This week’s Finish that Sentence Friday is a typical day in my life looks like….

My day? That is just so boring and uneventful. Plus you get to read about it here everyday!

I thought what a typical day in my life if it was casted by Disney (blame my girls and their obsessions).

9am I would wake to the sound of beautiful theme music and sunshine. Not the kind of sunshine that blares into your skull like a solar flare. The nice, warm sunshine that makes your skin glow. Glow like you are a vampire in Twilight (okay, not a Disney movie. Already off-topic, are you surprised?). 

10am after a long, blissful shower where the only sounds I heard would be birds chirping I would come down the grand staircase (without tripping) to see my children dressed in their best gowns without a smear, smudge or wrinkle. They would be sitting quietly awaiting my morning smile. As we proceed to the dining room to a healthy, already made and still warm breakfast we would talk about the adventures they would undertook in their dreams with their Nana (the dog from Peter Pan).

11am breaksfast would be over and the girls would go with their day Nanny (Mary Poppins, of course) and stay perfectly content. They would sing songs and do crafts or whatever Nanny’s do with their charges.

From this point on I would spend the day lunching with friends, going to the gym (no scratch that, if this is a Disney movie I would be in perfect shape), playing classical music on not just one instrument but five and I would not have one hair out of place. Oh and I might pencil in a pedicure.

Of course all the household chores would be performed by a nice young girl and her hand maidens.

6pm the family would reassemble in the dining room for a gourmet meal, a meal my children will eat without complaint. The girls would sit in their seats (read: not on my lap). Life would be in perfect harmony.

8pm both girls would be snug in their beds, watched by faithful Nana. I am sure Mary Poppins is out somewhere with Bert.

The husband would be home from a hard day of fighting the evil witch. We would go out for a nightcap or two (hey, I was off the Disney-theme in paragraph 1). My hair would still not be out of place….

Oh, crap. I just realized all the moms in the Disney movies are dead. Never mind! I will keep my life, as boring as it is!

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Dear Mother….Nature that is,

Are you feeling okay? I am wondering if perhaps you are suffering from menopause or the flu or some ailment that has confused you.

It is April. Not January or February. March is over. Last night my heat kicked on and I had it set at 58 degrees. I had to wear flannel pajama bottoms. Boo had to wear her thermal sleeper.

It was 24 degrees this morning when I left the house. I had to start the car early and defrost the windshield. We had to wear our winter coats and to Allie’s dismay she had to wear a hat.

It is April. You need to turn up the thermostat. My daffidolis are frozen and my tulips are stunted. You do not need to go too high, like 98 degrees in July. But I would appreciate something in the high-50’s if it wasn’t too much trouble.

With warmest regards,
Kerri

Many writers like Becca, more eloquent than I could ever be, have written about Robert Saylor’s murder. I am sorry that the Grand Jury didn’t see his death as a homicide. But it was. The question is who is at fault? The aide who left him unattended, the police officers that “may” have used excessive force or the theater worker who called THREE security officers?

Over the weekend, I spoke about my outrage that the officers didn’t understand they were dealing with a person with diminished understanding. Many of the people I spoke with are ‘in the field’ police/fire. They offered another perspective. They told me that I couldn’t possibly understand what the officers saw. That often people who are out of control maybe on drugs, may have a psychosis that the officers are unaware of, that there could be a host of other factors that impacted the officer’s judgement. We do not know what the theater worker told them, when they arrived on scene. We do not know if the aide had informed the theater worker that Robert was a man who had Down syndrome and did not understand that he could not stay in the theater. That she had called his mother and they would get him out of the theater as soon as they could.

I do not know what could have possibly made the officers think they were dealing with anyone other than a person with a disability. I have never responded to an emergency. But what I do not, and will not, understand is how this was an emergency?

We do not know the testimonies of the Grand Jury and what led to the acquittal. But we do know that Robert called for his mommy. How scary could he have been that it took three officers to try to restrain him?

The first responders I spoke with stated they do not have enough training in matters like these. They are trained in dealing with hardened criminals, drug-dealers, wife-beaters, how to respond to victims, sexual harassment, etc…but not on how to deal with a person who may have an intellectual disability. There simply isn’t enough funding to go around, right? We are laying off teachers, city workers, police and fire. They may be correct, maybe we need to place the guilt not so much on the off-duty officers, but on their lack of training.

