If you haven’t seen this video take a minute and listen to them ROAR!!!!
ROAR!!!
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Author Archives: firebailey
Not everything needs a tag line
Dear Chicago Tribune,
I am not a resident of your city and in fact have only visited Chicago once in my life. But I am requesting on behalf of the parents in your community to redefine the newest tax approach for Kane County.
The premise is nice, from my reading, the intent is to increase property taxes in Kane County, IL to create funds to support individuals with developmental disabilities. As a mother of a child with special needs I usually support anything that will assist my child receive the services she desperately needs.
But to call it a disability tax?
How about calling it a social service tax? Or Community Building tax? Or even help thy neighbor tax?
The services provided would include: education, therapy, training and other services to allow those with developmental disabilities the opportunity for independent living. These same individuals with your county’s support would then become a part of your working community.
As a home owner from Massachusetts, I agree taxes are out of control. After all, we are number 6 in the US for highest residential property tax rate.
I do not wish my child’s disability to be a ‘ tax burden’ on anyone. And I agree with the opponents who say that the tax code need to be redrawn and that the federal and state support should be better mandated. However, I am thankful that she is a ‘social burden’ as she enriches everyone’s life she comes into contact. In some ways, I think this is a great idea. Instead of raising your taxes and you not really knowing where the money is being spent, you will see your tax dollars at work. The median household would be spending just $55 a year to impact lives in a meaningful way.
How incredible.
According to the article in the Tribune, Kane County has almost 16,000 residents whom this tax would benefit. I hope it does pass and is used as it is intended and not mired in the bureaucracy that seems to overtake good intentions.
I commend Kane County for taking a proactive approach to inclusion and support. I think it is beyond wonderful that you saw a need for your residents and are doing your very best to enrich their lives.
I just really wish you would think of a different tag line.
Things heard….
David has been working a lot of weekends. A LOT of weekends. In one way it is nice. I am sure I am not the only parent who experiences the household running smoother when the only dissenting voices don’t have an actual vote. On the flip side having another vote means that you are not losing your mind when you get a tad irritated when asked for the 100th time for a cookie before 9 am.
At one point I realized I was the one person in the house being unreasonable. But the girls should hold some responsibility. As I was slowly losing my mind this weekend it occurred to me that while I am probably not alone in wondering if it I ran away would they find me?
Here are just some of the phrases that popped out of my mouth this weekend:
No you cannot have a cookie (7:30 am)
Quit licking me
Yes Allie, you do a terrific jump rope in the living room. WATCH OUT FOR THE TV
You already had three donuts (8 am)
Boo, you cannot feed Bailey stickers. Or blocks or what the hell did you just stick in his mouth?
Is it wine o’clock yet?
Fine have a cookie (8:45am)
On the threshold of tweendom
The night before last Allie woke me up at 2:41 am. Yes, that is the exact freaking time. I threatened her that when she is in her early twenties I am breaking into her apartment at 2:40 am to wake her up by scaring the crap out of her.
What is it with kids that they SNEAK into your room only to put their face right in front of yours and whisper scream: MOM
Also, how come they never go to Dad’s side of the bed?
Back to my story….Allie had a good excuse this time. Somehow at the dead of night her tooth that has been hanging on for three months finally fell out.
At 2:41 am.
She asked me if she should put it under her pillow for the Tooth Fairy. I explained at 2:41 am that the Tooth Fairy’s list was already scheduled for the night. (I think I get props for thinking that quick on my feet at 2:41 am).
Last night after she brushed her teeth. Including the one that fell out, and I quote: I want the Tooth Fairy to see that I take care of my teeth. I asked her why she didn’t pay that much attention to the ones still in her head and got the eye roll.
The Eye Roll and The Tooth Fairy. She is on the cusp of tweendom but still has her imagination firmly in childhood.
I’ll deal with the 2:41 am wake-up calls for as long as she is anchored in innocence.
It’s a spiritual thing
Even though it is a little early, Jen has instructed her team of DJ’s to create a Twisted Mix Tape to celebrate Halloween.
