Today a very kind and wise friend said to me:
Isn’t it amazing how talking to friends face to face works wonders on your mood?
Yesterday was not a good day, until it was a great night chatting online with old friends.
Monday started with good intentions, then went sideways by 7:00am.
Have you ever had days like that? No matter what your intentions are when you step out the door it seems like karma is about to bite you on the ass?
Trying to balance being at work and being there for Bridget is difficult. The burden is falling on her sister, but I get random texts telling me when I need to interfere from 30 minutes away. All while Abby is trying to do her own school /class work and I am trying to my own thankful that I have a job when so many are laid off during this freaking pandemic (cue working mom guilt and times it by a zillion).
Okay, deep breath, I start texting with the teacher. She is working with Bridget and eventually calms Bridget down. She figures out that what may have set Bridget off was the inability to transition reading from a book at school to a page on the computer. A goal we had been discussing in prior years, Bridget’s rigidity and inability to transition what she learns in school to home.
Crisis averted, 20 minutes later I receive another text from home:
Are you freaking kidding me? Seriously, Bridget has not had one daytime accident for months. The worry starts, she has already regressed when it comes to nighttime wetting, is this another sign of regression? Is this stress? Is she just pissed and acting out? Is Abby going to demand hazard pay? (For the record, she was not responsible for the clean-up. But see my therapy comment above).
Work has gone sideways, apparently home life has gone upside down and it is only 2:31pm.
I’m exhausted, done with this life and the day is only half over.
I walk through the door at 5pm and the first words I hear is not: hello, how was your day? It’s what’s for dinner. I hold it together (barely).
Then it is 7pm and I have a hangout scheduled with some friends from back in the PTA days. I seriously thought about skipping. That I just wanted to sulk and read my book. Instead I put Bridget to bed 5 minutes early and turned on the computer.
The first words I hear: How are you doing?
The next hour and a half is spent laughing, sharing (the good and the bad), talking about the kids but also ourselves. It was all that was needed to turn a real crap day into a night when I would not go to bed worried and feeling alone, but with the knowledge that my village is there. I just have to remember to reach out. To be there for them and to let them be there for me.
I texted one of the ladies from last night about how much I did not realize I needed that connection. Not a quick text or a phone call, but seeing friends and forgetting myself for a brief time. She replied, Isn’t it amazing how talking to friends face to face works wonders on your mood? It was nice talking to everyone. Let’s do it again soon.
I’m going to learn from yesterday and have already begun to schedule more of these hangouts.
We all need them to turn a bad day into a good night.
The current times we are living in are isolating and it is so easy to get sucked into the general crappiness of being home and doing it all. This is not just because Bridget has special needs, this is a hard time for all families. If you are feeling alone, do a Google or Facebook Hangout. Do something so for even a few minutes you can remember that we are all in this together. Stay safe!