I have no freaking idea. But I asked Kristi who of course had the answer….according to the world of Kristi According to Wikipedia, a listicle is a list that has more guts. Specifically “a short-form of writing that uses a list as its thematic structure, but is fleshed out with sufficient verbiage to be published as an article.”
What the heck does that mean, exactly? No idea. I mean how can that be a word if spellcheck doesn’t recognize it? But I have wine so I figured I would hop on the listicle train because this week’s cracked me up.
Ten things that you love that cost you nothing, yet….
Okay, the “yet” is probably not part of the listicle. But since I love bending the rules here I go!
1. Kissing your children good night. Sure, they are cute now, but if they are anything like my Allie they will probably try to charge us soon. This is the girl that asked for an allowance and then refused, refused I tell you, to do ANYTHING if she wasn’t paid. Now I don’t want to raise a future hooker because you know it isn’t like Pretty Woman. So I am never going to go for paying for kisses. But I know how her brain works and will not put anything past her.
2. Walking the dog. Our town just passed a pay-as-you-throw deal. Not only do we have to pay for a dump sticker and on top of that per bag of trash you just know they are going to start changing extra for disposal of dog poop.
3. Showering. Oh wait, that is already taken. I mean we already have a water tax. So I guess we already pay to be clean. Except I have a well, no water tax right? But how much do you want to bet that soon our town will say you have to pay extra NOT to use their water. And since I love to shower….
4. Breathing clean air. Think about it, about 20 years ago some guy in Maine said hey don’t drink your water it isn’t as clean as Poland Springs….
5. Facebook. Let’s face it. I am a Facebook addict. I love Words with Friends, I like looking at people’s photos and saying what the heck were they thinking? I think it is all a scam. Kind of like the water deal. Zuckerberg reeled us in and in the future he is going to make us pay for addiction. Think of the black-mail he has with all those photos we put online. Even worse, all those drunken status updates.
6. Public education. Why do I love public education? Well, it makes sure my children are some place, anyplace else other than at home. I see a time coming when the seniors in the town say they are no longer using their retirement money to pay for my child’s education (and really, who can blame them). Leaving parents to pay for their own child’s education.
7. Blogging. I do not advertise. Why? Well, haven’t been asked! But also my blog is more of a look into our lives. It is not an advice or “theme” blog. I have some favorite blogs though that do advertise. Some A LOT more than others. I worry about the day when you cannot just write or read. Instead if I want to see what is going on in your life I am going to have to pay for the privilege. Oh and Dana as a fellow non-advertiser, if you ever charge me to read your blog I’m going to be very upset!
8. Friendship. At this point my friends are my therapist. I imagine them charging me one day to listen to my troubles.
9. Marriage. I know what you are thinking how can they tax marriage? But if the people who are against marriage for everyone start to think to themselves, hey wait if everyone can get married and we charge them extra then people won’t “live in sin”….I see marriage equality for everyone!
10. Love. See #1 above. Where do you think Allie gets her mercenary tendencies from? If Hubs ever gets a clue that charging for love does not make him a gigolo…..
This has been a Monday Listicle event brought to you by the Fab Northwest Mommy at the Good Life. Go check her out and tell me what you would love that doesn’t cost you anything. And if you want to be a rebel, tell me what doesn’t cost you money YET!!
Glad to find you on Monday Listicles & enjoyed your list!
Walking the dog. I do that lots and have to agree some days when I'm not in a rush, it is lovely to stroll around enjoying the outside and being lost in my thoughts.
Ha – I will never make you pay to read my blog, Kerri. Why would you? I did get my first offer to write a sponsored post from a kitchen company in Australia – because that would be relevant.
If your town starts charging to dispose of poop, you better get yourself a compost bin and use the stuff as fertilizer!
I love taking baths, but showering is annoying because it means then I have to dry my hair…. ugh. Don't worry, I still do it (almost) every day.
You are so awesome. Like totally and completely awesome. So funny that you're raising Allie to NOT be a hooker. I think that's a good and honorable goal and that you deserve extra points for seeing how your behavior as her mama may mold her future expectations. Way to nip that in the butt! (bud? I never know)
Of course you know that number 6 is my favorite. Mostly because without it, I probably would never have started number 7. And that's the honest truth.
Oh and Facebook? Do you play Scramble with Friends on the iPhone? That is my addiction and we should totally play. I used to be into Draw Something but got burnt out on it (hm I wonder why?).
XO to you and your awesome listicle (which looks like a tickley list or a testicle to me)
PS I never mind the shower thing when I have time. I'd just always rather do something else. Like text you.
For Boo's hazmats alone!
How can you not crave shower time? 15 minutes alone with no one talking to you or hanging to you!
Great list! I couldn't come up with a list for this theme. I didn't even think of Facebook. Or Twitter. Talk about free marketing. The one thing I do love that's free is nature. Anything green, water, flowers and plants – love it!
I really enjoyed your list! I think we may be the only ones that explained our choices. Ha! Must be a non-advertising blog thing 🙂
Well my plants would disagree with you I have that black thumb but YEAH for nature in general
This list is awesome, especially no. … okay, after going through it again everything except for 2 because we do not have a dog! 🙂 But I wholeheartedly agree on the rest!