First up, of course is Michael Jackson in Thriller.
Slowing it down a bit we visit the Ghost of Patrick Swayze. I fell in love with Patrick when he was in the Outsiders. The only Curtis with a normal name. Yep, I’m old but that has been established. But Ghost? Man that dude could spin a wheel.
Of course what is Halloween without the Monster Mash? Vincent Price he was the man of the Spirits.
Then there is the always reliable Ghost Busters. That was full of spirits.
Last but certainly not least, I recommend a little AC/DC to round out your list of spirits. Because once Jen realizes I completely messed with her touchy-feely Spiritual quest with a bunch of Spirits I will probably be on the Highway to Hell.
Yes, the rule was actually: Songs that are SPIRITUAL in some way. Since my songs contained spirits she cannot be mad. Right? Right, Jen?
PS–Suck-up Bonus points: The Outsider’s character that Patrick Swayze played was Darrel Curtis big brother to Soda Pop and Pony Boy. I remember reading the book WAY before the movie. I think I fell in love with all of the boys that were so bad they were good.
I ove you
There are so many ways to say I love you. This week’s Listicle is to name 10 ways to say the most important words a person wants to hear.
10. I ove you. This is Boo’s approximation. Allie and David have been working on her saying it. Me? Not so much. Call me stubborn but I don’t want it to be rote. I want her to FEEL the love and say it to me. But my heart still overflows when she says it back to me.
9. Wine. Nothing says I love you then when David brings home a bottle of Pinot Grigio after I have had a hard day/week/year. Yeah, I know it says a lot about me. Probably not good but it means he gets me especially if it is followed by…
8. Chinese food. Dinner combination plate #1 without beef teriyaki and extra chicken fingers so I will have lunch the next day.
7. Some one, anyone other than me, cleaning the bathroom.
6. Hosting anything. Girls night in (By the way Becky & Jenn it is time for another one), Christmas, family celebrations, just because we want to do something this weekend. Being able to host means that friends and family get it. That it is easier for me to stay home and not disrupt Boo but still connect with everyone.
5. Having my nephews and pseudo niece (what else do you call one of their girlfriends that became family?) visit us for the weekend. Having the three of them be there for the girls, for me means the world to me.
4. The “boys” texting me during a Bruins game.
3. Allie saying that she loves me the most. Petty, yes. Heartwarming of course.
2. Bailey laying at my feet after Boo goes to bed and letting Boo lay on him before she does.
1. David telling me that I am perfect for him even when I feel so imperfect it is ridiculous.
I know, you expected me to be flippant. But love never should be.
The week in thanks, I don’t know what number
This week I am thankful for quite a lot….
10. My nephews and pseudo niece visited last weekend making Allie and Boo’s week.
9. Unlike other children, mine are home and safe.
8. Unlike other friends, the government shutdown hasn’t threatened my mortgage.
7. David attended the field trip.
6. Allie had the BEST RIDE EVER
5. Crafty Aunt K will be recruited to make the Halloween costume and pumpkin carving since I am not worthy (according to Allie). K you have been warned!
4. Boo has only had two accidents this week. I am counting that as an potty success.
3. Zach raised the money needed for his service dog!! Thank you for everyone who contributed to his campaign. Zach will get his forever friend next summer. I will keep you posted.
2. The Patriots came from behind and won on Sunday. It was quite amazing and unexpected. Apologies to the Saints fans.
1. Bailey our crazy puppy turned crazy dog had to have surgery due to his addiction to eating sticks. Thankfully the surgery went well and while Boo was sad not to hug him she seemed to understand that she had to be gentle. Now if the freaking pup would stop eating sticks I would be even more than thankful.
What are you thankful for this week?
The very best part
The best part of my day is putting Boo to bed. This is my time with her. The time of day that I will not let anyone else interfere. I am steadfast that no one puts her to bed other than me when I am home. This moment is when she hugs me with her whole body as I carry her to her room. She hugs me around the neck with her legs around my waist. Lays her head on my shoulder and snuggles close.
