My friend has convinced me to be her date at our High School Reunion. Well, her high school reunion. Growing up my life was kind of, well, in transition. I had lived in many towns and had attended many schools. I had spent most of my formative years (grades 6 through 10) in Tia’s school system before moving in my Junior year to the Cape.  I realize now how much those six years held so many life changing events.

This is a group of people that included my first dance, my first kiss, my first period and my first trip out of the country. My first babysitting job, my first real job and watching the Breakfast Club while singing along to Whitney Houston. It was with this group of teens that we taught our Spanish Tour guide the words to “Celebration”. There’s a party going on right here….(come on you know the song)

Tia & I in Spain as Sophomores

While I somewhat outgrew the bad hair, my friendship with Tia has remained steadfast. So when she asked me to attend with her I said, YES OF COURSE.

But now the reunion is a few days away and I am panicking. I’ve never had the courage to attend a reunion. I was always the person who thought why go back in time? Now that I was going, the old fears came back.

What if no one remembers me? What if they do and didn’t like me back then? Please God give me a good hair day.

Tia is the only one from this town that I remain in contact. It makes sense, as I haven’t left the Cape in 25 years so my friends that I finished high school with of course I will be more involved. I don’t even think I am Facebook acquaintances with any of that Class of 89. Which seems rather odd, really.

I feel like I am back in High School. Wanting to make sure I look okay, that I don’t make any socially-awkward mistakes. I want to “fit in” with people I haven’t seen in 27 years.

How weird is that? That it takes a moment to transport you back to the Breakfast Club and worry about all the cliques. I never fit into any clique but I really wanted to back then. I wanted to belong, to be someone important, to be more… As I look back now, I didn’t fit into a clique because I was friends with at least one person in each section. The jock, the nerd, the misfit, the burn-out and the prom queen.

Maybe not the prom queen.

Why is that as a grown woman trying to instill self-confidence into my child I can still worry about nonsense. Rather than being excited that for one night I can have dinner without having a child on my lap.

Since seventh grade Tia and I have been through all of our firsts together. Most of the time because she has way more courage than I do. It seems that while many things have changed in 25 years this one thing has not: her courage to go home again and the strength true friendship gives you to face your fears.

God, I hope I have a good hair night.

That is how I finished the sentence, “I’ve never had the courage to….”

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The fabulous and now Huffington Post famous Kristi at Finding Ninee
Stephanie at Mommy for Real
Vidya Sury
Tarana Khan Siddiqi Sand in My Toes

Tell me in the comments, what is something you never would have the courage to do?