As tax-payers, as parents, as for anyone with any ounce of common sense  I think we need to demand training in deescalating a situation with a person who has an intellectual disability. And it should be mandatory. When 1 in every 88 children have autism and 1 in 691 children are born with Down syndrome, it is a good bet that safety officers will come into contact with at minimum one person who has an intellectual disability!

I reached out to our school safety officer and asked her about the training they receive. She told me that as the SRO she keeps current on her training in dealing with youths with autism. However it is not required.

It should be taught in their police and fire academies and be required core training annually. 

Today is dedicated to autism awareness. But sadly, I wonder what is the point is raising awareness for Autism, for Down Syndrome, heck for Food Allergies if the most important person responding to an emergency does not have the training to help rather than to harm?
Never again should we hear that they didn’t know. Never again should we hear a Robert Saylor crying for his mommy.

Boo is now (thank goodness) on a 6m schedule for her specialist appointments. We try to group the visits together so we only have one 2-3 hour trip but that never happens. So for the month of April it seems we drive back and forth every week.

It is really, really, really hard not to get frustrated. I do like and respect all of Boo’s doctors. Okay, not all. There is one that moved to Singapore that I haven’t forgiven for leaving us and I cannot stand her replacement. So make that I like and respect all but 2 of Boo’s doctors.

But I am constantly amazed that if you think of the amount of time, money and devotion they have spent on their profession they would have more to offer us than:

                     Boo is an enigma

Really, I knew that and I did not go to Harvard. Think about it, because I am not alone in this, Boo has 14 that is FOURTEEN different doctors, fellows, and researchers looking over her chart. She has an additional team of 10 therapists (between SPT/OT/PT) and let’s not forget that she has her teachers and aides that are part of her team.

So combined, the education and experience of about 30 people have no idea why Boo is the way she is and what it means for her future.

Instead this is what we are told:

• We never thought Boo would talk
• We never thought Boo would walk
• The science isn’t there yet
• Boo doesn’t fit X syndrome because she does Y
• We don’t know why she turns blue in only her hands and feet.
• You have her in all the treatments we would suggest so just keep up the good work.

• Boo is in 3 hours of physical therapy a week
• Boo is in 3 hours of occupational therapy a week
• Boo is in 4 hours of speech therapy a week
• Boo is in a special education program 32 hours a week
• Boo has a family that is integrating therapy in everything she does
• Boo has a family that will NEVER stop looking for answers–so quit telling me to stop looking.
• Boo works harder at her life than you do looking at her chart (okay, I don’t say this but I think it really loudly)

No FMF does not mean F*/*-/ my Family 🙂

It is time for 5 minute Friday. Here are the rules: Write for 5-minutes, without editing, back-tracking, over-thinking. Always hard for me to do! And in complete honesty I had to re-start this one. More than once. Because this week’s prompt brings so many thoughts.

This week’s Finish that Sentence Friday is so much easier than last week’s (thank goodness!). Off we go….

If I could hang out with any celebrity it would be…not just one. I know I am a greedy girl. Here is my reasoning.

If I could hang out with any celebrity for cooking lessons it would be Curtis Stone. You know that guy from Biggest Loser and Top Chef. Oh you don’t?

photo credit: google images

Hmmmmm…where was I? Oh yes, not only do I think (based on all his TV appearances) that he is a good cook, I think my kitchen would look much spiffier with him in it.

If I could hang out with any celebrity for a glass of wine it would be Sandra Bullock. I think she would just be like having a glass of wine with a gorgeous girl next door that ignored us in high school but realizes 30 years later that we are super cool. We could watch Curtis while he cooked and we sipped.

If I could hang out with any celebrity for my girls it would be Selena Gomez because then I could make Allie’s wish come true. Plus if she really is a Wizard then maybe she can use her magical powers to clean my house.


If I could hang out with any celebrity for comic relief it would be Jeff Dunham. Yes, he plays with dolls. But come on that guy is freaking hysterical. Imagine having this at the dinner table with Curtis?

photo credit google images what would we do without google?

If I could hang out with any celebrity for romance it would be Mark Walhberg. I know you were thinking George Clooney based on my New Years resolutions. And yes, he has a dream home on Lake Cuomo. But  his girlfriend is some ex-WWF wrestler and three times my height and muscle mass. I would rather eat weird food with Phil than take her on in the ring. But that aside, I have more of a chance running into Mark in Boston than I do meeting George on Lake Cuomo. This is only, of course, in the event that both my husband and his wife were ill-disposed. Not that I am planning anything….