I lay her down on her bed and say I love you. She replies ‘ank you’. While I wish for some day to hear her tell me she loves me, ‘ank you’ is enough for now. I lay her down, cover her with her blanket and slowly walk out of the room.
I say one more time, Night, night Boo I love you and hear, ‘ank you’ one last time. My heart swells with love all the field trip pain melts away. I don’t care that she is delayed, just that she is sleeping in her bed. I don’t care that she cannot say or understand I love you. Because I know that while she might not understand it, she knows that she is loved.
That is how I finished the sentence this Friday, the best part of my day is….
Tell me, what is the best part of yours?
Thanks
Yesterday was a crap day. For me. Not for Boo though. I wanted to let everyone know that not only did she survive the field trip she enjoyed herself. According to David she not only touched a pumpkin but plucked an apple out of a tree!
I know I wasn’t alone yesterday in my meltdown. Other parents experienced the same emotions I did. They just didn’t spew to the entire world. But I am glad I did. I almost did not post yesterday, fearful that I would offend Boo’s teachers and therapists. Fearful that I would look like an idiot when David took her and Boo did not melt down. Fearful that Boo would melt down and I wouldn’t be there to hold her in my arms.
I want to thank each and every one of you though, for supporting my meltdown with texts, e-mails and comments. I cannot tell you what it meant that you understood. Or if you didn’t understand you empathized. A friend put it so well, this was a case of mommy guilt at it’s worse. Something we all go through during this crazy period of our life called parenthood.
Since parenthood is going to last for the rest of my life I know that there will be other moments when Mommy Guilt overwhelms me. I always thought Catholic guilt was tough, man I knew nothing before children!!
Including how I never knew that parenting was a team sport. So, thanks to each and every one of you who are on my team.
I’m taking the easy way out….
Today I am failing as a mom. I am taking the easy way out. No, this isn’t a post for you to say Kerri you are fine, stuff happens. I am not looking for you to make me feel better because I do not deserve it. Because a mom isn’t supposed to be selfish. A mom is supposed to put her pain, her failings, her fears and her sadness aside for her child’s joy.
But I am not doing that today.
Today I am hiding my head in the sand, okay my body at work, and letting David take Boo on her field trip. Last year, I took Boo and we went to a pumpkin patch and apple picking. This year it is the same trip and I am bowing out. This is Boo last year:
You might not be able to see it, but there are tears running down her face. I let her go at her own pace (way behind her classmates). When we got to the patch all the kids were running around, she was overwhelmed. By the dirt, by the pumpkins by the noise, by who knows what. Her teacher came back with us so we were not all alone but by the time Boo got her pumpkin everyone had proceeded to the apple orchard. Again Boo tried but she was in her own world. She hated the field trip and I felt awful for making her go outside her comfort zone, even if it was what she needed. So I held back the tears (incredibly thankful for sunglasses) as the teacher gathered all the kids around for the sign along. Boo was there but not there. Her mind tired and I saw her retreating into herself.
The field trip ended and we left the farm. I cried all the way home. It wasn’t the teacher’s fault, the students or the other parents. They all included Boo. These feelings are my own and incredibly selfish. Because I looked at Boo and felt bad for her. That she didn’t enjoy herself but more than that. That I looked at Boo and saw her disability.
Not what others perceived but, as Kristi posted on Friday, how being in Public showed me how my child was not typical.
And moms are not supposed to do that. We are only supposed to see the beauty and innocence of our little ones. I failed. I cried. I realized that this is my problem and cannot blame anyone other than myself.
I know that this year will probably be different. Boo has more mobility, more words and is no longer afraid of dirt. I am sure that David will come home and tell me what fun it was, that she had a great time. So I apologize to her. Because I cannot face it. I will not chance it being a repeat of last year. I simply do not have it in me to go on another field trip of nightmares.
This is my failing, not Boo’s.
I’m so sorry Boo.
(Un)Diagnosed and still okay 