I possess many titles: wife, mom, advocate, runner, Bruins fan, lover chocolate and Parrot Head. I believe you can conquer any challenge in this world with family, good friends and wine. I write about most of that and more while keeping my sense of humor in this life I never expected.
I’m getting a little nervous about this week. I am super excited to be a Voice of the Year. I cannot wait to meet Wil Freaking Wheaton. I am words beyond description to meet my blog friends for the first time in real life. It is the first time I will be in NYC. Well, other than the one bus trip where we went for the day (15 years ago). We had a Cape Cod Happy Hour on Trump Plaza and my husband’s butt ended up out the bus window on the way back. (Long story). I think all we saw was the road the big toy store is on where there is that floor piano from the movie Big.
Every week my first every blog friend, Kristi, hosts the Finish that Sentence Friday. A few months ago she asked for sentence prompts with the idea of whomever came up with the prompt would co-host that week. It was a great idea as it kept this long-lasting blog hop going. At least that is what I thought when I gave her the prompt, “My first job….”Continue reading →
As many of you know I am beyond excited to meet Wil FREAKING Wheaton next week when we receive our Voice of the Year Awards together. I know, he might not show. But of course he is going to show! I mean, come on I’m going to be there!
I have some other news I am overwhelmed to share. I was asked to be a speaker/panelist at BlogHer 2015: Experts Among Us. I know, I am so not an expert. Just a mom sharing her journey. I will be part of a panel at Care To The People’s “The Healing Power of Stories”. I will be joined by other woman bloggers who have used their blogs to share their stories in order to build a community. They probably have earned the expert badge! I’m just happy to included.
If you happen to be at BlogHer ’15 in NYC on July 17th, I hope you join me for lunch. You will not only meet some wonderful writers, have a chance to connect with others to build your village and best yet have a delicious meal! All attendees will also be entered into a drawing. I am not sure what the prize is, but it would be great to meet everyone in person.
It finally happened. Bridget was invited over for her first ever official play date. A girl she went to school with last year had moved onto kindergarten without Bridget. Although “A” made new friends in kindergarten she never forgot her first “best friend” Bridget. She invited us to birthday parties and other events.
This would be the first time I would be just dropping off Bridget and going to work. In full disclosure, the mom is a trusted ESP who knows Bridget inside and out. I probably would not have been comfortable otherwise. Nervous, though, when I heard other neighborhood girls might be over to play.
Will they understand Bridget? I wondered. What if her friend is embarrassed or doesn’t want to play with her when her friends arrive? I worried.
For nothing. While I was at work worried that Bridget would not be accepted this happened:
She also played tea party, play dough (a substance banned from my house), painted and played. Bridget spun on the gymnastics bar and tried to do a cartwheel. She had snack and watched Sofia with the girls. She played Legos and colored. Bridget played for hours with children her actual, not developmental, age and older then her. It wasn’t noticed by any of the children that she was different than them.
My heart got three sizes too large as the text updates came in.
To “repay” our friend we had them over for dinner the following night. I watched as “A” interacted with Bridget. How she slowed down for her without realizing or explained how to play with the Barbie. I thought this is how it will be for Bridget. All her hard work, the therapies, the schooling will enable her to forge friendships. The typical peers will accept her for who she is and she will be included in their lives. Not because they have to, because they like Bridget.
Then “A” called Bridget a weirdo.
Here’s the thing though, Bridget was acting silly. “A” wasn’t being mean at all. She was laughing and treating Bridget just like she would any of her other friends. She called her on her silly behavior. When her mom (horrified) went to explain that “weirdo” wasn’t a nice word, “A” replied: it’s my best friend Bridget. I would never hurt her, she was just being silly and we were laughing. I felt bad, honestly. I had overheard the exchange and knew “A” didn’t mean any harm. She was just laughing with her friend. Yet thankful that my friend had overheard as well and used the moment to make sure that harmful words would not used to describe my child.
Sometimes a word is just a word but it serves as a learning moment for a little girl who just repeated a term she used in school.
One word she will now defend her best friend Bridget against.
Bridget has never played. She was always content to sit and watch. If prompted she would participate, however she never initiated play. Over the past six-months or so we noticed that she was becoming more animated, especially at school. Bridget began playing with her classmates in the “kitchen” or at the sand table. She would be heard telling them to “come on” and to “follow me”. Suddenly she was asking to be on their team, saying I play you. Her communication book was filled with details. Telling us that she played with “J” or was in the kitchen with “T” playing dolls.
I was reading this post by my friend, Sandy, the other day entitled Will Hate Win? It got me thinking about how each generation faces something that makes a parent cringe with fear. When I watch the news I wonder how is this the world I am raising my child in? How do I teach her to live a life without fear, when I have to teach her not to let her friend take a photo and put it on Instagram? Continue reading →
Every June I feel guilty for not attending the end of year activities at Bridget’s preschool. The truth has always been that since she wasn’t “graduating” to kindergarten I felt why go through the motions? Why go through the tears, anxiety and feelings of despair as I watched children that were her friends move on without her.
Every year she arrives home with her diploma and I put it with the previous years in my hope chest. Last year was especially difficult for me. It was the first year that Bridget should have been graduating to kindergarten. Per my usual MO I skipped the ceremony. In my mind,it hadn’t happened yet. She wasn’t graduating and I wasn’t going to pretend. I promised myself that next year, this year, I would attend the ceremony. I would take pictures and I would pretend I was like every other mom ecstatic that my child was going to be (finally) moving up to kindergarten.
Instead I skipped the ceremony. But I swear it wasn’t my fault! Continue reading →
I’m here because I want to be. Because I have to be “here”. In the now, in the moment. That is my goal in 2015. To not just remember the moments but to live the heck out of them.
I started blogging in June 2012 after finding a blog post by accident. I honestly had no idea what a blog was, but fell in love with the sense of community. I knew Bridget was “special” but wasn’t yet comfortable with her being “special needs”. I felt alone, so alone, that my friends didn’t understand. After three years of navigating the world of the Undiagnosed (yes, I made up a word way back in 2012) I felt like I had something to add to the discussion and created Undiagnosed but Okay. Continue reading →
I am probably one of the biggest anti-joiners out there. In school I was the girl most likely not to be a part of the “in” or “cool” crowd. That was okay with me. I had my circle of friends and we identified with every character in a John Hughes movie.
Somehow I have left that girl behind. I am now part of a clique. It’s a great clique. They support one another, encourage and critique. We share our deepest secrets, regrets and desires with one another. And the world. Continue reading →
This Christmas I did something to insure I would not have to buy my mother another gift, card, flowers or anything for the next 12 months. I could probably dye my hair hot pink and she would still have to forgive me. The gift I got her at Christmas was that great (not to brag or anything).
When I was 12 my mother was going to a concert with three friends, one of whom bailed the day of the concert. Although money was extremely tight in our lives, my mom incurred the expense of a babysitter and allowed me to go with her and her friends. It was the first time I saw my mom as an adult, not a mom. One who had conversations and laughter a part from our family. It was eye-opening and something I have never forgotten. Continue reading →
(Un)Diagnosed and still okay 