One of the biggest fears I ever had to face, I didn’t know I possessed. When you have a child, you only imagine them healthy. You never imagine seeing them in the hospital, or working so hard to just say the word mom. You might, in the back of your mind, worry. You do not understand how true fear tastes.
The fears become accumulative.
You fear that your child will never sleep through the night. You wake with terror the first time they do.
You fear your child will never walk. You shudder at the sight of them darting into traffic.
You fear your child will never talk. You are shocked when they say, holy crap with perfect articulation.
You fear your child will never jump. Your heart stops when they jump into the deep end of the pool.
You fear your child will never go to school. You cry in the car the first day you drop them off.
You fear your child will never be invited to a birthday party or play date. You break out in hives when you have to attend the gathering.
The biggest fear I have faced, that I never knew I possessed was not that of a special needs mom.
It was embracing the fears of the typical mom and learning that I am not as different as I thought.
The biggest fear I ever faced….. was brought to you by the fabulous Kristi at Finding Ninee and the marvelous Michelle at Crumpets and Bollocks (I love saying bollocks!)
Yes, this! All of it. So much. ❤
This gave me goosebumps Kerri. So true. Love it!
This is so beautiful! It is wonderful to see your child develop, but it is also scary.
Beautiful realization that as parents, we just fear almost everything possible for our children. I too had to face special needs, but I knew it was coming. Autism runs in our family, and I’m on the spectrum. I first feared my kids inheriting it, and my first kid did. And I calmed down because I knew exactly what to do about it. But then the other two came out pretty normal, and that scared me because I don’t know how to raise normal kids.
I absolutely understand this! My daughter had different challenges — mostly related to her ability to eat — and I was so conflicted the first time I realized that she might have eaten TOO MUCH. I had never even imagined that was something I could worry about during the years she “failed to thrive.” This self-awareness is such a gift to us! Beautiful post — thank you for writing it.