Boo has had a bunch of appointments over the past two weeks. More of the same, she is doing great/keep doing what you are doing. The thing is, and here I am being selfish and a total nitwit, Boo hasn’t ‘evolved’. What I mean to say is that yes, she has had a language explosion and she is doing great. I am not trying to minimize her gains at all. But when you look at the whole picture she is still in the 18m to 2Y developmentally.
Yes she has made gains, but she hasn’t advanced. She seems “stuck” at this stage. I know I need to be patient and keep doing what I am doing. But if her developmental growth is starting to stagnate does that mean anything or is it that the gains are more noticeable at 6m old than they are at 4 & 1/2?
If we “judge” (seriously, my word of the freaking week) by the developmental scale for a 1-3YO: she can walk alone, but not run. Boo can kick a ball, but does not have awareness of self. She cannot find a hidden object 2-3 levels deep (what the hell?) but can if it is behind your hand. Does she play make believe? Again, no.
Then I (idiot that I am) looked up the 3-5 YO developmental scale. (file under what were you thinking?). Walks up and down stairs alternating feet, no but neither does my dad. Climbs well? Check! Bends over without falling, no but then neither do I. Understands his/hers, no. Matches an object to a picture, sometimes. Can take turns, sometimes (but both Allie & Hubs have trouble with that concept.
And let’s not even put the whole potty training thing into the mix.
Okay, I know I should stop the pity party…but I feel so, I don’t know…if down is the right word. The developmental doctor wanted Boo to start at-home services. At first I was like no way, when do I have time for that? But because she was so insistent that I arrange it, I called the services. Guess what Boo isn’t eligible. Now I was ticked off that here the doctor wants her to have services and she can’t get them. Of course, the fact that I didn’t want them in the first place is totally irrelevant.
Gosh, I feel like a teenager. Not wanting something and then getting ticked that I didn’t get it.
Anyway, I am sitting at home having a pity party for myself and totally mad at myself for having it. I know I should be happy that Boo is safe and healthy and home. She is not on a feeding tube, oxygen or sitting in a chair staring at the wall. Her issues are so minute compared to what other children are triumphing over.
But, seriously, sometimes it just gets tough to be the upbeat supermom.