If I could hang out with any celebrity for my husband it would probably be the Duck Dynasty guys because then they could take him hunting. I wouldn’t have to go, right? Maybe Mark would be available that weekend 🙂

If I could hang out with any celebrity for travel it would be that guy from the Amazing Race who I cannot think of his name right now. I could google it, but you know who I mean. Phil something. It doesn’t matter, really. But imagine all the cool places he could take us to and the adventures we would have. Other than sky diving or bungee jumping or eating weird food. Never mind,I would like to change my pick to Oprah for traveling partner. First class all the way, Atlantis and I am sure her friend Gayle would make awesome accommodations for us.

 And that is how I finished the sentence this Friday. I probably should have been more high-brow and chosen a Saint or some who uses their celebrity for good. But, well….that is just not me!

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I’m exhausted, so I am doing a quick mind/blog dump!

I am so freaking proud of my nephew. He is part of the reason I am exhausted. Yesterday we woke up at 3 freaking AM to attend his swearing in as a Seamen before he left for Basic Training. I already miss him. He doesn’t live close by but thanks to the Bruins we text every time a game is on.

Speaking of the Bruins…you would think I would go to bed early? Right, I mean up at 3am…but no I stayed up to watch the battle with the Canadians. That we lost. I think the big, bad B’s had better shape up soon. Thankfully my nephew got spared the game. Although my other one was tortured with me.

Boo is sick. Again. With the creeping crud. Kristi I swear if her and Tucker keep kissing…kidding! Of course, mom of the year that I am, I sent her to school. No fever and she wasn’t cranky. So I figure go and get well.

My friend, who lost a child to SIDS a year ago is doing a fundraiser in her son’s name Colby’s Crusade. I do not know how she survived the experience. I think of all I go through with Boo and am feeling so blessed. That Kandi would not hide under the covers, but share her story and help prevent another parent having to suffer. I am in awe. SIDS is the leading cause of death in babies. More than cancer, Cystic Fibrosis or heart disease. Before Kandi told me, I had no idea that an estimated 8, that is EIGHT, babies die every day from SIDS. And there is no science that can tell us why.

And I get ticked that Boo is undiagnosed.

On a lighter note, the hubs and I actually watched a movie together and it was Disney (yeah us!). Rock of Ages, you would think with all the talent, Alec Baldwin at least, it would be a good movie. It was one of those you were positive would improve. But not so much.

Of course now I have an 80’s soundtrack playing over and over in my head.

Okay now going for caffeine. End of brain dump, thanks for reading my exhausted thoughts!

Are you out of the closet? The blogging closet, not the other one where I hid the fudge brownies!

I am ‘out’ to about all of 6 people that I know in my real life, as opposed to this still-toddler stage virtual one. This number does not include my husband, who has been told TWICE, but sometimes manages to forget. Only two of the four read on a regular basis. The others, I am not sure if I ever drew the map on how to get here. If they do visit here often they never let me know.

I remain on the threshold of that closet door wondering if it is a good decision to come out or safer to remain inside. On one hand, I get to use this forum like a therapist couch and on the other I am sharing more with strangers than my own circle.

In typical Kerri fashion I devised a pro/con list:

• I don’t offend anyone that I will meet in the grocery store. Like the time I complained about the friend who drank all my wine.
• I can be heartbreakingly honest without fear that a friend will be calling to ask me if I am okay. Because you just know I will respond, if you read the blog than you know I am not!
• I don’t have to worry when I complain about how some random comment hurt my feelings and making that person feel bad.
• I can say anything on this blog without a care that what I say may be misconstrued, gossiped about or whatever. If I don’t like something you comment on this blog I can delete it (like that SPAMMER who tried to sell you something in my comments section) and move on.
• I am potentially limiting people who can help Boo.
• I am definitely limiting their understanding of her.
• I am shrinking my village/circle/support system by not being honest
• Staying in the closet where there are brownies, I am definitely not offending any family members when I vent via blog. Just imagine the Yankee Swap at Christmas if I tick off a sister-in-law.
• I am not getting phone calls that asks was it X who said that about Boo?
• I’m not getting calls from Mom either in embarrassment (what did you & Tia do in SPAIN!) or in worry (why didn’t you tell me you broke!)
• I am not letting Boo’s friends and family know all about her hard work and triumphs.
• No one is telling my husband all of the crazy things I write. (total bonus)
• By staying in the closet I may not be helping friends who are too scared or tired to ask for help
• I am not boring any friends who get tired of Facebook posts about the “R” word, World Down Syndrome Day and fundraisers for my favorite cause Children’s Hospital. Although the fundraiser included beer so they probably didn’t mind that one as much.
• I might get more Top Mommy votes and move up from oblivion (warning shameless plug below)

