Author Archives: firebailey

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About firebailey

I possess many titles: wife, mom, advocate, runner, Bruins fan, lover chocolate and Parrot Head. I believe you can conquer any challenge in this world with family, good friends and wine. I write about most of that and more while keeping my sense of humor in this life I never expected.

I made a mistake

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Two apologies in one week? Nope! Jen over at Twisted Mix Tuesday wants a playlist for the time she I made a mistake. And she covered herself by saying it doesn’t have to be in love, cause there are all types of mistakes after all. 

Generally a mistake happens not because you did something wrong but because you got caught. Seriously, would Bill Clinton ever have apologized if not for a blue dress? Here is my list of you should’ve known better before you needed to confess to your parents, your spouse, your nation and/or your God.

https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/pojL_35QlSI&source=uds

The Dixie Chicks stepped in it. Not for having their view but for having the nerve to say their view in a foreign country thereby offending every one of their base. You know, the ones that buy the records (they are still called records, right?). It didn’t help that this would have been a non-issue had our next gentleman made sure everyone knew about it.

https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/AHZCAcSh7ls&source=uds

Tobey, Tobey, Tobey….I like your music. You have one of the best concerts ever. But please remember, you are a musician not a politician. This song proves your depth, your feeling and why you are the way you are. Knowing that you wanted to reach out one more time to a friend. Priceless. That you were honest enough to say you were crying more for yourself? We’ve all been there.


https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/G333Is7VPOg&source=uds



Madonna probably had more songs about mistakes in the 80’s & 90’s than most of us in our lifetime. Papa Don’t Preach was great because it had Danny Aiello, who I wanted to be my dad in the worst way in the 80’s. Who didn’t after Moonstruck?  But it was also the song that any girl who ever found herself ‘in that way’ felt. That they probably were due the lecture but needed the support.

This is officially the biggest mix-upped tape I have ever compiled. I’ve covered Nation, God and Dad. Now about that spouse:

https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/c3nScN89Klo&source=uds



Elton, oh he could say sorry without saying it at all. Oh and there should be one last mistake song. As in a mistake this song was written, performed and put onto the internet:




https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/onn8x-qDrtg&source=uds

Come on now, I dare you to use that as a pick-up line.  How about you? What is your song that says oops you did it, again?



I owe an apology

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Like many, I have fallen trap to a Facebook hoax. I reshared a link that stated Jenny McCarthy informed the world that her son did not have autism. Thankfully she was quick to rebuke the misleading information. By misinformation I am speaking to the fact that she has never said her son does not have autism.

I rarely reshare celebrity stories or thoughts because I usually do not believe (or care about) the hype.  But in this case it hit a nerve.

 

I admire Ms. McCarthy for being a proponent of autism education. I admire her dedication to her son and her willingness to say this is what autism looks like. I do wish more people would say MAY look like.  As any friend of mine with a child who has autism will tell you, they are unique from the color of their hair to their behavior to their abilities.

However her strong campaign against vaccination is something I cannot agree. It worries me when people use a celebrity endorsement to justify their own actions or non-actions. It is one thing to decide to go gluten-free to do your own investigation on how your child will react. It is another not to vaccinate your child (and potentially expose other children) to a life-threatening disease. In the only published study linking vaccinations to autism the lead researcher lost his medical license due to his irresponsibility in the conduction of the study and the study was revoked from medical publication. 

I understand that you can interpret a study to suit your purpose. Pro- or anti- vaccine link. I am not speaking to that as I am completely inept at that discussion.To paraphrase the Vice President of Clinical Innovation at Cedars-Sinai stated to the National Geographic: you can have an opinion but you cannot state that opinion as fact.

I have two different views on this subject, from two ladies I both respect and admire.

The first is a mom who decided not to vaccinate her children. However she did this after reading medical journals, doing her own research and consultation with her children’s pediatricians.

The second is a mom who vaccinated her children, but to her it was a deep seeded belief to vaccinate. Her mom was a polio survivor. But survivor is probably a poor term. Her mother was a polio warrior. One who suffered in the time before vaccination. She fought polio until her death at age 70. Her children watched her suffer and live with grace.

Myself? I honestly didn’t think of it with either child. I automatically vaccinated them. However with Boo I spoke with her pediatrician and they modified the schedule due to her health issues. Our Pedi is great. She is very conservative when it comes to vaccinations–even the flu shot–and will minimize the quantity of vaccinations given at one visit. And if you have a runny nose? She will reschedule your appointment and not six months from now. Just call and stop by. She is quite awesome, in addition to saving Boo’s life five years ago.

