Tag Archives: power

Just admit it, you messed up

I admit to not watching the Miss America pageant. I did however watch the following clip that was all over my Facebook feed the next morning.

I applauded this woman, who showed that beauty is more than skin deep. That she gave a two minute oral presentation, without cue cards or fanfare about her talent amazed me. My first thought was, YES! This is what a 21st century Miss America pageant should be promoting. Brains and beauty.

Listening to Miss Colorado’s talent made me remember how lucky we have been in Bridget’s life. The nurses who have shown her love, affection and comfort. The nurses who alerted the doctor (who was at home asleep) that Bridget was in distress. The nurse who held me as I broke in the NICU (and many times after that). The nurse who explained in terms I understood what was going on after Bridget’s surgery (when the doctor had left with her stethoscope) and how to care for my child whose spinal chord had just been operated on. The nurse who told me (each and every time) that no question/concern was trivial.

Then The View happened. First they mocked Miss Colorado for “reading her e-mails” and wearing a doctor’s stethoscope. Anyone who works in healthcare knows that a physician never has a stethoscope. If you see one around a doctor’s neck the most likely explanation is he stole borrowed it from a nurse. Second, instead of giving an apology to Miss Colorado (and nurses as a whole) their “apology” was that their comments were misconstrued.

Here is where the View went wrong: instead of making a joke they should have used that moment to encourage women everywhere to be more than a pretty face. The hosts should have highlighted Miss Colorado’s performance to demonstrate that other talents are cool (I for one would love to be able to play the violin) but those talents may not change society.  Miss Colorado’s talent has immediate impact on the world around us.  Little beauty queens may decide to take up one of the noblest professions. Girls at home saw a gorgeous woman who was more the the pageant.  Miss Colorado showed young women how a true professional looks: not only can she rock a bathing suit she can save a life.

Both are important.  Self-confidence, just like beauty, comes from within. Miss Colorado showed young women everywhere not to judge a person’s worth by first look. As the mom of a tween I look for women, strong women, who I can point out as role models. Not the Disney pop-tarts, not the child stars that grow up and forget their true fan base. I look for women who are changing the world; with their voice, their determination and their willingness to be different. I want her to see women who are not conforming to the standard, but challenging it.

Maybe the View could learn something from her, if only they did more than look.

Dear Disney (You got it wrong)

Dear Disney,

You got it wrong. Usually your TV programs are the one I encourage my children watch. Imagine my surprise the other evening when my children were watching “Jessie“. In the episode, Bye Bye Bertie, the loyal butler had enough of the children’s shenanigans and quit. Yes! I thought to myself. Finally the children (and mine) are being taught a lesson that adults are to be respected, that we are not here to just clean up their messes and we are not their friends.

Cue the next scene, when the butler is hired by the neighbor. A rich, extravagant woman with fetishes. First, what the hell are fetishes doing on a Disney program? Sure they go over my child’s head but Disney, you are sending a subliminal message and it isn’t pretty.

Then it got worse.

The rich lady had the butler put on tight shorts, talked to him in a degrading fashion and proceeds to chase him around the condo.

Does he quit because of the abuse? No.

Does he say, “you cannot treat hired help this way”? No.

Does he in anyway defend himself of call her on her actions? No.

Does he call the police, the condo association or any victim help group? No.

Do the children he used to serve and his former co-worker protect or defend him when they see him being abused? NO.

The Butler only quits when the children apologize for their behavior and ask him to come back. He is immediately replaced by another butler who is immediately subjected to the behavior that hasn’t been allowed in the workplace since Lilly Tomlin showed her boss who was in charge 9-5.

Did the Butler, the children or the nanny stop the abuse of the new butler? No. They ran away laughing.

Disney, if this had been an episode where the pretty nanny had to dress in tight clothes and be subjected to lewd comments from her rich boss it wouldn’t have made it from the writer to the table read. The episode would not have been filled with a laugh-track but poignant moments where you taught children everywhere what a respectful workplace looks like and how employers treat their employees.

Or they face a lawsuit and criminal charges.

Disney you could have done great with this episode. Debby Ryan, the STAR of the show, has been very public about being in an abusive relationship. She has a campaign about dating violence. Do you not think that maybe workplace violence falls into that same category? Did not one person at the network or on the show say this episode might be sending the wrong message?

Disney, you could have shown children how Bertram stood up for himself, how the children he serves stood up for him and how his coworker (their nanny) taught them how to behave.

Instead you went for the cheap laugh.

And my children have one more TV Show on their “do not watch” list.

Sincerely,
A parent who knows what is funny and what is criminal behavior.