I have no freaking idea. But I asked Kristi who of course had the answer….according to the world of Kristi According to Wikipedia, a listicle is a list that has more guts.  Specifically “a short-form of writing that uses a list as its thematic structure, but is fleshed out with sufficient verbiage to be published as an article.”

What the heck does that mean, exactly? No idea. I mean how can that be a word if spellcheck doesn’t recognize it? But I have wine so I figured I would hop on the listicle train because this week’s cracked me up.

Ten things that you love that cost you nothing, yet….

Okay, the “yet” is probably not part of the listicle. But since I love bending the rules here I go!

1. Kissing your children good night. Sure, they are cute now, but if they are anything like my Allie they will probably try to charge us soon. This is the girl that asked for an allowance and then refused, refused I tell you, to do ANYTHING if she wasn’t paid. Now I don’t want to raise a future hooker because you know it isn’t like Pretty Woman. So I am never going to go for paying for kisses. But I know how her brain works and will not put anything past her.

2. Walking the dog. Our town just passed a pay-as-you-throw deal. Not only do we have to pay for a dump sticker and on top of that per bag of trash you just know they are going to start changing extra for disposal of dog poop.

3. Showering. Oh wait, that is already taken.  I mean we already have a water tax. So I guess we already pay to be clean. Except I have a well, no water tax right? But how much do you want to bet that soon our town will say you have to pay extra NOT to use their water. And since I love to shower…. 

4. Breathing clean air. Think about it, about 20 years ago some guy in Maine said hey don’t drink your water it isn’t as clean as Poland Springs….

5. Facebook. Let’s face it. I am a Facebook addict. I love Words with Friends, I like looking at people’s photos and saying what the heck were they thinking? I think it is all a scam. Kind of like the water deal. Zuckerberg reeled us in and in the future he is going to make us pay for addiction. Think of the black-mail he has with all those photos we put online. Even worse, all those drunken status updates.

6. Public education. Why do I love public education? Well, it makes sure my children are some place, anyplace else other than at home. I see a time coming when the seniors in the town say they are no longer using their retirement money to pay for my child’s education (and really, who can blame them). Leaving parents to pay for their own child’s education.

7. Blogging. I do not advertise. Why? Well, haven’t been asked! But also my blog is more of a look into our lives. It is not an advice or “theme” blog. I have some favorite blogs though that do advertise. Some A LOT more than others. I worry about the day when you cannot just write or read. Instead if I want to see what is going on in your life I am going to have to pay for the privilege. Oh and Dana as a fellow non-advertiser, if you ever charge me to read your blog I’m going to be very upset!

8. Friendship. At this point my friends are my therapist. I imagine them charging me one day to listen to my troubles.

9. Marriage. I know what you are thinking how can they tax marriage? But if the people who are against marriage for everyone start to think to themselves, hey wait if everyone can get married and we charge them extra then people won’t “live in sin”….I see marriage equality for everyone!

10. Love. See #1 above. Where do you think Allie gets her mercenary tendencies from? If Hubs ever gets a clue that charging for love does not make him a gigolo…..
 

This has been a Monday Listicle event brought to you by the Fab Northwest Mommy at the Good Life. Go check her out and tell me what you would love that doesn’t cost you anything. And if you want to be a rebel, tell me what doesn’t cost you money YET!!

It is Friday and time to take 5 minutes out of the day to just write. Lisa-Jo Baker’s prompt this week is: BRAVE

Ready, set, go!

When I think of Brave I think of my husband. He is either the bravest or most foolish person I know. Seriously, think about it for a moment. He runs INTO a burning building not out of it. He has been electrocuted, dropped 2 stories during a training exercise and yet he still goes back for more.

And trust me, the pay isn’t all that worth it.

He goes into work all hours of the night. I swear I don’t even hear him leave or come home anymore. Allie knows that if we have plans Daddy may or may not be joining us. I cannot tell you how often I have finished a meal by myself.

I know he would say differently, but his love for the job comes before all else. If he had to choose between his family and the fire service he would OF COURSE choose us. But we love him enough not to make him decide. He has been on the fire department since high school and you don’t change what you love about some one.

But he lives, lives, I tell you for the fire service. He joins every tech team they make up. He is on the confined space team. You know if a building collapses? He is the one that will be in there searching for survivors.

Wildfires? Or as we call them here, brush fires. He is on that team too. That is his ‘favorite’ fire. And how weird is that, to have a favorite kind of fire?

Drowning, boat in distress need the dive team? He will probalby be on the call.

I did ask him once if he was ever scared. He said, no because if he ever was he couldn’t do his job.
So again that makes him either very brave or very foolish.


END

What makes you brave?

