It’s the last day of the 31 for 21 Challenge. I didn’t really make the goal of blogging everyday. However I was beyond happy to participate. As this is the last day I was thinking about Robert Saylor. How this young man with Down Syndrome lost his life because those who are there to protect were not trained to work with those whom have special needs.

Because while you might be aware of Down Syndrome you might not really understand it.

Then last week I read an article about the C.A.R.E. program. C.A.R.E. stands for Children and Residents Encounter program. It is the brainchild of the Colerain, OH police department. To my understanding, this program is designed to educate emergency personnel to those within their community with special needs. Be it Alzheimer’s, autism, mental health issues or behavioral issues.

Colerain has an estimated 1 out of every 150 residents on the autism spectrum. Chances are pretty great that at one point the emergency personnel will come into contact with a person who has special needs.

C.A.R.E. is a program where the family gives the emergency personnel information regarding the child’s (or adult) health and mental issues. The parent provides detailed information: are they on a monitor, do they have anger issues, what medication are they on, do they elope, what if anything do the police need to know if they are responding to your home or anyplace in town where that person might be in need of assistance.

Just think, if the police had known about Robert he might have lived. They would have been aware of his triggers, known he had Down Syndrome and been trained to deal with a person who has diminished capacity.

Yes, apologies to all the parents I just offended, but our children have diminished capacity and do not understand that  their behavior has unintended consequences. Sadly, neither are the first responders always educated.

One argument against C.A.R.E. is that we are giving up our children’s privacy. Do you really want your neighbor who listens to the police scanner (my MIL) know that your child is suffering from (insert your child’s diagnosis here).  Heck, I do it everyday here on this blog! But I see their point. Some parents are not “out” they don’t want the neighborhood to know that their child is autistic or bipolar or clinically depressed.

But in an emergency does privacy matter? If your child has suicidal tendencies wouldn’t you want the first responders to know? If your child is prone to throwing lamps in anger wouldn’t you want the first responders not to respond with force but with patience and kindness? If you child is deaf and does not hear the police say stop as they run in fear would you like them not to use force?

If you were Robert’s mom wouldn’t you have wanted the police to know that her child didn’t understand why he couldn’t just rewatch the movie? While I have never met Ms. Saylor I can imagine her anguish.

Upon learning about the C.A.R.E. program, I reached out to our local police and fire departments. I asked them about signing onto the program, or a similar idea. I explained how the Ohio police department minimized training costs and related expenses. They replied that this was one of their long-term goals.

Which I appreciate.

But I want more. I don’t want a goal I want a program. I want our police and fire to have a card on Boo. I want them to know her name, what she looks like and how to react should they encounter her during one of her eloping episodes.

Screw her privacy. Her life is more important.

To be preachy, so should your child’s. Forget their privacy or your embarrassment. Contact your local police and fire departments. Tell them about C.A.R.E. or another program that will protect everyone. If that doesn’t work, tell them about your child! Tell them you have a child in your home that has special needs and they NEED to have this information.

Think of Izzy and her mom, whom the area hospital knew and still couldn’t protect.

Think of your child and their temper tantrums. When they are out of control and you are doing the best you can but the neighbors call the cops to protect you.

Think of your child who climbs or wanders and the new neighbors do not understand that your daughter is autistic and does not realize they cannot swim in any pool they come across.

Think of your son who is manic depressive and might encounter emergency personnel during one of his psychotic breaks.

Truthfully, the neighbors and police and EMS are not wrong. When faced with an out of control person or a child that looks much older than they are developmentally, they have no other thought than to protect those in control. They will try to reason or restrain with compassion. But in fear for themselves and those around them they will also respond with force.

It is not anyone’s fault. Not your neighbor’s for calling the police, not the police for seeing an out of control person and trying to restrain them, not your child’s fault for having a disability and not your fault either. Ultimately we need to protect our children and those they come into contact. I think C.A.R.E. is a great start.

Think of Robert and know that could be your child.

Screw privacy and think protection.
 In Robert’s Memory and in Respect for a mother’s grief I end this month of Down Syndrome awareness in their honor.