I am on my soapbox here, and I admit it. I also have no problem telling you and everyone else my opinion on something. But you should never use a “Jenn said” as your reason for choosing a course of action with your child.  

As far as autism and the decision not to vaccinate, research has proven that there is no correlation. In most cases this would be a non-issue. The studies have proven time and again that there is no link. However celebrity causes will continue to advocate for more research. Which is great, that is what you should advocate: more research not telling a scared mom that a vaccine gave her child autism.

The decision not to vaccinate your child should be based on your own research, consultation with your physician and a heck of a lot of soul-searching.

But never on the basis of a celebrity. 

Goals

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My blogging goals for this year are not so easily defined.  I really don’t have any! If I had to list goals, and I do because the FTSF ladies told me to, it would be:

Okay, totally stumped here. I mean, it’s a blog and its mine I should have some type of goal. Right? I started the blog more as a mind-dump/stress reliever more than anything else. It has evolved into something more. So much more.


I have regained, found, created and been given friendships I didn’t know existed. I have become an advocate, a humorist, and sometimes self-pitying mom. I have helped and been helped. I have counseled and been counseled.I have laughed, cried and been shocked on this blog.

I never knew words, my words, could hold power. I never realized back in June of 2012 when I started this journey that I would find support in my backyard and as far away as Australia. 
I guess my blogging goal for 2014 is to continue and grow. Thanks for helping me do both! 
Finish the Sentence Friday

Boo goes to the Movies

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We took Boo to her first ever movie theater experience. We were worried, she did great in the drive-in but who doesn’t have fun doing a sleep over in the back of a truck? Boo doesn’t do well with really loud noises and we were a bit concerned that she would be overstimulated.

 

We did not count on the popcorn. Or should I say her new favorite food (she does take after me!). We got a large popcorn and I think she ate 99% of it. She did get nervous with the noises but that didn’t really stop her from devouring the kernels.

Afterwards Abby asked her if she liked Frozen. Boo’s response: Princess Popcorn

Hmmm sure kid.

So it was a success. Except the movie theater is in the same plaza as her therapies. Every time we enter the parking lot we hear:

POPCORN!!!

So long 2013

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You know you are getting older when the year disappears faster than Miley Cyrus’s underwear. Seriously I do not know how time moved so fast between sitting on Jen’s couch on New Year’s Eve to driving to Florida for Thanksgiving. Let alone how fast Jolly St. Nick sent his free-loading elf to visit.

 

But the end is here, today. The end of 2013 when we worry about what the heck 2014 will bring. Cause that’s how I roll. Looking back at last year I realize that it was not only incredible but not quite as worrisome as I sometimes, well, worry.

January I had a couple of Holy Crap moments when dear blogging friends nominated me for awards. Sure the awards are totally made up and had no cash involved. Still it made this new blogger feel like she was making a difference. What a great way to start the year especially as I worried about being isolated in this life with Boo.

February was great. There was a lot of wine involved in making February great. Mother Nature was in a snit so she sent some fish named Nemo to wreck havoc on my sanity. During this time I thought about how Boo is really great at some things. Like banging blocks.


March I gave you my opinion on social media. You were enthralled and named me queen. I also enlisted into the war against  the “R” word.

April I took Five Minutes to talk about Boo’s newest accomplishment: Jumping. I also vented at the neurologist that said she never would. You will be glad to know that it is now December and she still hasn’t managed to jump off anything higher than the floor. Okay, I’m glad about that.

May we shared about how being a special mom is different. I also entered into the Babble Best of the Blogs. If you haven’t had a chance to vote (by visiting the site and hitting the Facebook Like or retweeting via Twitter), would you do it now? The voting ends soon and I will stop begging for votes! Okay, voting ends January 14. So I will probably be begging a bit longer. I was also one of the first residents of Our Land. If you have never made it over to the land Kristi created you are missing out.

June I played Listicles and while I rarely get the subject right, I did manage to entertain Dana. I also asked you what the heck I was thinking as I started running, it wasn’t pretty.

July I tried to be a Brady. I failed. It was epic. I blame Jen Kehl.

August I wrote a letter to Boo. It made my mom cry, not my intent. I hope someday both my children read it and understand that children never break us. They make us. (You better be paying attention K).

September brought the girls back to school and me a magic wand. Okay, not really but I finished the sentence “if I had a magic wand“. So same thing. I also vented a bit at the jerks who messed with Disney.