It is time for my favorite day of the week, FRIDAY! And better yet, let’s finish a sentence. This week’s starter…

If I were stuck on an island, I would like to have….the perfect body. I know, very conceited, right? But think about it if you are going to be stuck here:

Google images, of course

Then the last think I would want to look at would be my cellulite, wrinkles, freckles, grey hair and well…fat. Even my own. Talk about body issues. But seriously, if you were stuck on an island wouldn’t you rather look something like this:

Doesn’t this look peaceful? Thanks to Google images

Or better yet, like this!

See those abs! Google images

By the way, the starter did NOT say you were on a deserted island. So there would definitely be drinks!  But my island would not have any of this!

Google Images

Oh and just because I find it funny. If you Google annoying people on beach you get a gazillion photos of Snooki. Seriously, try it out!! Then come back and visit the links below and tell me what you would like on your island!


What about you, what would you like to have with you if you were stuck on an island? Be sure to link up at:

I wrote before on how to tell if you are a ‘mom‘. But when you have a child with a disability or special needs being a mom is slightly, well, different. For example…

We know intimate details of our child’s therapists lives (weddings, fights with the husband, why they hate the color pink or why the mother-in-law isn’t allowed to visit).

When we wake up on a Monday morning and realize it is an Early Intervention day we can stuff our closets clean our house in 3.9 seconds.

We are on a first-name basis with our insurance company representative.

We know that when we are told that the doctor is with another patient, he is really reading the cliff notes version of our child’s medical record. It may take up to an hour.

We know when the ‘good’ time is to visit the ER.

We know that when another parent says “I don’t know how you do it” they really mean “Thank God that’s not me”. More importantly, we are okay with you thinking that because at one time we thought the same thing.

We don’t panic over a temperature, but we have our pediatrician’s cell phone number on speed dial. You know, just in case.

We look forward to our child’s PT/OT/SPT therapy because we have to leave the house.

We know what PT/OT/SPT/IEP stand for.

When our pediatrician tells us he is going on vacation we think that since our visits probably paid for his retirement, his children’s college education and his wife’s new jewelry we probably should be invited to the family ski house.

We also think that our child’s visits just paid for the new wing at the Rehab center.

What about you, how are you different as a ‘special’ mom?



And if you haven’t had a chance, would you take a moment to visit Babble and “like” my nomination for Best of the Blogs? It is super simple. Just visit the page and click: like on Facebook or Tweet or Google+ (G+ can be multiple times, Facebook just once per person dang it!)

http://www.babble.com/mom/a-letter-to-new-special-moms/

I am really disturbed. Ellen from Love that Max wrote a wonderful article about a beautiful boy (and another girl) whose photos were pirated off the internet and used in a derogatory manner. I am not going to post the photos here. But the people who use anyones photo in a disgusting manner deserves the 7th level of Hell.

I am disgusted, quite frankly. And scared.

I put pictures of my girls on my Facebook, on my fundraising page for Children’s Hospital. I put them here on this blog and e-mail them to friends.

Now I am second-guessing myself. I started putting text on the photos in an attempt to protect the girls. I use psuedonyms (for everyone one but myself, dummy that I am) to protect everyone I write about. But I am aware that with photo shop anything is possible.

I started blogging as a means of finding a community where I could laugh, learn from and lean on. In recent weeks bloggers that I follow, for my daily dose of comfort, have posted that they may step away, because the people who like to cause trouble have become too much. They have managed to take the joy out of our lives.

So what do we do?

Do we ‘hide’ from the jerks in the world? Do we blog differently? Do we stop putting photos out there for all to see?

If we say no to the above, than how to we fight back? How to we ensure our children’s safety and our sanity?

I’m not sure what the answer to the question should be. But I am also not ready to hide.

Boo started talking almost six-months ago. It was a hard-fought war, she started speech therapy way before she was two years old. Boo started with sign, PECS was beyond ineffective and the IPAD never worked for speech (but ask her to find Austin & Allie on it and look how fast she can navigate).

Boo started with a few words (Allie was her first). And, sadly, I didn’t notice her progress. I mean I know she is doing great and she is saying a lot more words without always needing a translater. But it wasn’t until last week when we went to neurology and Boo said a FOUR WORD PHRASE. Yes, it was “I want cookie please”. But it was four words, strung together, in a freaking phrase with intention! (Proud momma moment)

Of course her phrases are memorized (I want, help me, give me) but she is beginning to add more words rather than signs/gestures. This beautiful girl of mine who a year ago only had a handful of words has almost 100 now.

This is of course, thanks to her awesome school program and therapists. I am just so grateful for them never giving up on our girl.

