If I had a magic wand I would wave it and take away my doubts. Tonight during Allie’s riding lesson I was pushing Boo around in her chair. We strolled around the barn and fields as Allie got her horse ready and I watched another little girl get her horse. She was small and just a little older than Boo and I began to wonder.

Am I making Boo more handicapped than she is?

Don’t misunderstand me. Boo is definitely intellectually delayed. Physically she has the coordination of a 2-3YO. Boo works really hard at being Boo. But as I watched her in her chair I began to doubt myself. I worried that I was the reason she is delayed.

Quite simply, the chair is easier for me. Out of the chair she tries to get into the horse’s paddock, the practice ring and ewww the horse manure. Fifteen minutes into Allie’s lesson and Boo will be asking to be picked up. Then down again. Then up.

So I take the lazy way out and put her in the chair. I wheel her around visiting the horses and watching the different lessons. I am not teaching Boo boundaries and respectable behavior. I am not holding her to the same standard I would Allie.

I take into consideration Boo’s estimated developmental age and when I compare that to what I expected of Allie at that age I realize I am setting the bar low.I mean really low, like on the ocean floor where only scary monsters live. If I ballpark Boo’s developmental age, at 3-ish Allie was expected to behave in public. She would have to walk next to me in the grocery store and would have to do the 3 bite rule at meal times.

Yet I don’t.

Because it is easier. Because I love holding Boo, even if my left hip aches at the end of the night. Because I am getting great biceps lifting Boo. Because I treasure this moment when she is a mommy’s girl and want it to last forever and a day.

I know that I shouldn’t compare Boo to that little girl at the barn (and this is just one example where I take the easy way out). I should be proud of all Boo has accomplished, more than anyone ever expected. In my heart I know I am holding Boo her own standard, the one that is right for her. It’s in my head that I have doubts and worries.

I worry that I am holding her back. I doubt in my ability to give Boo what she needs. That by taking the easy way out I am not allowing Boo to flourish.

On the upside she didn’t fall into the manure.

This is how I finished the sentence, “If I had a magic wand….” for Finish That Sentence Friday. How would you?

Like sands from the hour glass, so are the days of our lives…

Today Allie is in fourth grade. FOURTH. It is kind of surreal. This is the first year I’ve ever had that “uh-oh” moment. I know, the rest of the real moms out there cried at kindergarten and first grade. Heck you probably cried the first time you put the baby in daycare.

Me? Not so much. Kindergarten was easy because Allie had transitioned from her daycare to preschool to kindergarten all within the same building.

Look, my little girl first day of Kindergarten with no hair!

First grade I was a little nervous. It was the first time I put Allie on the bus without knowing her teachers, friends and who the parents were. But Allie was so excited, she didn’t even wave to me as she got on the bus.

(there would be a photo here if the child had noticed me as she got on the bus)

This year, for some reason, is different. I noticed the change about a week ago. Allie asked if her skin looked clearer. Ummmmm how does one answer that question? When I said yes (phew right answer) she told me she had washed her face.  The conversation went:

ME: You washed your face?
ALLIE: Yes
ME: Why?
ALLIE: Well, mom you know I’m going into fourth grade. Eventually I have to stop acting like a little girl.
ME: You couldn’t start with brushing your teeth?
ALLIE: MMMMMMOOOOOOMMMMMMM

Then four days ago the girl started wearing lip gloss. Lip gloss! And started doing her hair. And I mean using shampoo without being threatened and then putting in barrettes and hair bands in her hair.

Two days ago doing the last minute backpack book bag shopping she started thumbing through a teen magazine at the checkout stand.

The day before school started she organized her book bag (a messenger bag, goodbye Selena Gomez back-pack), got a mirror and brush for her locker, laid out her dress and boots with gems on them all without being asked.

Once I recovered from the shock I told her it was time to take her shower. She asked if she could get up early for school and shower. Then I can blow dry and curl her hair.

I wonder if my daughter has been a victim of the body snatchers. This is not my girl. Yesterday, the first day of school, Allie got up early. She showered herself and washed her hair, face and everywhere! We blew dry her hair, tried to get a curl into it and she got herself all dolled up with peach lip gloss. It was then I realized….

Holy crap I’ve got a tween.

I don’t think I am the only one who is on summer burnout. Keeping the girls entertained occupied all summer while working, dealing with working mom guilt and discovering Twitter has sapped my creative energy.  On top of it all, my mom was stuck on Facebook games and needed me to give her extra lives.

