every SEVEN women. With that statistic you probably know at least one fellow mom who need your help. I am very grateful Laura found her village.

I am proud to call her friend, thank you Laura.

For more information about postpartum depression see your doctor as soon as possible. Help is available, even answers if you feel concerned about yourself or your child. There is also an enormous amount of information available online. It is most important to remember: you are not alone, you have done nothing wrong and you should never feel ashamed. Please visit Postpartum Progress for more resources.

What's your challenge is a series that was inspired by a program I created at Abby's school. I am amazed at how honest and hopeful the challenges have been. Thank you to all who have contributed. To submit your challenge, please e-mail me at firebailey@gmail.com