Category Archives: jen kehl

I’m guilty

I admit it, I’m guilty of sucking at Valentine’s Day. I am guilty of forgetting to get David a card until minutes before the deadline. I refuse to get the children gifts. David, I went all 1980’s and made a mix-tape, well CD, for him of his favorite 1980’s music. Jen would be proud. But like all of my mix-tapes it was probably the wrong theme of the week!

Before  we were married I went all out for V-day. We would go away for the weekend especially if it fell, like this year, on a 3-day weekend. A huge gift, a sappy card and something from Victoria’s. Those days are long gone my friends.

Now it is just another day for me. Which makes me sad in some ways. But more angry in others. Why do the marketing geniuses have to make me guilty for Valentine’s Day? Isn’t it enough that I tell my husband and children that I tell them I love them every day. Multiple times during the day:

  • When they wake up
  • When I or they leave
  • When I talk to them on the phone
  • When I or they come home
  • When I am about to scream loud enough to cause a sonic boom over homework but still say I love you but DO YOUR FREAKING HOMEWORK

I counted and yesterday I told every member of the family I loved them a total of 173 times. That number may or may not be made up. But wait there is more! I also show them I love them every day:

  • When I feed them
  • When I shower them (the girls not David)
  • When I provide clean clothes
  • When I do not murder them for not starting the laundry (the David not the girls)
  • When I give them the last brownie–homemade mind you
  • When I do not throw away all their toys when I step on a Barbie shoe in my bare feet
  • When I put down the wonderful book I am reading (Fault in Our Stars) to play a game with them
  • When I do not let them win at Connect Four

Combined I spend every minute of the day (awake, asleep and somewhat comatose) loving my family.  Why on earth do I have to spend $6 proving it with a card? 

So I plead guilty. I am guilty of not falling into the trap of Merchandiser’s Valentine’s Day.

Finish the Sentence Friday

Got my motivation….

The DJ Jen needs some songs to get motivated. It is hard enough to motivate myself yet I am there for a friend in need. But motivated for what? That is where I struggled. Then I listened to some really bad radio.

So Jen, here are the five songs guaranteed to motivate me to change the station!

What does the Fox say? Even my 10 year old hates this song. Luckily for me she knows the first few chords (are they chords?) and will alert me to change the station now? One day in the car I didn’t change fast enough and when it said What does the Fox say? Abby replied: Look out….it’s hunting season.

I have no idea why this next song bugs me so bad. But in the 80’s until today at noon when it came on again it just makes my stomach clench.

This should be a rule. If you are going to remake a song, make sure you can kill it. In the good way. Like Jimmy Buffet did with Scarlet Begonias or Southern Cross. Do not try to recreate perfection, fail and then put it on my radio.

I love Christmas music. I truly love it and would listen to it all year round if that wouldn’t make me a candidate for intervention. But some songs just don’t make sense. First I don’t even know what figgy pudding is. Second if you are going to demand it before you leave trust me something will be stuck up your nose. It might not be figgy pudding. Seriously think of the lyrics…it is the Christmas Stalking Song as Dr. Doofenshmirtz rightly proclaims.

And last but not least the song that has Abby & I screaming Change the Station NOW!!! If anyone tries to blur the lines with my daughter? Well, boyfriend hunting season should be year round!

This has been a motivation mix-tape for the wonderful Jen Kehl. Be sure to visit the other DJ’s and get motivated!

I made a mistake

Two apologies in one week? Nope! Jen over at Twisted Mix Tuesday wants a playlist for the time she I made a mistake. And she covered herself by saying it doesn’t have to be in love, cause there are all types of mistakes after all. 

Generally a mistake happens not because you did something wrong but because you got caught. Seriously, would Bill Clinton ever have apologized if not for a blue dress? Here is my list of you should’ve known better before you needed to confess to your parents, your spouse, your nation and/or your God.

The Dixie Chicks stepped in it. Not for having their view but for having the nerve to say their view in a foreign country thereby offending every one of their base. You know, the ones that buy the records (they are still called records, right?). It didn’t help that this would have been a non-issue had our next gentleman made sure everyone knew about it.

Tobey, Tobey, Tobey….I like your music. You have one of the best concerts ever. But please remember, you are a musician not a politician. This song proves your depth, your feeling and why you are the way you are. Knowing that you wanted to reach out one more time to a friend. Priceless. That you were honest enough to say you were crying more for yourself? We’ve all been there.

Madonna probably had more songs about mistakes in the 80’s & 90’s than most of us in our lifetime. Papa Don’t Preach was great because it had Danny Aiello, who I wanted to be my dad in the worst way in the 80’s. Who didn’t after Moonstruck?  But it was also the song that any girl who ever found herself ‘in that way’ felt. That they probably were due the lecture but needed the support.

This is officially the biggest mix-upped tape I have ever compiled. I’ve covered Nation, God and Dad. Now about that spouse:

Elton, oh he could say sorry without saying it at all. Oh and there should be one last mistake song. As in a mistake this song was written, performed and put onto the internet:

Come on now, I dare you to use that as a pick-up line.  How about you? What is your song that says oops you did it, again?

Twisted Tuesday….

Jen is going to be so freaking proud of me. I think I am following the rules this time! Today is the 27th, right? See I even looked a second time to make sure I was paying attention. Then I thought I could have sworn this was already a topic…turns out that was just about dumping some one and feeling bad about it. And then inspiration by way of a  mix tape fairy magically providing inspiration. In the form of an e-mail from Jen telling me exactly what this week’s topic is. Phew. Crisis averted.

Since I am so not ready to admit that I suck, I am throwing the best you suck songs into the mix.

Carrie Underwood probably has the best did me wrong anthem and she commits vandalism something we never expected from our sweet American Idol! This you suck song isn’t about me but for a rat jerk that just did this to his awesome wife.

Where is that baseball bat? Oh look, Miranda has it. (Quick aside, how many of us think Blake sleeps with one eye open?)

No one can sing you suck better than Ms. Simon. From being vain to not having time for the pain. Her lyrics about those who dare hurt us? Basically she says bite me but in a way that you never realize she is talking about you. Taylor Swift should probably take notes.

And  who says you suck better than Carole King? The ultimate song goddess. For your listening pleasure: You go your way, I’ll go mine (because you suck).

Okay, I admit I added the you suck to the end of the song title. But it kind of works, don’t you think?

And I just realized that I (sort of) broke the rules by only having four songs on my mix-tape. Crap. But wait, I can totally fix this!!!

Should you be the recipient of any of the above songs saying you suck, may I suggest you reply:

Oh and to my husband, should I ever need to send you a you suck tape be afraid. Be very afraid. Because I am so starting with something from Miranda!