October I got to meet Kate! Of course I made her run and she really hasn’t been back since. I’m sure the mullet had nothing to do with that. I also took the easy way out with Boo and hope next time I put my big girl panties on.

November I explained why homework is so difficult in our house and once again messed with Jen’s mix-tapes. Boo went to her first ever birthday party. It was awesome.

December brought the freaking Elf. I’m still not over it.

Phew, 2013 was very busy. No wonder I’m exhausted! How was your year?

Joy’s 2013 wrap up

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Joy has invited all of us to join her in wrapping up the year that was. She even provided the prompts, because she is so sweet and helpful.

Joy @ i can say mama: 2013 Wrap up


Gained or lost weight? I freaking GAINED!!! While running I gained 5 freaking pounds. How unfair is that? I wasn’t running to lose weight, rather for stress and exercise. But to GAIN rather than maintain or lose. I call unfair.

Predominant feeling in 2013? If I had to chose one “feeling” to sum up 2013 I would have to say content. Overall it was a great year. Sure I stressed, I cried, I ran, I jumped with joy. But I end this year with a sense of contentment. I did the best I could and am happy with where my family is today.

Predominant feeling in 2014? It hasn’t happened yet 🙂

Something I did for the first time in 2013? I did a four-mile obstacle race and didn’t die (Abby was worried)

Something you did again in 2013 after a long pause? Running. And I enjoy it now which is weird.

Something you unfortunately did not do in 2013? Pay attention to the sign “NO DIVING”.

Word of the year? Literally. Abby has found this word and is literally using it incorrectly every time she says it. Literally.

City of the year? Boston Strong, of course!

Hair longer or shorter? The same. I’m boring that way.

More or less money spent? More, sad but true.

Highest mobile phone bill? Let’s not focus on how the money may have been spent.

Hospital stays? No, thank goodness!

(Fallen) In love? Every day

Most called person? David. Sure it is usually to ask him to pick up food, but it counts.

Whom did you spend the most beautiful time with? Okay anyway I answer this I am in trouble.

What did you spend most of your time with? Probably Facebook.

Song of the year? My favorite or American top 40’s? Mine would have to be Cruise by Florida/Georgia Line (the remix)

Book of the year? Defending Jacob

TV show/movie of the year? Big Bang Theory that show never gets old for me

Insight of the year? That I am not alone

Three things you totally could have done without? Diet coke, Miley Cyrus and Abby throwing up

Most beautiful event? Boo dancing on the sand

More short-sighted or more far-sighted than 2013? Short-sighted.

The most dangerous thing you did? Obstacle race. People there was a 10 foot wall!

The most expensive thing you bought? IPHONE

The most delicious meal or food you ate? Scallops at Bob Chin’s in Chicago

The best party? Any that I host, I just have the best time doing it.

The most important thing you wanted to convince somebody of? That they are not alone

The most beautiful present you gave to somebody? I think giving someone Thanksgiving dinner for my brothers birthday.

The most beautiful present that somebody gave you? My brother donated to Children’s Hospital in my name.

The most beautiful sentence someone said to you? Ov you

The most beautiful sentence you said to someone? I’ll let you live if you don’t eat the last piece of chocolate in the house.

How will you celebrate New Year’s Eve? At home where I will wake Abby up at 11:40 to watch the ball drop.

What will you have for dinner? Take-out, probably Chinese

What drinks will be in your glasses to clink? Hello, do you not know me? Pinot Grigio baby

Will you ignite any fireworks? Dude there is no way I am answering this question and going to jail

What are you going to wear? Comfy or glamorous? Comfy, always comfy

Did you have any resolutions for 2013? And how about 2014?  You can read about my resolutions here and how I did at the half-way point here. 2014 I only have two: to run a half-marathon and to not scream at my child/husband so loud the neighbors hear me.

What are your wishes for the new year? If you tell a wish it won’t come true…

In one word: 2013 was…spectacular. Literally.

A year of thankful

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I haven’t played with Lizzi in a while. Not that I haven’t been thankful, just been to busy to give Thanks. I am sure I’m not the only one! To suck up show how thankful I am here I am breaking the rules (go figure) and doing 12 things of thankful. One for every month of 2013 I survived. 

January, I was thankful for the Liebster award.

February, I was thankful for Abby’s sense of humor and honest about who her favorite person is (hint, not me).

March, I was thankful for people understanding that the word Retard means something different to me now and joining me in abolishing the word.

April made me thankful for Jimmy Buffett as I realize he gives us the soundtrack for a laid back life. The sound track, not the manual.

May I was thankful to be able to tell people what drives me crazy.

