Boo is addicted to the movie Grease. It started out innocently enough. We were tired of listening to Disney Christmas Specials. Then we realized she was fast forwarding to just the music parts.
David had the bright idea of Grease. We liked the music and we would be expanding her tastes. We did not take into account that Abby would be watching the movie or that we would have to explain a hickey from Kinicki.
Earlier this week Boo kept repeating the scene that featured Beauty School Dropout. After she shouted HOOKER I started listening to the lyrics. Yes, mom of the year probably should have done this BEFORE downloading the movie. In my defense, I recalled my mother taking me at age 7 to see the movie in the theater. I even remember that we went while on vacation on Cape Cod. How bad could it be?
For those unfamiliar with the movie, and God bless you, Frenchie wishes for a guardian angel to tell her what to do. Instead of getting the Fairy Godmother from Cinderella she ends up with the least supportive angel ever created: Frankie Avalon.
Here are some of his pearls of wisdom:
Most mixed-up non-delinquent on the block. (Um, I think he means that as a compliment)
Why keep your feeble hopes alive? (Yup, way to motivate)
If you go for your diploma, you can join a steno pool. (Okay, he is giving career advice.)
You think you are such a looker. No customer would go to you unless she was a hooker. (Boo’s favorite line)
(Wait it gets better)
You’re not cut out to hold a job. (Hey wait a second Frankie you said I could join the steno pool!)
His only advice that is still applicable to today’s teens:
Now friends, before I go boring you with the double entendres (and hey not so subtle references to a kitty cat wagon) of Grease Lightening help a mother out! I need a new movie for the girl. Based on Boo’s viewing habits, I believe these are the requirements:
- It has to be more music than dialogue.
- It has to be live-action, not animated.
- The music should be more upbeat than sad. She will watch Hopelessly Devoted (much to my mother’s dismay–she ruined Grandma’s favorite song) but loves We go Together.
David’s one request: something with a lot of pre-90’s music. He doesn’t believe there has been a true music since Journey, REO Speedwagon or the Who. Don’t get him started on boy bands.
It has to be something that won’t make me teach Abby sex-ed. That’s why she will take health class. Okay, not a Boo requirement but help a mother out.
My request is much more imperative than David’s in case you were wondering.