Because Boo said a 4-word phrase and she rocks!

Much to Allie’s dismay, Hubs and I love to hike. Pre-kids we would go on three-day weekend adventures, camp in a tent and just enjoy being outdoors. When we were pregnant with Allie we got the best advice:

Children are born into your established world. They will adapt to whatever lifestyle you have already created

I was worried that the life we had would have to stop. That having a baby meant the end to us as a couple because we were “parents”. And yes we adapted, we no longer tent camp instead we now have a pop-up camper. We camp as rustic as possible, with a bed. And we still hiked, not as intense or as long or as often, but we tried at least a couple of times a year to get out there. We don’t do the Knife’s Edge anymore for example, but easy 5-8 mile ones Allie can handle.

Then Boo happened. And yes, she was born into our established world and then re-wrote the rules!! With Boo, well she can’t hike. So I had a great carrier that saw many miles in Maine, in Virginia (love, Shenandoah!) and most of New England state forests.

Our trouble was this year. Boo, while she is totally rocking the jump, does not have have the stamina or the ability to hike. Not yet anyway. Unfortunately she is now too big for the infant carrier that worked three years past when most kids outgrow them. I did some research and found this baby carrier from Kelty, inc. The Pathfinder 3.0 can hold a child from infant to 40 lbs.
 

Kelty Pathfinder 3.0

It was a tad a lot more than I ever imagined to pay for a backpack. But it arrived on Friday and we did a test run in the trails by our home. It rocked! It has an adjustable torso-adjustment (hey, I’m short!) that made this the best backpack for me. It actually fit along my hips rather than me having to hoist her majesty up onto my back. The only reason my hips hurt is Boo would shift around looking at different things, which kind of shifts the load.  We did not use the sunshade and only hiked for an hour or so. I don’t imagine I could do the hike if we utilize the all the pockets (that will be when Hubs is carrying her!) because it would be just a little to heavy for me. On the plus side, it was super easy to get Boo in and out. She seemed beyond comfortable and secure. When I tripped she stayed put (always a good thing).  Both my husband and I shared the load and it was so easy to change the torso/waist adjustments on the fly.

I will say, hiking with a 30lb child is not as easy as hiking without her on our back. But to not have to give up our love of the mountains and waterfalls…worth a little hip pain.

By the way, I am not getting paid for Kelty for this post. I actually wrote about it because Hubs and I were talking about how there are not a lot of “outdoor” sites for parents who have children with disabilities. Figuring I am not the only parent out there who likes to be active but my Boo is growing, I should let you know about a way you can still do what you love (if you love hiking)!

And if you know of a site for those of us who like to hike and camp with our special kids, please let me know!

Today’s 5-minute Friday is….FRIEND

Ready, set, go….

Friend. I have many friends. A couple of steadfast ones, a couple of drinking ones and a couple of good-time ones. I was with some drinking ones this afternoon as a matter of fact! (Quite unintentionally but still quite fun).

But I would be lost without my steadfast ones. The ones that are always there. The ones that I would lost without. You know the ones I mean. The ones that text, call, e-mail unexpectedly. The ones that if I call in two minutes they will all be there. Those are the friends that I try to be there for, but rarely are. They are there more for me than for them.

 A true friend tells you when you are doing well, when you are doing wrong, when you need a shoulder and when you have food in your teeth. A friend is a friend through the hard times and the good.

I know they don’t expect more than what I can give. And that is what a friend is. One that accepts you for who you are and more importantly makes sure you don’t have food in your teeth.

End….

How about you, do you have 5 minutes to talk about a friend? Then join us and Lisa-Jo at 

It’s (almost) Friday and time for Finish that Sentence! This week’s starter is…

I am passionate about, well a lot of things. But I will let you into a little secret, unknown by many…I am passionate about ending the mystery behind what the heck was Disney thinking? Specifically why do all the moms die and the Pluto and Goofy conspiracy.

I am flat out of luck with the mom’s dying thing. I believe Freud probably has the answer to that one. Well, he is dead. So maybe not. But if he was alive I bet he would say Walt had mommy issues. Serious mommy issues.

But to more important mysteries! 

Any person who has seen Stand By Me is aware of the conundrum. If you have not seen Stand by Me, let me explain:

“Alright, Mickey is a mouse, Donald a duck, Pluto a dog. What the hell is Goofy?”

Let’s think about it, like Vern and Gordie did in the movie: Both have tails, they both look like dogs. But Goofy wears a hat, clothes and drives a car. He also has a girlfriend. Pluto? Lives in a doghouse, is Mickey’s loyal companion and lives life like, well, a dog. But side by side they both look like dogs. Except Goofy’s tail is NEVER visible.

photo credit: google images

Since 1986 this question has been a passion of mine.I have searched for 20+ years in this passionate quest of mine to figure out what the hell is Goofy? In my quest to discover the answer I have done many distasteful things: I lived with both men and dogs. GASP sometimes at the same time!

