I’ve been quiet on this blog for a while, but that is going change. You deserve an explanation for both choices.
First to lack of activity around here.
That is two-fold. The easy answer is that my life of barely controlled chaos became unhinged. Bridget got sick over the winter (not too bad but enough to mess with my rhythm). We put my mother-in-laws house on the market. Sold all of her treasures, family home and she’s moved into our home. Between Bridget, family, work, dealing with the relocation of my MIL and school committee I barely had time to sleep let alone write.
Yet it is the last commitment that has created the biggest barrier to my writing since last summer. There are some that feel as a school committee member I should be careful of what I write. There was a blog post I wrote last summer where (apparently) I broke the trust between those who care for Bridget and my role on the committee. I’ve struggled with that, I asked those who are always honest with me to read the post and let me know if anything I wrote could be interpreted as anything that slighted Bridget’s caregivers. The feedback was positive but as a parent and a committee member I still struggled every time I began to write.
Would what I write that one of Bridget’s caregivers mistake as criticism rather than insight into her life away from them?
Would what I write cause the teachers/educators/therapists in the district I serve think that I do not believe in them or their work?
I know that my writing has impacted Bridget’s family. Her aunts, uncles, cousins, friends and grandparents have sometimes been brought to tears because I’ve been a bit to honest here. I’ve always been careful to make sure what I write is to help people understand this life, the good parts and the sick to my stomach parts.
But I need this blog. I need to be able to write without worrying I may offend someone. When I do I would hope they would contact me so we could discuss where the miscommunication happened. I have always tried to put the positive spin when I write, that is just my personal outlook.
And there you have it. This is my personal journey, my personal (albeit public) blog. There are plenty who do not read it. One of Bridget’s caregivers told me that they deliberately do not read my blog. They do not want it to interfere with how they care for Bridget. Where I see it as providing insight, they see it as a potential barrier. That is awesome. No one needs to read this blog. Only those who find it helpful, supportive or needing to not feel so alone.
I hope that those who I trust to care for Bridget understand that when I write it is never to insult or harm you. It is only for you to see that what happens when Bridget is under your care (the good and the bad) has impact elsewhere in her life. Just like my errors and wins in parenting has impact when she is with you. If you believe reading my blog will have a negative impact on how you see my child or my role on the school committee than please stop reading it. I won’t be offended or heck even know!
I know without this blog I would not have the village I have that support and love Bridget. We need one another and learn from one another so I hope you stick around.
Without this blog, you and I never would have found one another. Without this blog, so many families would feel alone. You’re doing great things and I’m so sorry that some asshat made it so you feel like it’s more harm than good – trust me you are more good than anything. People need your voice. We need B’s voice(ish) because this is what matters more than the rest of it. Love you. Call me if you want to talk.
I echo what Kristi said, and agree that you need to do what you feel is best for Bridget and your family. Of course, I’m reading as an online friend who doesn’t see you in person, but I know that your heart is always in the right place. Keeping writing, my friend.