GO VOTE 🙂

After reviewing the list, I am still on the edge of the closet. Because I started this blog as a means of therapy. A place I can say anything and not worry about anyone else but me. Then as it evolved into a daily occurrence (something I never imagined) with followers, I thought it was too late now to tell people. 

Do I send a birth of a blog announcement? Or a hey, I’ve been keeping a secret announcement like I did for Jenn and Tia.

Plus, I think there are brownies and wine around in this closet, for sure somewhere. Probably under the shoes….

Quick disclaimer…this is not a dad bashing. But sometimes we all question (at least I do) if we are moms or something less. And taking a riff from Jeff Foxworthy I have come up with my own list to decide if you are a mom or not quite yet.

If you can tell instantly upon walking into the house the difference between your child’s hazmat, your dog may have pooped on the floor or your husband just broke wind…you might be a mom.

If your child wakes up at 3am and can find you snug in your bed, after traveling up a flight of stairs in the dark and totally bypassing the other side of the bed, the one closer to the door….you might be a mom.

If you get called at work to find out if that shirt that is folded in the laundry basket is clean or dirty and/or if that thing is the fridge is still good to eat…you might be a mom.

If you can tell by your child’s cry over the baby monitor if they will be going back to sleep quickly or if you need to run into their room to prevent a full-scale meltdown…you might be a mom.

If you can simultaneously cook dinner, do the dishes and stop a sibling squabble without burning anything…you might be a mom.

If you would rather lay on the couch and snuggle your child (at any age) instead of going out on a Friday night…you might be a mom.

If you eat the last fudge brownie in the laundry room while you let your child watch another hour of TV….you might be a mom. Heck, if you ate the whole tray of brownies in the laundry room you are definitely a mom!

If you have held a child on your lap while you have ate, drank or peed….you might be a mom.

If a child has crawled into bed at 3AM and it took the man person on otherside of the bed 4 hours to realize that there is a third person there…you might be a mom.

If you understand that meltdown-thirty  immediately  proceeds wine-thirty…you might be a mom.

If a child has broken and mended your heart at the exact same moment…you might be a mom.

If you have woken up on a Monday morning and thought to yourself thank God they go to school today…you might be a mom.

If you know the schedule of the PBS programming without looking at the guide….you might be a mom.

If you have ever turned a child upside down in public and sniffed to see if a diaper might need changing…you might be a mom.

And last but not least….


If you read this post and not only laughed but nodded your head…you might be a mom.

So, how do you tell if you are a mom?

Today’s Five-minute spark is: Remember

Remember when we first met? We were twelve and there was a crazy teacher in the room who wore rocks on her head. Thru fate we sat at that science table together. I was shy, you were pretty. You asked me over that day afterschool.

It was the first time a friend had invited me over, just me, that I can recall.

We were fast friends, ultimate confidants. We spent weeks at each other’s houses. I always wanted to spend more time at yours. You freaked me out with horror movies. I had to move my bed away from the windows after one Jason movie.

We traveled to Spain together, with a contract your mom made us sign that said we wouldn’t let others come between us, we would not fight and we would not leave the other alone in a strange country.

You taught me how to use a tampon, in Spain of all places. And when it fell out because I did it wrong you were the only one not to laugh but call encouragement and more explicit directions through the door.

When my family fell apart, you stood by. When you had the life I envied, you always made sure to I was a part of your adventures. You went to college, married and traveled to another country without me. Yet you were always there.

Then you moved back and we found that even years and miles apart, we were still as close as when we were 12.

We have survived break-ups, marriages and childbirth. When I had Allie you were there with joy. When I had Boo you were there with joy and more importantly understanding. You are my rock, my friend and my sister.

Remember when we were 12 and there was that crazy woman teaching a class with rocks on her head?  Who would have thought we would still be holding on 30 years later……

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