Monthly Archives: October 2013

I ove you

There are so many ways to say I love you. This week’s Listicle is to name 10 ways to say the most important words a person wants to hear.

10. I ove you. This is Boo’s approximation. Allie and David have been working on her saying it. Me? Not so much. Call me stubborn but I don’t want it to be rote. I want her to FEEL the love and say it to me. But my heart still overflows when she says it back to me.

9. Wine. Nothing says I love you then when David brings home a bottle of Pinot Grigio after I have had a hard day/week/year. Yeah, I know it says a lot about me. Probably not good but it means he gets me especially if it is followed by…

8. Chinese food. Dinner combination plate #1 without beef teriyaki and extra chicken fingers so I will have lunch the next day.

7. Some one, anyone other than me, cleaning the bathroom.

6. Hosting anything. Girls night in (By the way Becky & Jenn it is time for another one), Christmas, family celebrations, just because we want to do something this weekend. Being able to host means that friends and family get it. That it is easier for me to stay home and not disrupt Boo but still connect with everyone.

5. Having my nephews and pseudo niece (what else do you call one of their girlfriends that became family?) visit us for the weekend. Having the three of them be there for the girls, for me means the world to me. 

4. The “boys” texting me during a Bruins game.

3. Allie saying that she loves me the most. Petty, yes. Heartwarming of course.

2. Bailey laying at my feet after Boo goes to bed and letting Boo lay on him before she does.



1. David telling me that I am perfect for him even when I feel so imperfect it is ridiculous.

I know, you expected me to be flippant. But love never should be.

The week in thanks, I don’t know what number

This week I am thankful for quite a lot….

10. My nephews and pseudo niece visited last weekend making Allie and Boo’s week.

9. Unlike other children, mine are home and safe.

8. Unlike other friends, the government shutdown hasn’t threatened my mortgage.

7. David attended the field trip.

6. Allie had the BEST RIDE EVER


5. Crafty Aunt K will be recruited to make the Halloween costume and pumpkin carving since I am not worthy (according to Allie). K you have been warned!

4. Boo has only had two accidents this week. I am counting that as an potty success.

3. Zach raised the money needed for his service dog!! Thank you for everyone who contributed to his campaign. Zach will get his forever friend next summer. I will keep you posted.
2. The Patriots came from behind and won on Sunday. It was quite amazing and unexpected. Apologies to the Saints fans.

1. Bailey our crazy puppy turned crazy dog had to have surgery due to his addiction to eating sticks. Thankfully the surgery went well and while Boo was sad not to hug him she seemed to understand that she had to be gentle. Now if the freaking pup would stop eating sticks I would be even more than thankful.

What are you thankful for this week?
 

Ten Things of Thankful

The very best part

The best part of my day is putting Boo to bed. This is my time with her. The time of day that I will not let anyone else interfere. I am steadfast that no one puts her to bed other than me when I am home. This moment is when she hugs me with her whole body as I carry her to her room. She hugs me around the neck with her legs around my waist. Lays her head on my shoulder and snuggles close.

I lay her down on her bed and say I love you. She replies ‘ank you’. While I wish for some day to hear her tell me she loves me, ‘ank you’ is enough for now. I lay her down, cover her with her blanket and slowly walk out of the room.

I say one more time, Night, night Boo I love you and hear, ‘ank you’ one last time. My heart swells with love all the field trip pain melts away. I don’t care that she is delayed, just that she is sleeping in her bed. I don’t care that she cannot say or understand I love you. Because I know that while she might not understand it, she knows that she is loved.

That is how I finished the sentence this Friday, the best part of my day is….

Tell me, what is the best part of yours?

Finish the Sentence Friday

Thanks

Yesterday was a crap day. For me. Not for Boo though. I wanted to let everyone know that not only did she survive the field trip she enjoyed herself. According to David she not only touched a pumpkin but plucked an apple out of a tree!

I know I wasn’t alone yesterday in my meltdown. Other parents experienced the same emotions I did. They just didn’t spew to the entire world. But I am glad I did. I almost did not post yesterday, fearful that I would offend Boo’s teachers and therapists. Fearful that I would look like an idiot when David took her and Boo did not melt down. Fearful that Boo would melt down and I wouldn’t be there to hold her in my arms.

I want to thank each and every one of you though, for supporting my meltdown with texts, e-mails and comments. I cannot tell you what it meant that you understood. Or if you didn’t understand you empathized.  A friend put it so well, this was a case of mommy guilt at it’s worse. Something we all go through during this crazy period of our life called parenthood.