And this is what I have discovered:

Man: he can have a job, can talk and breaks wind at inopportune moments. Like when the in-laws are here. Oh, he also hogs the bed.
Dog: can have a job, can bark and breaks wind at inopportune moments. Oh, he also will hog the bed (but not the covers)

After this long quest, I am no closer to the answer. I have no freaking idea what the heck Goofy is. But my passionate journey continues…

In 1986 I was in absolute love (swoon) with River Phoenix and never imagined that Vern would turn into the hottest of hot Jerry O’Connell! So another passionate mystery to be solved. Why do girls always want the bad boy (River) and not realize that is the chubby kid (Jerry) who is going to be the hottie?

photo credit: Google Images b/c you can find everything there!

Now it is your turn to play! Tell me what you are passionate about and be sure to link up with the hosts!

Kate at Can I Get Another Bottle of Whine (Twitter, Facebook)
Janine’s Confessions of a Mommyaholic (Twitter, Facebook)
Mommy, for Real (Twitter, Facebook)
Dawn’s Disaster (Twitter, Facebook)

Be forewarned, this post is about poop and not for the funny-faint-of-heart. There is definitely too  much information about bowels. So continue reading at the risk of your lunch. I completely understand if you wish to come back tomorrow…. I wish I could.

Sometimes I get tired. Tired of Boo’s pain. Not to be mistaken for tired of Boo. But just that she has to suffer. I think it is so unfair. I also worry that I am the cause of the pain. For example, over the weekend she became extremely constipated. Truthfully, I knew something was, well, brewing. But I held off on medicating her. She had a GI appointment this week and I wanted them to see her in the extreme, unmedicated. What we deal with when the doctors are not there. So I “let” it get worse than it should have, could have been.

Can I tell you what a freaking  mistake that was? I mean, of epic proportions.  Sunday morning she awoke in pain. We had a get-together to go to. Finally I relented and took out the meds. But it was too late. At the party these poor woman thought my daughter had, well, pooped. I explained that nope she was still trying! Probably made myself look like mom of the year as I drank my wine while my friend B comforted Boo. 

But I was tired. I wanted to have a glass of wine and enjoy talking with my friends. I knew that while Boo was in pain,  there was nothing I could do in that moment. Other than stick my hands where the sun should never shine and get the brick out of the well…At that moment “B” was doing exactly what I was going to do, hold Boo. And I knew she liked getting her Boo fix.

Thankfully the people that know me outnumbered the people that don’t. Although I still felt like I was definitely in the running for mom of the year. We left, still no poop (and yes, I checked!). We came home and Boo found comfort from where she knew she could get it. First I tried holding her. On the floor, because for some reason she liked that more than the chair. Then I had to pee. (I did warn you TMI). So I laid her on the couch and wrestled Allie away from the lure of the Disney channel. 

Well, that worked while I peed. But then. The straining began again. The tremors, the screams, the MOMMY help me when Mommy can’t. As I was sitting (back on the floor, for some reason only Allie gets to comfort on the couch) Bailey nudged me. He nestled in between us. Boo let go of me and crawled onto him.

The screaming stopped. She finally found comfort. I got some more meds into her. Still no poop. But she had her puppy and was more than content.

Bailey stayed by her side until she went to bed. Then he ate Allie’s Barbie. But at this point, I think I will forgive the crazy puppy anything. Because although still no poop, Boo was happy. And that’s all this mom can ask.

In the morning, POOP! Of course, it happened on the way to school (sorry to her aide) so Hubs dropped Boo off with a little extra something. Yesterday we went to GI who told us they thought the constipation was due to school vacation but continue on the with what we were doing because “it works”. That they believe her issues are due to low tone and there is nothing else to be done at this point.

Since I have not one other idea how to stop the cycle of constipation, diarrhea followed by a couple of days of normalcy we continue to try to comfort Boo. But I am tired, tired of the cycle and she is only 4.  How exactly do you build-up muscle tone in the digestive tract?

But I am so, so thankful that when I need to pee Bailey is there. If only he would stop eating Allie’s Barbies.

To end of a postive note, she pooped! She also tore her butt in doing so. But at least this means she should have a couple of days of respite. I’d like to dedicate this post to Kristi in memory of Chief. But well, it’s about poop which seems like an insult. It is also a great testimony to a dog’s love, which is what made me think of Chief. So, Kristi if you are insulted this is so not dedicated 🙂