Then Jen posted an, and I quote, EASY PEASY mix-tape. The best of…

But the best of what? The 80’s (we just did that through the decades). The best you suck songs (done). The best stalker songs (done, wrong week, but it was done). Or should I do the best songs to send your best friend? Again, been there done that.

Jen I need direction! You know with out explicit instructions I get confused and mess up your rules of the mix-tape.

Today is the first day of school for Allie. Yes, she survived enjoyed the summer! So how about I make a mix tape called…

Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen

Love Story by Taylor Swift (okay, anything by Taylor)

Ready or Not by Bridget Medler

Love you like a love song by Selena Gomez

Cruisin for a bruisin by Ross Lynch

This is my dance floor by Bella Thorne and Zendaya

Okay, probably should have warned you that Allie is addicted to the Disney Channel. Here’s the thing, I told you she was in Fourth Grade…..but I apologize that you now have Call Me Maybe stuck in your head.

On the other hand, you should be happy that I don’t let Allie listen to Miley Cyrus ever since Hannah Montana stopped wearing underwear.

What is on your best of mix tape? Join me over at My Skewed View and get on the ultimate DJ’s playlist. It’s not so easy peasy, though.

I should start this post by saying I love my mother-in-law. I truly do. However if she doesn’t start paying attention the rules I am sending her to the worse nursing home I can find.

Do you remember this?

Well she outdid herself this time. Allie has wanted a Baby Alive for (and I quote) her whole entire life. Mean mother that I am, I have banned Baby Alive from the house. After all I have two children, a dog and husband that I already have to feed, bathe and clean up after. Why on Earth would I import another one?

One that cries, eats and pees. Because just like the fish (now deceased), dog and baby sister Allie just had to have, I know who will end up having to take care of a Baby Alive.

Did I mention the child has 268 30 dolls in her room? Why can’t she just play with the ones she has I will never know. Plus Allie is 9. Exactly when do girls stop playing with baby dolls? I know the answer actually. She stopped playing with dolls a couple years ago. She just hasn’t stopped collecting them!

Back to my mother-in-law, whom I do adore. The other day she babysat Allie and when I went to pick her up guess what was in her arms?



Photo credit

Now my mother-in-law loves a sale, a yard sale. She especially loves anything that is free. Apparently one of her friends bought 2 Baby Alives and got one free. As the doll was not in a box but in a gift bag without any accessories I have a feeling that this may not be the whole truth. Close to the truth, but not the whole truth.

What I do know is that “Lilly” is now residing in Allie’s room and began crying in the middle of the night.

Guess who slept through her baby’s cries? If you guessed everyone but me you get a gold star.

For now my mother-in-law is safe, in her own home. Soon however she may need respite care. If she doesn’t start following the rules it might be more spite than respite.

Allie: This is why I like it when Grammie babysits. She says I can stay up until 8:30 then she falls asleep and I get to stay up until 10 or 9 central time.

It’s that time of the week. To take a moment and think of just 10 things I am thankful happened this week. In no particular order, although I wish I was in a Particular Harbor….

10. There are only 10 days left before the girls go back to school. They just may make it.

9. Going off the grid for a week.

8. Campfires and the friends that sit by them. Until 2am.

7. Boo fell in love with the movie Grease. Her IPAD being the only technology allowed while camping.

6. That Boo doesn’t understand the storyline, lyrics or innuendos in Grease.

5. Floating down the river with Boo, Allie, David and David’s sister. I just really wish Boo hadn’t sent my Margarita into the river. Next year she floats with Sherry.

4. That there are no photos of me falling into the river when Boo and I got stuck on the rocks.

3. That we noticed one of the floats had a hole in it before we started down the river.
 
2. That Allie had the time of her life going from Campsite #1 to #18 playing with her friends.

1. That there are only 12 more months before we once again go off the grid with 30+ of our closest friends.

We took a week away from the world. A week where we hung with friends, floated in the river, drank margaritas at noon and wine at dinner. A week where Allie ran from campsite to campsite visiting all her friends. A week where Boo broke into a newly engaged couple’s tent and made their air mattress and tent into her personal bounce house.

A week without TV, Internet, Cell Service. (Saving grace, we had power and running water)

I really wasn’t myself when I came home. See I enjoy all the comforts of home. I am addicted to reading my friends blogs and writing my own. I check my e-mail and texts constantly. I am constantly thinking of things I should be doing at work and at home.

But last week I wasn’t myself. I was away from all that worry and hurry. I was a mom hanging with her kids during the day and a wife hanging with her husband by the campfire at night. I laughed with friends, slept past 6AM and sat down for more than a minute.

I was the me I wish I could be more often.

