My bloggy-friend Jen has had a pretty bad month or two. So Jen this tape is for you.

I hate when you know some one is down and looking for answers. But I applaud them for looking and to not give up knowing the answer will be there as long as you take a moment to listen.

I’m sorry but you cannot listen to Bon Jovi and not feel a twinge. Yes, he is just here for eye candy.

I’m including this next song because I believe while it may be down pouring like hell on your house right now you know at some day there will be no more cloudy days.

Sir Elton says it best, my friend, how wonderful life is while you are in the world. 

Last but not least a little Jimmy. Cause you cannot be down when Jimmy is around.

Jen I hope February treats you better than December and January!!!  

It is no wonder why girls are confused. Sorry, this is a post for girls because not having sons I believe boys are just gross. They always remain dirty, covered in something not recognizable and they always like sports. Kidding! Let’s face it though, boys and girls are different. How their role in society changes and evolves is important. From a woman’s point of view (because I’m a woman) our dreams and goals change more often than our male counterparts.

And I blame Disney.

Okay, not really. Here is what I realized the other morning. As the mother of young girls I tell them they can be anything they can dream. But they see the house dynamics. David does the “simple machine” and I do the laundry. I am sure other households are similar. What they don’t see at this young age is teamwork that has been established by playing to our individual strengths (FYI the circular saw is not one of mine).

The other morning Boo was watching her newest obsession favorite program on her IPAD, Sofia the First. I love this show. First it has Tim Gunn so what’s not to love? But more the underlying theme is staying true to yourself. To make your friends get along and make allowances for one another. That you can be whatever you want to be, you just have to work hard to attain your goal. In this particular episode Sofia wanted to be on the princes’ horse team. She was being told that princes did X and princesses did Y.

Sofia would have none of it, sang a cute song and trained to be on the team. She can do anything, no matter who wants to count her out.

In the exact same room, watching Disney but instead of watching Disney Jr, the tween channel, Abby was watching Austin & Allie. This show has been about teams as well, that the boy and the girl work together to have careers in music. For the lucky uninitiated the boy is the performer and the girl writes the songs that make him the star.

Behind every successful man is the woman, right? But they are equal partners working with their strength to become a success. Except in THIS episode Abby happened to be watching, the female lead was forgoing her own career to follow the boy on the tour.

First of all, where the heck are the parents that would let all these teens just get on a bus unsupervised for a tour? But more importantly, why is the song writer giving up her chance at of her own career to follow the boy?

It probably wouldn’t have hit me if not for Stephanie’s post about song lyrics. That without even realizing it we are sending our daughters a message that they are less-than. They need more (man, job, child, insert your goal for your child here).

That the two Disney shows were on simultaneously in my house and were giving two completely different messages was kind of kismet. That we were telling our preschooler she can do anything that a boy can do. Yet we are telling our tween that she needs to put the boy’s needs before her own or worse that his dream was more important.

After all, Austin wasn’t canceling his tour to stay and write songs with Allie. He (and their friends) encouraged her to come along on tour and forget that she had dreams too. The upside was that (thanks to Stephanie’s post) I was prompted to have a discussion with Abby. The downside was that after all this time we still have to have the discussion that men are your partners and not your king.

At least we are having the discussion….

One time I saw this biggest jerk. She was a teenager. She thought she knew every freaking thing. She made her mom miserable, caused her needless worry. She wouldn’t understand until she was much older that her parents weren’t too terrible after all. It took quite some time for me to see the biggest jerk. It took having kids of her own to realize that the biggest jerk in the 1980’s was me.

So mom, I apologize for being the biggest jerk. 

I hope the granddaughters are enough revenge, I mean repayment. This is how I finished the sentence, I once saw the biggest…..

About a year ago I asked you what is something your child is REALLY good at? I mean something they can do that is just spectacular. They don’t have to be a broadway star, but something they excel at. Like climbing the neighbor’s tree faster than you can hit the snooze button on a Sunday morning.


Boo, for example, has had a great year full of accomplishments. Things that you will never find in a parenting manual, an IEP, growth chart or maybe put on your families Christmas letter. Here is a list of things that Boo has not only accomplished in 2013 but become really good at:

Boo learned to turn off and on lights. Of course she seems to have mastered the skill of turning the light on that you do not need and plunging you into darkness when you are taking a shower and shaving your legs.

Boo continued her mastery of taking off her shoes and throwing them out of vehicles. She managed to throw her shoe from the back seat, over the headrest and out the front window. 

Boo jumped. Over a line. Thankfully she hasn’t managed to jump off the top of the counters yet. Although she did jump into a pool while on vacation. Thankfully M was there to catch her. 

Boo hosts dance parties in the kitchen. The other night while doing dishes she told me “dance” and gave me my IPHONE.  Abby videoed it with her IPOD and is currently blackmailing me to get out of cleaning her room.


Boo found her voice. We can now understand more of what she is trying to tell us at the top of her lungs. I blame her SPT for her outdoor voice. SPT has informed me that she has met Abby and in now way is she taking full blame for Boo’s volume. Or the fact she said “fuck” clear as day in therapy. I’m not taking the blame for that either. Although the grandparents had been visiting….

Tell me, what is one thing. Just one thing that your child does that makes your heart swell with pride? 

When Abby went through her princess faze it made sense. She loved princesses and we indulged her. Grandparents bought Princess sheets, coats, dolls, play sets. We went to Disney and got their autographs. Today, at 10, Abby will still watch a Disney movie with awe.



Boo wasn’t as exposed. Boo for the most part watches her IPAD and hangs out. She doesn’t seem to attracted to anything other than music. Give her a toy and it will gather dust until I donate it to another child. 

Then Princess Sofia happened. Quite unintentionally (because nothing else was on I am sure) Abby watched the program.

Boo fell in love. 

I wasn’t too sure how much until we went to a birthday party and gave her friend a Princess Sofia. Boo tried to steal it back (hello, typical child!). For her birthday we gave her a Princess Sofia doll. Typical Boo, she wanted it kept in the box. Abby wouldn’t put up with that–dolls are to be played with! Boo carried the doll around for a minute and then it ended up under the table. She went back to her IPAD. 

Until bedtime, when FIA had to come to bed with her. (hello, typical child!) Over the past month or so Fia has been brought in and out of bed, never played with. For Christmas we had no idea what to get Boo and she needed a backpack so viola! When she returned to school she excitedly showed her backpack to everyone. Fia backpack she yelled. 

Yesterday Boo discovered that she could watch Sofia the First on her IPAD. Which let me tell you is a nice break from the Austin & Allie Christmas special and I no longer hear her yell HOOKER. 

She sees the Disney sign and yells PRINCESS (new word!).  I thought with Boo I would skip the if it was pink, plastic and princess it would be in my house. 

Good thing I never got rid of all Abby’s things I had moved down into the basement!

Today you can find me feature at Kristi’s Our Land Series. Please join me in looking at Boo through her sister’s eyes.