June I was not thankful for yard work but happy to know I am not alone.

July I was thankful for all the ways my girls make me smile.

August I was thankful for husbands.

September I was thankful the girls were back in school. Also that boys are gross.

October I was thankful for Boo’s therapists and friends that let me take the easy way out.

November I was just thankful for Boo.

December I am thankful that I have come a long way since January.




Ten Things of Thankful

Merry Christmas Eve!

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I was thinking of ways I can add more tradition to our Christmas. Not make is to much about the Elf. My friend Joy is from Germany and of course follows that Country’s traditions. Which, by the way do not include putting a pickle in your tree. So I thought let’s look at Ireland. But messed up and hit the link for Italy. Now, I know my mind is warped, but this struck me as beyond funny:

According to the History of Christmas: 

In Italy the children wait until Epiphany, January 6, for their presents. According to tradition, the presents are delivered by a kind ugly witch called Befana on a broomstick. It was said that she was told by the three kings that the baby Jesus was born, she was busy and delayed visiting the baby.

She missed the Star lost her way and has been flying around ever since, leaving presents at every house with children in case he is there. She slides down chimneys, and fills stockings and shoes with good things for good children and it is said leaves coal for children who are not so good.

Okay, first can you imagine Abby waiting until Jan 6th to open her gifts?  But more importantly what woman would not only miss the Star but then spend a million years flying around not stopping to ask for directions?


I will end this with a wish that you all have a Merry Christmas Eve my friends. May you not finish the wine before you finish putting the toys together and gifts under the tree!

We are still okay…

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Boo has had to undergo neurological/psychiatric testing over the past two weeks. There hasn’t been any issues, other than her turning five. In our state (for insurance purposes, I believe) once you turn the ripe old age of five you are no longer allowed to be undiagnosed and/or globally delayed.

Boo had to go twice, for two hours each day, to meet with a psychologist for a battery of tests. (I think battery is a strong word, she didn’t hurt Boo). The tests varied from intelligence/cognitive testing to behavioral/autism to play skills. Part of me wanted Boo to bomb the testing, securing her services. The good mom in me wanted her to excel.

Typical Boo she did a little of both and managed to frustrate the doctor. I wish I could have Kristi’s artistic talent to demonstrate the following (I tried, I failed, I didn’t want to hurt your eyes):

Doctor: Boo stack the blocks like this (imagine, two next to each other and one on top)
Boo: (hands the doctor the blocks after banging them for a minute)

Doctor: Can Boo climb onto and out of an adult chair?
Boo: Moves said chair next to exam table, proceeds to climb on top of chair, to table, to window sill in an attempt to get out of the room. We happen to be on the 10th floor and very thankful the windows don’t open.

I’m impressed that Boo realized she had to do something with both the blocks and the chair. The doctor is distressed that she cannot follow direction.

At the end of the two days the doctor asked us if we had any questions. I ask her how she feels Boo did. She had previously thrown out words: autism, PPD-NOS, mentally disabled, intellectually disabled, ADHD and a bunch of other terms. Her response:

I have to score the tests.

Hm…now those that know me know that I tend not to be brushed off. I (politely, I swear) reminded the woman that she was an experienced professional who must have some instinct to how Boo had tested.

After a moment or two she told us that she honestly didn’t know. That she wanted to show the test results and video to not only Boo’s neurologist (whom I adore and trust) along with other colleagues. How Boo performed was baffling:

She shows signs of Autism: Will not look the doctor in the eye.

She shows signs that a child with Autism wont: She told the doctor to “look” and sought her attention.

Autism: Hand flapping, quickly distracted, would not follow directions, toe walking
Not: Social, engaging with materials, attempts to please, would put heals down when prompted by cue

Autism: lack of safety awareness
Not: asked for help when trying to get down off the exam table

Intellectually disabled: Cannot copy a “t” on the paper
Not intellectually disabled: can hold a pencil in the correct grasp

ID: Cannot follow a two-step direction
Not: Knew she needed a pencil to draw on paper

ID: Poor motor planning
Not: Pushed chair to get to top of exam table

The examples go on and on. In the end the doctor said at this point Boo is a Medical Enigma.

Where have I heard that before?

She will convene a team (about damn time) to look over everything. She agrees (as do neurology and genetics) that whatever is going on is neurological in origin. In the end it doesn’t really matter what “term” they give Boo. I think Bridgetitis is a lovely term. We will continue to advocate, get therapies that work and love her the same with or without a medical diagnosis.

At five years old, she remains undiagnosed and we are still okay with that.