Then we came back. The first thing I did while driving back into the real world was turn on my phone and review all the e-mails that procreated like bunnies while the phone was off.

We pulled into the driveway and I immediately started cleaning, organizing, doing laundry and getting ready for work the next day. At work I realized that I am not irreplaceable but that I still had 200+ e-mails to return.

It took just 20 minutes to undo the relaxation of being away from technology for a week. To start prioritizing things over my girls. These things are important, too. After all the mortgage kind of depends on them. Boo needs her therapies. Allie needs the routine.

I am the planner, the budgeter, the organizer, the over thinker. Once in a while, though, I wish I wasn’t myself.

“Wait, if you are going to take my picture at least let me get my wand!”

Joy, my friend, has gifted me with the Versatile Blogger award. And of course there are rules to taking the award. Kind of like the thank you note your mom used to make you write your grandmother.

Rule #1. Thank and link the blogger. 
Rule #2. Tell seven facts about yourself
Rule #3. Pass it on to seven bloggers
Rule #4. Link to specific posts on their blogs so they’ll be notified by pingback

So here we go!

Rule #2 Here are 7 facts about me you probably would rather not know:

1. I am addicted to M&M’s
2. I paint my toenails but not my fingernails
3. I am wearing the ugliest t-shirt right now. Allie made it for Mother’s day. So you know, I am taking one for the mom team
4. I have never watched Mad Men, Downtown Abbey
5. I don’t understand why people go on reality TV then are surprised when they get arrested for not paying taxes.
6. I think mismatched socks trend was invented by a mom who decided to forget looking for that lost sock and convinced her daughter she was cool.
7. I have never been arrested. Yet.

Rule #3 pass this award to seven bloggers.

1. Julie at Julie’s Boyz
2. Kerry at Transcending CP
3. Tatum at Ain’t no Roller Coaster
4. Sylvia at Faithful Mom
5. Liz at Four Sea Stars
6. Misty at Meet the Cottons
7. Stacey at We are the Brothers B

I’m not too sure about the whole pingback thing. So dudettes you’ve been tagged 🙂

Oh and Joy, thanks for letting me blog-sit last week. I hope I didn’t leave too much of a mess.

I have this great friend, Jenn. I can use her real name because she was the second one on this Earth to learn about this blog and therefore knows she could end up on it.

Last weekend we spent the day freeloading off of Jenn’s family and their beach house. Yes, you may have noticed a trend of my freeloading activities. Hint: If you rent a beach house and tell me about it, I may show up. Even if it means a three hour drive.

You have been warned.

Anyway, back to Jenn. When I first had Allie I was a nervous wreck, sure I was going to screw this kid up. Jenn was a fountain of advice. And unfortunately for her, most of Allie’s first few years started with the phrase, “Jenn said….” to justify anything I did.

For the record I was not blaming Jenn, just proving to others that I was following sage advice since both her kids were healthy and not in jail.

After a spending the day in the rain (I swear Boo is paying off the rain Gods so she doesn’t have to go to the beach) hanging at the beach house the girls and I were ready to head home.

Since it was late I asked Jenn if I could have a can of Diet Coke so I could perk up for the ride home. Jenn said “NOOOOOOO!!!” But her mom said “Of course” (her mom might be the better hostess).

I drove home relishing in my first sip of Diet Coke in over four months. It was DELICIOUS. I slurped that baby down faster than an Irish man breaks his Lenten whiskey fast.

Two exits later I had to pee and since the girls were asleep there was not respite. I had to keep the car in motion, lest Boo woke up. Plus have you ever tried to pee in a New Hampshire rest area while holding a child who would rather be sleeping on your lap? Yeah, I crossed my legs and prayed for forgiveness.

Then then headache started. You know, the head that throbs because of the evil in Diet Coke. Yeah, that old friend. And I couldn’t blame the traffic because there was none (thank the Good Lord and all that is Holy).

I finally break all land-speed records (thank you to the Statey’s who didn’t pull me over) and make it home. Put the girls in their respective beds, told Bailey to cross his legs and VICTORY I made it to the powder room. (quick aside, why is it called a powder room? I’ve never had powder)

Put Bailey out, he is relieved and then we try to go to bed. When I mean try, I mean he fell asleep like the dog he is and I had a sleepless night. Tossing and turning, not being able to settle my mind, because of the Diet Coke caffeine.

Of course the next morning the girls were up at 6:30 am. Cause that is how they roll.

And now I am officially back on the Diet Coke abstinence wagon again.

The moral of the story?

The next time Jenn says anything do it.

And hope like hell she doesn’t say stop drinking wine.