Milestones met but not

Bridget lost her first tooth the other day. I don’t know when it happened. I didn’t even know she had a loose tooth. Had I not been brushing her teeth for bedtime the milestone would have gone unnoticed.

I put her to bed, like normal. No mention of the missing tooth or the tooth fairy.

It hit me, afterwards, that this was the first milestone Bridget has hit on schedule. She even did it similar to her sister. Abby, who swallowed her first tooth at age 5 and then left a note for the Tooth Fairy to “magic it out of her belly”. Yet with Bridget, we didn’t even acknowledge it. Parents of the year for sure. There was no tooth fairy (Bridget wouldn’t understand). There was no celebration (Bridget didn’t even realize she lost a tooth). It was just brush her teeth and put her to bed. We didn’t even let Abby know as we didn’t want to have the discussion as to why the Tooth Fairy didn’t visit her sister. Milestone not met.

Who does that? Well, me.  On the upside I didn’t have to wake up at 3:30 this morning in a panic because I forgot to take the tooth, leave money, find a note to the Tooth Fairy that demanded a response.

It’s seriously the best thing about being Bridget’s mom as opposed to Abby’s.

Bridget: No Every Day Math homework, no moving the freaking elf at 2am, no worry about Halloween costumes, no play dates with moms I don’t know and no worry about her finding out the truth about Santa.

With Abby it is all about the imagination. In a testament to nature over nurture, Abby has always been the child to play for hours (by herself) making up lands and stories. Playing with baby dolls and creating fairy houses. As she gets older she transitioned to ponies and Barbies. To this day she will play for days in her room making up stories for her dolls (however not when her friends are around). I swear when she has her own children I’m going to have to break in to play Santa because she will still believe. Abby’s imagination astounds me, it is so fluid and vivid.

Boo doesn’t have an imagination. Recently Boo has become obsessed with Princesses. (another milestone)

IMG_2656

She found Abby’s old plastic castle and brought it into her room. Where she tells everyone to OME ERE and OOK. But she doesn’t play with it. She holds her Punzel (any Barbie that has blonde hair) doll she stole (milestone!) from Abby’s room, but she doesn’t “play” with it. Abby has tried to pretend play. She imported other less-important Barbie dolls to Bridget’s room to get Bridget to play with the castle. Bridget doesn’t understand. She is trying, you can see both girls trying. Yet the skill set, that innate sense of play and pretend that Abby was born with Bridget was not. Milestone not met.

photo 1

Bridget’s school is trying to spark that imagination, having other children model for her. Which is awesome, but heartbreaking at the same time. Bridget would rather observe than participate.  I never knew a child wouldn’t know how to play. (milestone not met) That even in this area of her life, she will struggle. With continued modeling of play behavior I see Bridget interacting more with her peers. She wants to participate now (milestone) and she is approaching children who are playing (milestone).

I remind myself, that as with everything else, Bridget will accomplish milestones.

Some on the pediatric-manual schedule and some on Bridget’s.


Grab This Button

14 thoughts on “Milestones met but not

  1. Astrid

    I totally understand your mixed feelings. Try to appreciate the milestones Bridget does reach and build on her strengths. It is sad that she won’t play, but if hse’s happy, that’s okay.

    Like

    Reply
  2. Anna

    Have you ever seen a violinist march 8 to 5 on a football field or a flutist read tablature notation? Would a percussionist know how to lip slur? Is it typical for a tuba part to contain a 16 count trill? Music is a milestone-oriented field, but anyone who has worked with a band knows that the various sections have varied needs and abilities. Different people achieve different milestones at different times.

    Like

    Reply
    1. firebailey Post author

      HA! Abby is taking flute lessons so this could not be more timely. But you are right, each person (instrument) has a unique role in the world. Bridget’s has always been on her own trajectory. It was the milestone she hit on time that tripped me up.

      Like

      Reply
  3. tamaralikecamera

    Abby sounds a lot like my Scarlet.
    It’s like you said, the milestones will come for Bridget. They ARE coming.
    I was just remembering something.. I had a dog who didn’t know how to play. I had never met a dog who didn’t know how to play. She didn’t. Or wouldn’t.
    She lived a very long life, did everything on her own terms, and really found her own happiness. She wasn’t unhappy. She just wasn’t playful. I always think of her.

    Like

    Reply
    1. firebailey Post author

      I have to remember that, Tamara. That maybe Bridget isn’t “playful”. That she has her own happiness and I should not superimpose what I feel her happiness should look like.

      Like

      Reply
  4. Kristi Campbell - findingninee

    They’ll come. Just not when they come for everybody. And I’m kinda freaking out that she lost a tooth already – Tucker hasn’t yet (milestone not met) and I’m kinda glad.

    Like

    Reply
      1. firebailey Post author

        Are you sure she hasn’t swallowed it? That seems to be the trend in our house! Abby has a standard memo for the tooth fairy: please magic the tooth out of my poop I swear it is there 🙂

        Like

  5. thelatchkeymom

    It is such a strange and complicated issue, isn’t it. The pretend play made me crazy – I didn’t know (my special needs guy was the oldest) he was just supposed the “have it.” And I really didn’t like doing it/demonstrating. I don’t think I did much pretend play as a child, myself. And the crazy sliding scale of milestones can be frustrating, but I do take solace in the work some of this saves me! But They will come:) Bear is 13 and we are still seeing some – a few are age appropriate (he rolled his eyes at me last week, swear to God) and others very late, but oh so welcome – Greeting me by NAME!

    Like

    Reply
    1. firebailey Post author

      I am not that mom who plays with their children. Abby just has always entertained herself and created worlds (and I mean WORLDS) of fantasy no matter where she is. Her room is still divided between fairy land, Barbie land and Horse land. Then in March the freaking Leprechaun moves in. With Bridget it didn’t really bother me, until she fell in love with princesses. And it was different than Abby. Weird that it bothered me, but it did. The tooth thing just cracked us up. On one hand, woo hoo here she is finally doing one thing on “schedule” and then the shoe drops and we realize cannot even celebrate it the way we would have with Abby. That Bridget is, as always, doing things her way on her own schedule.

      Like

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s