Since parenthood is going to last for the rest of my life I know that there will be other moments when Mommy Guilt overwhelms me. I always thought Catholic guilt was tough, man I knew nothing before children!!

Including how I never knew that parenting was a team sport. So, thanks to each and every one of you who are on my team.

 
 


I’m taking the easy way out….

Today I am failing as a mom. I am taking the easy way out. No, this isn’t a post for you to say Kerri you are fine, stuff happens. I am not looking for you to make me feel better because I do not deserve it. Because a mom isn’t supposed to be selfish. A mom is supposed to put her pain, her failings, her fears and her sadness aside for her child’s joy.

But I am not doing that today.

Today I am hiding my head in the sand, okay my body at work, and letting David take Boo on her field trip. Last year, I took Boo and we went to a pumpkin patch and apple picking. This year it is the same trip and I am bowing out. This is Boo last year:

You might not be able to see it, but there are tears running down her face. I let her go at her own pace (way behind her classmates). When we got to the patch all the kids were running around, she was overwhelmed. By the dirt, by the pumpkins by the noise, by who knows what. Her teacher came back with us so we were not all alone but by the time Boo got her pumpkin everyone had proceeded to the apple orchard. Again Boo tried but she was in her own world. She hated the field trip and I felt awful for making her go outside her comfort zone, even if it was what she needed. So I held back the tears (incredibly thankful for sunglasses) as the teacher gathered all the kids around for the sign along. Boo was there but not there. Her mind tired and I saw her retreating into herself.

The field trip ended and we left the farm. I cried all the way home. It wasn’t the teacher’s fault, the students or the other parents. They all included Boo. These feelings are my own and incredibly selfish. Because I looked at Boo and felt bad for her. That she didn’t enjoy herself but more than that. That I looked at Boo and saw her disability.

Not what others perceived but, as Kristi posted on Friday, how being in Public showed me how my child was not typical.

And moms are not supposed to do that. We are only supposed to see the beauty and innocence of our little ones. I failed. I cried. I realized that this is my problem and cannot blame anyone other than myself.

I know that this year will probably be different. Boo has more mobility, more words and is no longer afraid of dirt. I am sure that David will come home and tell me what fun it was, that she had a great time. So I apologize to her. Because I cannot face it. I will not chance it being a repeat of last year. I simply do not have it in me to go on another field trip of nightmares.

This is my failing, not Boo’s.

I’m so sorry Boo.

 

I like surprising people

I have kind of a strange taste in music. Some would call it twisted. I tend to listen to anything, my Pandora includes the Eagles to CCR to John Tesh to Big & Rich. If some one asked I would probably say I gravitate to country and/or pop music. But once in a while I like to really confuse my family. And that’s when my mix-tape includes the RAP:


I just love when Eminem mixes his music with artists we thought would never ever ever be on stage with him. I like most of his songs, but the ones when he brings in other artists are my favorite.


Dating myself here, but I think this was the first rap song I ever knew. There was something so incredibly cool about these three women who not only entered the man-world of rap but freaking dominated it.

Eminem owes his career of radio hits to Run DMC. The first group that I know of who took Rap to the mainstream by taking on the Bad Boys of Boston. Run DMC set the standard of how to get your rap song on the mainstream music stations. Although Rich or Clark will probably tell me I am incorrect! Although Eminem did feature Aerosmith in Sing for the Moment.

Going back to my 80’s roots…

I think the Beastie Boys are probably the most underrated rappers out there. Of course, they probably shot themselves in the foot by being too mainstream making us fight for the right to party. Gratitude, though? I wish I could live by their words: “What’s gonna set you free. Look inside you and you’ll see”.

Well I warned you I like Country. And Jason is hot country who can rap.

This post should come with a warning

Okay if you got past the title of this post, you have been warned. I rarely get political / controversial on my blog. I have my opinions (too many according to my husband) but this blog is supposed to be about Boo, our family and how we live in a world we were not quite expecting.

But then the Government shut down and I got a tad irked. I’m lucky. I live in a State where the local government is shouldering some of the federal government’s responsibility. But others are not quite so lucky and this unfairness is what has sparked the coming rant.

Again, you’ve been warned.

To Whom Ever Is Listening in Washington (DC that is),

I’m confused. I am not sure what the problem is at the Capital. However it appears to be a temper tantrum between two sides who seem to have forgotten their purpose. You see, it doesn’t matter if you are a Liberal, Conservative, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian or have purple hair. You haven’t provided a sound defense for what you are currently putting our nation through.

