Author Archives: firebailey

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About firebailey

I possess many titles: wife, mom, advocate, runner, Bruins fan, lover chocolate and Parrot Head. I believe you can conquer any challenge in this world with family, good friends and wine. I write about most of that and more while keeping my sense of humor in this life I never expected.

She partied like she was 19

This Christmas I did something to insure I would not have to buy my mother another gift, card, flowers or anything for the next 12 months. I could probably dye my hair hot pink and she would still have to forgive me. The gift I got her at Christmas was that great (not to brag or anything).

When I was 12 my mother was going to a concert with three friends, one of whom bailed the day of the concert. Although money was extremely tight in our lives, my mom incurred the expense of a babysitter and allowed me to go with her and her friends. It was the first time I saw my mom as an adult, not a mom. One who had conversations and laughter a part from our family. It was eye-opening and something I have never forgotten. Continue reading →

When being proved wrong is a reward

When Bridget gets an invitation to a birthday party, my first response is no freaking way are we going. Of course I get that she is being invited by her friends, those who know her from school and want her to attend. Even with continued successes I still worry that she will not act appropriately or become overwhelmed or not participate. She proves me wrong every freaking time. Continue reading →

Friends, Bonfires and Margaritas…

Remember when we used to count down the last month of school? I swear at one point in my life I looked forward to the end of school more than I did Christmas morning. Except there was no advent calendar filled with chocolate. Summer has taken on a different meaning.

Don’t worry I’m not going to bore you with the hardships of trying to entertain children, find childcare coverage and honest fear of the phrase, “I’m bored”. Continue reading →

Unknown issues

The conversation started innocently. I was at a friend’s cookout. A mutual friend and I began conversing about CCD (Catholic education). Bridget is of the age to begin CCD and learn the rites of passage in the faith. There are just a few small problems with that: 1. While she is of “age” she is not of “grade” (most children begin at 1st grade) 2. Learning (enough said) and 3. while most kids do not understand what sin is they do know right from wrong.

Do I wait for Bridget to become “aware” or enter first grade or do I enter her now (at the age she should)? Do I push her through the system because that is what Catholics do, go through the rites or do I say screw it and just let those rites pass her by. Somehow the conversation turned to my unspoken deeper issue with God.

The woman innocently said to me, God only gives special children to special parents. Unknowingly opening a wound I had held in secret. She was trying to be nice, trying to comfort and she (probably) truly believes those words. As a mom living with a special needs child this was my response: Continue reading →

Where there is a Will….

We have decided to become mature adults and begin our estate planning. Gosh, I sound like a Trump. However the older we get, we have to be responsible and make sure Bridget is protected. Although she is young, her care is a lifetime decision. One that will be impacted by the whim of our government and by those who we choose to care for our daughter. Continue reading →

Dear Class of 2015

Dear Class of 2015,

I know the last thing you want to hear right now is more advice from someone who graduated high school before the internet existed. You want to get through the commencement addresses, the awards and the “this is what you need to know” crap and get to the important stuff: THE PARTY.

Not the party your family is throwing for you but the real party. The after-party you and your friends will be having later tonight.

But bear with me a moment. Continue reading →

Dear Disney (You got it wrong)

Dear Disney,

You got it wrong. Usually your TV programs are the one I encourage my children watch. Imagine my surprise the other evening when my children were watching “Jessie“. In the episode, Bye Bye Bertie, the loyal butler had enough of the children’s shenanigans and quit. Yes! I thought to myself. Finally the children (and mine) are being taught a lesson that adults are to be respected, that we are not here to just clean up their messes and we are not their friends.

Cue the next scene, when the butler is hired by the neighbor. A rich, extravagant woman with fetishes. First, what the hell are fetishes doing on a Disney program? Sure they go over my child’s head but Disney, you are sending a subliminal message and it isn’t pretty.

Then it got worse.

The rich lady had the butler put on tight shorts, talked to him in a degrading fashion and proceeds to chase him around the condo.

Does he quit because of the abuse? No.

Does he say, “you cannot treat hired help this way”? No.

Does he in anyway defend himself of call her on her actions? No.

Does he call the police, the condo association or any victim help group? No.

Do the children he used to serve and his former co-worker protect or defend him when they see him being abused? NO.

The Butler only quits when the children apologize for their behavior and ask him to come back. He is immediately replaced by another butler who is immediately subjected to the behavior that hasn’t been allowed in the workplace since Lilly Tomlin showed her boss who was in charge 9-5.

Did the Butler, the children or the nanny stop the abuse of the new butler? No. They ran away laughing.

Disney, if this had been an episode where the pretty nanny had to dress in tight clothes and be subjected to lewd comments from her rich boss it wouldn’t have made it from the writer to the table read. The episode would not have been filled with a laugh-track but poignant moments where you taught children everywhere what a respectful workplace looks like and how employers treat their employees.

Or they face a lawsuit and criminal charges.

Disney you could have done great with this episode. Debby Ryan, the STAR of the show, has been very public about being in an abusive relationship. She has a campaign about dating violence. Do you not think that maybe workplace violence falls into that same category? Did not one person at the network or on the show say this episode might be sending the wrong message?

Disney, you could have shown children how Bertram stood up for himself, how the children he serves stood up for him and how his coworker (their nanny) taught them how to behave.

Instead you went for the cheap laugh.

And my children have one more TV Show on their “do not watch” list.

Sincerely,
A parent who knows what is funny and what is criminal behavior.

Kindness makes yard work more enjoyable

Last weekend I decided to plant a vegetable garden. Why you ask? I have no freaking idea. I hate yard work but was feeling industrious. It was the first warm weekend of the Spring. One where I was certain we wouldn’t need coats until September (I was proven wrong on Monday). I convinced David to dig me a 8×4 area of the yard before he left for work. Bridget and I had the day alone together and figured it would be an opportunity to get her used to being on the grass and in the dirt.

She loved it. Continue reading →

LTYM “Imperfect Model”

On May 9, 2015 eleven women came together to tell their stories at Listen To Your Mother Boston. Here is my feelings (previously unpublished) about becoming an imperfect model.

View More: http://amyemilyphotography.pass.us/ltym--boston

Photo credit: Amy/Emily Photography

Continue reading →