Quite simply, you are making us look like the dysfunctional family we have become. Which would be okay if you would stop airing dirty laundry and start airing common sense. You shut down National Parks, Monuments and buildings with signs that were at the ready to tell the World that the reason vacations and school trips were canceled were due to a Government shut down.

Exactly how much did those signs cost?

This impasse has affected more than government programs but local businesses. A hotel was shut down in VA for having the nerve to stay open during the shut down. This family-run business located on Federal Land had reservations to uphold and now will lose their hard earned patronage while you squabble.

You left the Supreme Court in session and maintained your staffers yet children will go hungry if their local governments cannot underwrite WIC.

Employees have been furloughed with no promise of retroactive pay. These are not young single people living with their parents but men and women who have served their employer, the US Government, with diligence and now may not be able to pay their mortgage or feed their children.

The NIH has been affected by the shut-down leaving cancer patients without protocols and trials.

Next will it be Social Security? Which, is not an entitlement, but something our seniors have spent their lives paying into and now depend on for little things like food, heat and medications.

Our paychecks continue to be garnished for taxes that are to support Government services and you are not providing them. In truth you are forgetting your purpose to your constituents.

It appears that our own Government is attacking those most likely to be hurt to prove their point. Both sides seem to be so stuck in their position that they are not willing to see the fallout.

In the end the question is why? This is the question that the President, the Senate and Congress has not answered for the American People.

Thank you for your time.

 

The Ultimate Soundtrack

When making my mix-tape this week (on time!) I tried to stay current and then realized that the last 4 movies I have seen were from Disney. Oh, and Grease since that is Boo’s current obsession. Proving I am a product of my teen years my ultimate soundtrack would have to include:


We should probably live by the line: Just once in his life a man has his time and that time is NOW and I am coming alive?


If you are going to have a soundtrack then you need John Cusack to pay your mix tape. In a boom box outside your window.


I always felt bad for Ducky and after St. Elmo’s Fire I never really liked Andrew McCarthy anyway.

 

I fell in love, LOVE, I tell you with Lou Diamond Phillips thanks to La Bamba and of course he played the best Young Gun…


Bon Jovi, Lou Diamond Phillips and a great song? What a way to end my teenage years. But uh to live like a teen in my mix tape, if only Cusack would be in my driveway. Cause I know, just know, if he went to my high school he totally would have crushed on me.

31 for 21..okay 30 for 21 I am a day late :)

This post appeared last October when only about 3 people read my blog! Anyway, I am reposting it today to explain why I am participating in the 31 for 21 Challenge and why I am so thankful for their Community adopting other children who do not have Down Syndrome.

In typical Kerri fashion, I was a little late in following the rules.
                                                                                                                               

(originally posted 10/12/13)


I am trying to participate in the 31 for 21 challenge. Typical me, I am already late! But better late than never, right?

The 31 for 21 Challenge is in celebration of National Down Syndrome Month. Although Boo does not have Down Syndrome. A lot of the therapies created for kids with Down Syndrome work for her. So in appreciation…here we go!

Sign language has been key to Boo’s development. Without it I know Boo would still be non-verbal. For Boo, she learns the sign then pairs the verbal/sign and eventually she shouts the word (music to my tortured ears!).

Because of Boo’s speech therapist works primarily (weird coincidence!) with Down Syndrome children, she was an expert in sign and really believed Boo would benefit. C was so right. Boo still uses the more sign, although she will say it in tandem. Signs work for concepts, more than items now. Especially open and close. Boo relies on her signs to get her wants across when words fail. I find that when Boo is tired, she will sign more. C believes that there is more motor planning involved with speaking. Whereas signing is a visual concept Boo gets more readily. She can watch how the sign is formed, unlike a verbal command where so much is done internally.

Her first sign was “more”. I loved “more”. “More” meant Boo would eat (Teddy Grahams were a great motivator). Boo would sign for “more” food, bubbles and bounce. More gave way to “water”, “open”, “book”, “close” and “bubbles”. She signed for “puppy” and  “please” (did my proper mom’s heart proud).


It sounds weird to say this, but thanks to Down Syndrome Boo has benefited greatly. Without her knowledge of signing with Down Syndrome children, C might never have decided to teach us how to sign. It is due to the trials of Down Syndrome children that my Boo was able to communicate. In thanks for them I ask you to come and join me in grabbing the 31 for 21 Challenge button!